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Funny story: Cops block Papal state visit

Cops block Papal state visit

London - (Associated Mess): Next year's proposed Vatican state visit by Pope Joseph Ratzinger has been cancelled following advice from the Metropolitan Police's Serious and Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) that it would provoke an unwarranted f...

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Funny story: Cardinal laughs off Ratzinger unholy mess

Cardinal laughs off Ratzinger unholy mess

Westminster Cathedral, London - (Associated Mess): Archbishop Cormac Murphy O'Connor today laughed off 'ludicrous' claims made by a UK television documentary this weekend that his boss Pope Joseph Ratzinger ordered a life-long child ab...

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Funny story: Pope Says So What

Pope Says So What

Fanning the flames with gasoline, (crude selling at $60 a barrel) the Pope insisted his 799th apology was sufficient, adding a defiant, "So what?" He was trying to open a dialogue, and religious fanatics proclaimed a Jihad. They should star...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict Converts to Islam

Pope Benedict Converts to Islam

VATICAN CITY -- Pope Benedict's speech last week, which the Muslim world took to condemn Islam for violence, set off a whole series of riots, church burnings and the murder of a nun. The Pope, following multiple failed apologies for his words, a...

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Funny story: Hearts 'N' Minds: Bush hires Ratzinger's spin doctors

Hearts 'N' Minds: Bush hires Ratzinger's spin doctors

Washington DC - (Associated Mess): President Bush is said to be so impressed by the Vatican's astonishingly succcessful PR campaign last week which culminated in Pope Ratzinger's seminal remarks on inter-faith ecumenism that he has hired pont...

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Funny story: 1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The "evil and inhuman things" slanging match war of words between the Pope and the Islamic world has equalised today with the half-time score standing at one all following the publication of official UK St...

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Funny story: Pope's Cartoons Not Meant To Cause Offence To Islam

Pope's Cartoons Not Meant To Cause Offence To Islam

The Vatican has denied that Pope Benedict XVI intended any offence to Muslims after he sketched a series of lighthearted Islamic-based cartoons including one depicting the Prophet Muhammad wearing a revealing mini-skirt and sporting a funny moustache...

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Funny story: Pope Insults Islam in Germany

Pope Insults Islam in Germany

BAVARIA (Reuters) -- Pope Benedict has deeply offended Islam and harmed worldwide religious harmony according to government and religious leaders in the world's most populous Muslim countries, Indonesia and Pakistan.

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Funny story: The Pope Launches Catholic Lite

The Pope Launches Catholic Lite

In the latest attempt to stem the continuing decline in church attendances, the Pope has launched the Catholic Lite initiative. Catholic Lite is aimed at those who would like to be committed Catholics but when faced with attending Mass every Sunday,...

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Funny story: Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...

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Funny story: Pope laments latest Middle East ceasefire

Pope laments latest Middle East ceasefire

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): In his weekly address to the dwindling masses of his Pontifical Fan Club, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has bemoaned the latest Middle East ceasefire as being un-biblical and called for an immediate resumption of hostilit...

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Funny story: Bush suborns Ratzinger's Osama paternity DNA evidence

Bush suborns Ratzinger's Osama paternity DNA evidence

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): In a shock move that has left even the most cynical cynics reeling, George W Bush this week ordered the destruction of all internet references to newly discovered MI6 evidence that name Pope Joseph Ratzinger and fo...

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Funny story: Pope Seen at Laundromat after Research Says Housework Helps Elderly Live Longer

Pope Seen at Laundromat after Research Says Housework Helps Elderly Live Longer

Many of the world's elderly have enthusiastically embraced new research findings indicating that 'normal' activities such as climbing stairs and performing household chores can help older adults live longer. Old folks from all stations of life the...

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Funny story: 6/6/6 Day of Judgement glee for odds-on backers

6/6/6 Day of Judgement glee for odds-on backers

No 10 Downing Street, London SW1- (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's official spokesman reacted swiftly this morning following reports that Tony Blair and Pope Joseph Ratzinger had reached agreement on the exact timing of the Second Coming,...

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Funny story: Swiss Guard Faces Axe from Vatican

Swiss Guard Faces Axe from Vatican

The Swiss Guard may soon be marching out of the Vatican as Pope Benedict XVI revolutionises Catholic Church finances with a sweeping programme of competitive tendering.

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Funny story: Vatican instructs Catholics on how to view DaVinci Code

Vatican instructs Catholics on how to view DaVinci Code

VATICAN CITY, MAY 25 Pope Benedict XVI today issued a "monitum," described by a Vatican official as "an admonition, guidance for the faithful," detailing how Roman Catholics can watch the hit film The DaVinci Code while minim...

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Funny story: Vatican Displays Bones of Jesus Christ While 'Da Vinci Code' Rakes in $224 Million

Vatican Displays Bones of Jesus Christ While 'Da Vinci Code' Rakes in $224 Million

THE VATICAN (UPI)--Reacting angrily to the $224 million gross worldwide opening of the "The Da Vinci Code" movie, Pope Benedict XVI dismissed its plot of a Catholic cover-up by publicly displaying the bones of Jesus Christ, which he said had been sto...

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