One of the best running London soap operas has ended and a painful love affair brought to an abrupt end as the whole world wakes up to the divorce of the season; Abramovich has booted Jose! Twitter, Facebook, etc, have all gone ballistic after th...
A desperate Slaven Bilic, West Ham's brilliant Manager who has placed the Hammers near the top of the Premier League, has recently found the ghost of Big Sam Allardyce haunting his team. Bilic is certain that Sam, now ploughing hard at his new clu...
King Louis van Gaal, manager of a once great football club called Manchester United, has been offered the lead role in a remake of Disney's fabulous classic, Jungle Book! He will sit on his throne, suck and spit out bananas, slip up on their skins...
The Labour Party said goodbye to former Liverpool and Bradford City striker Stan Collymore as he dramatically changed his allegiance to the SNP, even though he's never lived in Scotland. Collymore was protesting about the fact that some Labour MP...
Liverpool's new manager, Jürgen Klopp, arrived at the team's training ground yesterday sporting a long beard and two metre shaft. After his crash course in English at the Evertonian Biblical Society, Klopp felt more than ready for his future tasks.
In an extraordinary announcement made by the FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, yesterday it was confirmed that Wales will host the Football World Cup in 2034. "We need to scale down", said Blatter. "Some people think FIFA is all about money. It isn't.
It's happened again. People's inability to read a news story to the end has got immigration fretters wearing away the last strand holding their heads on. European soccer chiefs this week announced a scheme to introduce green cards to profession...
English soccer has been use to mediocrity over the last 45 odd years and the shining example of this habit is in the one and only, Wayne Rooney (who?)! After breaking the English scoring record once held by a rather more talented, Sir Bobby Charlt...
Robust writer and charismatic rhetorician David Irving has just published some astonishing revisionist historical allegations. Yes: England's most non-UKIP of Holocaust revisionists now claims that Germany never lost the World Cup in 1966. Irving does admit that he didn't always think of it this way. However, there was as long, slippery slope, before he finally found 'bullshit at the end of...
Chelsea players have been implored not to dive during their head to head with Manchester City, due to a lack of medical staff on their bench. After Jose Mourinho's bizarre sending off of his medical team, it has left the London side facing a diffi...
After months of waiting, starving and going insane watching repeats of Eastenders, at last the English Premier League kicks into action once again! Lineker has followed the bucks, which has left the Beeb having to search for a new sonny boy. T...
"Дайте мне все свои деньги", squeals local survey participant Due to new surveys that have taken place in Russia FIFA has decided to relocate the 2018 World Cup to America. Russia has many activists and FIFA fears that enraged, violent Russian fan...
With the transfer market offcially open a sensational transfer has just hit the headlines in the UK, Balotelli joins United! Transfers between the arch rivals are very seldom and only an ancient Irish defender, Noel Cantwell, ever ventured between...
Young nine-year old Sean and his dad Pat are seated together on a sofa in their living room watching the UEFA European Cup Final between Barcelona the hot favourites and Juventus on the tele. The boy balances a football on his knees. With five minutes left in the game and the scoreline 2-1 to Barcelona dad's nerves, like his finger nails, are frayed. The following conversation takes place. Dad...
Florida - FBI forensic sleuths are probing the biggest dump ever discovered of Roman Abramovich's rubbish and related GazPogrom Bank crap. Over five tons of yacht garbage have been recovered from the oligarch's ocean-going runabout in an operatio...
Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...
The end of yet another English Premier League season is upon us, and even though the title race has been decided, there are still relegation issues to be settled. In amongst these are Hull City, whose fans, although still believing in their team's ab...
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