'We are crying out for food. We have no energy to cultivate our land. Instead of working our fields, we are tending the sick and being sent to prison where we will be executed for merely cultivating cannabis to help make enough money to feed our village.'...
Yesterday, the Government revealed plans to boost the nations' economy by opening a burger bar.
Minneowakmookookeekee, FL---The Florida Senate today upheld and passed a law proposed by the Florida House, banning restaurants from having "Early Bird Special" buffets. This has come in the wake of statewide violence amongst octogenarians...
Camamile Tea Arkansas - The Most common of all food orders in the western world is burger, fries and a diet coke. In a survey conducted by the food channel and 300,000 fast food restaurants, there seems to be no contest.
Washinton - In it's latest report, The National Research Council advised the United States Treasury Department that if Cloned Meat and food byproducts are sold in American markets that not only food stamps and coupons can be used to purchase the...
London - (Ass Mess): Triple Michelin starred chef Gordon Ramsey is urging the English restaurant-going chattering classes to "start eating whoresmeat" like their French cousins over the Channel.
Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...
Shocked diners in London today discovered that the carefully prepared meal in front of them was in fact another diner's severed penis.
Duke, the famous talking dog from the Bush bean commercials, was put to sleep this morning after selling the company's secret family recipe to a competitor for an undisclosed price.
A study by the university of Hogwarts has discovered that food is unsafe and shouldn't be consumed by humans.
Samuel "Hoot" Dawson insists he isn't trying to cause trouble for the gelatin dessert empire, but he is adamant that they rethink their long-time advertising tag, "There's always room for Jell-O!"...
Don Carson, an electrician with Webco Construction, thinks he may have exaggerated when he said a reuben he ordered at King's Sandwich Shack "tasted like shit".
Jamie Oliver, who has been dubbed the most annoying TV chef in history, has offered a reward to anybody who can give information regarding a theft from the pub where the twat grew up.
Seattle, Washington - A high-ranking PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) official admitted today that if plants were cuddly and cute, or if they screamed when plucked or stepped on, she wouldn't eat them either.
Today, a ban has come into force that prevents unhealthy food products being advertised on children's programmes.
SPAIN--A 10-YEAR-OLD Spanish boy weighing 100 kg (220 lb) has admitted to eating his grandparents after he was told that there was no food left in the house.
In the wake of scientific studies linking red meat consumption during pregnancy to low sperm count in male offspring, there has been a enormous spike in the red meat intake of unmarried, pregnant women, especially those in their teens.
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