Many of the world's elderly have enthusiastically embraced new research findings indicating that 'normal' activities such as climbing stairs and performing household chores can help older adults live longer. Old folks from all stations of life the...
No 10 Downing Street, London SW1- (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's official spokesman reacted swiftly this morning following reports that Tony Blair and Pope Joseph Ratzinger had reached agreement on the exact timing of the Second Coming,...
The Swiss Guard may soon be marching out of the Vatican as Pope Benedict XVI revolutionises Catholic Church finances with a sweeping programme of competitive tendering.
VATICAN CITY, MAY 25 Pope Benedict XVI today issued a "monitum," described by a Vatican official as "an admonition, guidance for the faithful," detailing how Roman Catholics can watch the hit film The DaVinci Code while minim...
THE VATICAN (UPI)--Reacting angrily to the $224 million gross worldwide opening of the "The Da Vinci Code" movie, Pope Benedict XVI dismissed its plot of a Catholic cover-up by publicly displaying the bones of Jesus Christ, which he said had been sto...
Vatican City, Thursday 4 May 2006 - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): After many decades of theological schizm, humbuggery and dire Pontifical warnings of hellfire and damnation, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has announced that the Vatican is to open its own...
Vatican City, Italy; Easter Sunday 16 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): An official statement today by the Chief Inquisitor at the Pontifical Prefecture of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has confirmed that His Infallibility Pope &...
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have confirmed they are to leave South Park - the controversial cartoon series they created, write and star in - after objecting to the "gratuitously sick, twisted" way a recent episode depicted the Pope and Roman...
The Vatican has attempted to pacify gay rights groups, it was claimed today, by bravely reiterating its stand against sexually active heterosexuals joining the priesthood, in a draft doctrinal paper approved by the Pope, presented in Rome earlier tod...
Mr. Socks, a recently deceased three-year old Tabby Cat, today took another step closer to becoming not just the first feline saint, but the holy figure with the shortest recorded gap between death and inauguration by the pope.
IT was yesterday announced that the Pope and several other religious parties are planning a sequel to bestseller 'The Holy Bible' as part of their Christmas and New Year celebrations. It is expected that Richard Branson's Virgin company w...
The Pope has announced he will change his name after admitting that his current title "Benedict XVI" just isn't "catchy enough to make an impression on the world stage". He now wishes to be addressed instead as "His Holin...
"It was so quiet you could hear a Rosary drop" said one witness after Pope Benedict XVI sat down for Christmas Dinner and a loud PFFFFFT rang out. Vatican security is optimistic that they will catch the prankster who keeps playing practic...
Vatican City - Yesterday in St. Peters Square, millions were shocked to both hear and see that Pope Benedict XVI is Santa Claus. Wearing a white fur-trimmed red bonnet and a red cape with white underneath, Santa waved to his fans after making...
London, England. Music mogul Simon Cowell will judge the latest reality game show to hit the small screen - Pope Idol.The show is sure to be hit, following on from Cowell's previous successes such as Popstars, Pop Idol and The Rabbi Factor.
Oscar the Grouch of Sesame Street has been named the latest winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, over such dignitaries as the new Pope, the U.N. Secretary General, and lots of other self important people. In a statement by selection committee chairman W...
Vatican City, Rome -- Precipitated by the recent passing of Pope John Paul II, the Catholic church is currently in the process of re-evaluating its role in the modern world. While the College of Cardinals are presently in seclusion choosing a new Pop...
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