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Funny story: The Secret History of New Labour

The Secret History of New Labour

Following the excesses of the Hard-Line Labour movement post 1979, and successive Election defeats under Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock, a growing faction within Labour realised that without change they would be relegated to a footnote in political history. EARLY DAYS The movement, meeting in secret under the guise of Commons committees, called itself the Guardians of International Truth and...

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Funny story: Government Launch New Anti-Terror Force

Government Launch New Anti-Terror Force

The Government today announced the creation of a new, 60,000-strong volunteer force to take the war against extremism and terror into the streets of Britain. A development of the 'citizen justice' concept that brought us the Traffic Wombles and th...

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Funny story: House of Commons Bans Gallywolly

House of Commons Bans Gallywolly

The House of Commons has banned the controversial MP Georgie Gallywolly from entering. The No Respect MP's support for a bunch of mass murdering religious fanatics has led to him no longer being welcome. The speaker Martin George said "The Prime Mini...

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Funny story: UK government to be "outsourced and offshored" to Indian incontinent (subcontinent)

UK government to be "outsourced and offshored" to Indian incontinent (subcontinent)

British residents gave a euphoric welcome to the news that the ruling elite of all colours and persuasions had rationalised, downsized, outsourced and offshored themselves to a call centre in Delhi. During the transfer of control, the British too...

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Funny story: New Study Reveals Global Common Sense Shortage

New Study Reveals Global Common Sense Shortage

A study commissioned by the mental health watchdog OFFNUT, has revealed a startling decline in common sense worldwide. Initially seen as a purely American phenomenon, Total Absence of Rational Thought (TART) has spread rapidly throughout Europe and...

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Funny story: Parliament Refuses to Punish England's drunken majority

Parliament Refuses to Punish England's drunken majority

The United Kingdom's Chief medical Officer is worried about the increasing consumption of booze in Britain. Sir T. Temperance Totaller proposes that the cost of getting blottoed be doubled in the UK. Parliamentarians yelled and screamed simult...

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Funny story: Brown and Balls: "Top Criminals to be fast tracked into teaching careers". Market farces continue to prevail!

Brown and Balls: "Top Criminals to be fast tracked into teaching careers". Market farces continue to prevail!

Consternation in the UK as Gordon Brown and Ed Balls announce that the current one year Post Graduate Course in Education could be cut to six months in order to recruit an army of unfortunate, former, city of London, financial weasels. "Funny mo...

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Funny story: Government officially registered insane

Government officially registered insane

After a psychological test, all members of the government have been officially registered as insane, and have been transferred out of harms way to a very comfortable nursing home-cum-asylum somewhere near Brighton. The crunch came as a result of t...

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Funny story: Government Announces New Bank Lending Rules

Government Announces New Bank Lending Rules

Britain's nationalised banks are to be 'facelifted' and to introduce new lending policies in a bid to revitalise Britain's torpid housing market, it was announced today. Northern Wreck, Lards Banking Group and Royal Plank of Scotland, which are no...

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Funny story: Cameron calls for new torture probe

Cameron calls for new torture probe

Tory Leader David Cameron Speaking at Prime Minister's Question Time, called for new and improved torture probes. He said existing probes have not proved effective enough in extracting information from Islamic no-fun-and-mentalists being held in chal...

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Funny story: 'We Do Matter' Says Lib Dem Leader

'We Do Matter' Says Lib Dem Leader

At the opening of the Liberal Democrat party conference Nick Clogg urged his party's supporters to keep working hard. "We are still relevant" he told a packed (all six seats filled) Harrogate Refreshment Rooms. He was seeking to silence those who hav...

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Funny story: Government sued over misleading speed camera signs

Government sued over misleading speed camera signs

Trading standards have successfully sued the government over misleading speed camera signs. Speeder John Wilson contacted trading standards to complain that the cameras used by police are nothing like the ones shown on the signs. The high court j...

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Funny story: MP League Tables to be Published

MP League Tables to be Published

In keeping with the Government's push for accountability and transparency, the House of Commons is planning to publish a table showing key information about every MP. The individual elements of information that make up the table will all be given...

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Funny story: British Author Somehow Caught Up In Guinea-Bissau Turmoil

British Author Somehow Caught Up In Guinea-Bissau Turmoil

British author Frederick Forsyth has told the BBC how he was accidentally once again caught in the turmoil this week in the tiny West African state of Guinea-Bissau, rocked by the assassinations of its president and army chief. The best-selling au...

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Funny story: Culling of ignorant to begin Saturday

Culling of ignorant to begin Saturday

In a move certain to raise eyebrows in the House of Lords, the Government have announced that from Saturday they will start to cull the stupidest 25% of the adult population. "The great unwashed, the workshy and people who are just plain ignorant...

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Funny story: Labour Government Ordered To Repay For Nanny State

Labour Government Ordered To Repay For Nanny State

The Labour Government has run into trouble with parliamentary watchdogs. It has been reported for using taxpayers money to bolster the nanny state, which is not allowed under parliamentary protocol. The spread of the nanny state has been fed by ta...

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Funny story: Government Introduces Retrospective Pensions Law

Government Introduces Retrospective Pensions Law

Leader of the House of Commons Harridan Harperson has said that it is unacceptable that members of the Proletariat should have personal pensions, following the outcry over the massive payout to former RBS chairman Sir Fred Goodwin. Speaking on the...

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