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Funny satire stories about Health

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Funny story: Flu Season Is Here. Follow These Helpful Doctor Tips

Flu Season Is Here. Follow These Helpful Doctor Tips

Since the flu season is almost here, a survey of general practitioners have been consulted and the following recommendations are highly recommended for everyone, especially for the now older, softer candy-ass Baby Boomers: 1. If your child comes home from school all coughing, sweating and wheezing, immediately lock him in the attic or in the basement and feed him his food and pills through a...

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Funny story: Hand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit

Hand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit

After a year of research into the antiseptic qualities of the typical over-the-counter, alcohol based hand sanitizer, researchers now admit that the ingredients in the sanitizer are no more effective than the spit from any mother's mouth. Side by...

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Funny story: Fight the Flab, Keep the Cash

Fight the Flab, Keep the Cash

In an effort to combat the obesity epidemic running rife through Britain £30million has been earmarked to five towns and cities across the UK to allow the to fight the flab. Manchester Council leader Pat Carnivore is to receive £10million of the p...

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Funny story: Bush Stands in the Doorway of Hospitals for the Poor, Axe Handle Aready!

Bush Stands in the Doorway of Hospitals for the Poor, Axe Handle Aready!

Worst President Ever GWB has begun his eleventh hour executive post election initiatives with an attack on the healthcare of the poorest Americans. As in the days of segregation when now infamous elected racists stood in the portals of institutions o...

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Funny story: Doctors Kill Patients...Again!

Doctors Kill Patients...Again!

In another shocking blunder, it was revealed today that doctors at 4 different hospitals in Kent failed to spot a patient whose head was completely decapitated from his body. 'It's absolutely disgusting' said a hospital cleaner this morning as she...

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Funny story: Candies' Health Reports: McCain's Melanoma Pales in Contrast to Palin's Megalomania!

Candies' Health Reports: McCain's Melanoma Pales in Contrast to Palin's Megalomania!

John McCain may have had serious bouts with skin cancer but his running mate according to recently revealed mental health reports is a much sicker puppy. Palin has been diagnosed with Megalomania Giganticus. This rare but fatal mental illness h...

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Funny story: CTS: The new Sars or Y2K?

CTS: The new Sars or Y2K?

CTS. The Silent Killer! - Unspoken of for too long, an insidious killer lurks in our midst. A silent affliction, mainly affecting older men, it gradually overwhelms, so slowly yet so comfortably that the victim is blissfully unaware of his own impend...

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Funny story: Stomach Bug Apparently Going Around Chester, W. Virginia

Stomach Bug Apparently Going Around Chester, W. Virginia

Betty June Woodcock, a passive, mousy little waitress at the Farm Boy, was put in her place Tuesday by co-waitress, 180-pound big busty blonde, Joanie Dale Belcher. "Oh, thank you sweetie for coming all the way over to my set of tables and servin...

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Funny story: Aspartame to Tame World Population Explosion

Aspartame to Tame World Population Explosion

EARTH, Solar System - It is reported from many reliable sources on this planet, and others, that the planet Earth is quite crowded. In fact, all the good spots are taken, and taken again, and taken again, and taken again.. in wars. Earthlings hav...

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Funny story: Iranian President confirmed as very sick but not the least bit ill

Iranian President confirmed as very sick but not the least bit ill

The President of Iran, Mahmoud Have-a-no-dinnajacket, has today squashed all rumours that he is in any way the least bit ill and confirmed that he is actually very sick instead. A spokesman for the President, Ali Oopsadaisy has instructed the medi...

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Funny story: Bacteria Attack Executives

Bacteria Attack Executives

FORT KMOCKS, KY - UDDATE 1 - Scientists discovered bacteria that are solely attacking executives of large corporations. Strangely, these bacteria select those who have already quit their job, who worked for companies which have lead to losing bi...

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Funny story: Beans and real ale lower BP

Beans and real ale lower BP

American researchers working with mice have discovered that hydrogen sulphide, technically known as 'fart gas', relaxes blood vessels and lowers blood pressure. The gas is one of the principle noxious ingredients in particularly rancid flatulence.

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Funny story: NHS Not Using IT

NHS Not Using IT

After a £12billion injection of cash into the IT sector of the NHS, it has been revealed that most of it was wasted. Lord Darzi's report into the 'internetification' of the NHS highlighted several shortfalls. Although hospital patient records are...

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Funny story: Scotch Tape Emits X-Rays and Saves Pennies; McCain Adds it to His Healthcareless Plan!

Scotch Tape Emits X-Rays and Saves Pennies; McCain Adds it to His Healthcareless Plan!

Scotch tape has been discovered to emit X-rays in zero-gravity. The reasonably priced made-in-Scotland product has been an essential part of the life of all the peoples of the planet. Due to a patent on the magically invisible sticky stuff, it ca...

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Funny story: McCain Reveals that He is Sicker than Obama's Granny!

McCain Reveals that He is Sicker than Obama's Granny!

Medical experts have been frustrated by the limited access to the candidates' health records. Nothing has appeared on Palin except for some tantalizing hints of frostbite and megalomania; Biden won't reveal the full details of the persistent tric...

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Funny story: Keith Richards in dead mystery

Keith Richards in dead mystery

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards was left red faced when he had a medical for a new life insurance policy. It appears that the legendary rocker had been dead for at least 15 years. Keith said "I had a strange feeling in my chest back in...

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Funny story: Kim Jong-Very-Ill-Indeed announcement on Monday

Kim Jong-Very-Ill-Indeed announcement on Monday

Pyongyang - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): North Korean party officials are poised to announce that their beloved leader Kim Jong-Very-Ill-Indeed has died from a congenital disease caught from his birth mother the Al Qaeda Puppet Monarch. Kim, 69, has...

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