Two armed British pigs have shot dead two suspected terrorist Mexican pigs at Heathrow Airport. The two armed pigs shot the two suspected terrorist Mexican pigs after CCTC showed they were about to let loose a biological weapon, namely Mexican Swi...
Jeremiah Redolpho Manchetteu, 21, is not particularly good at the robbery profession nor perhaps, even an ingenious idiot, but he's definitely headed for a whole new bumbler term of his own. While out on bail last week and awaiting his trial for...
Police have issued a video tape of protesters trying to coerce policemen into acting like human beings. The protesting culprits were tracked down, and when interviewed in police custardy (which was very sticky and lumpy) said "We don't discuss m...
A Jedi knight has confessed to being a police officer in his spare time. Obi Wan Kenobi shocked fellow delegates at the annual Jedi conference in Dundee with his announcement. He stood before them and said "I like being a police officer. This is no l...
London, Today. - Police and tourist chiefs are reporting an influx of antagonistic masochistic visitors to London. Hatchet faced Kirsty Thunt(34+4), of the London Tourist board said she had witnessed a large increase in the numbers of 'giggly,...
The widely regarded low point of BBC dramatic programming in 2009, aired its finaly episode last night. Set in a suburb of Manchester, and based around an Indian police officer, the show "Hyde and Seikh" has been losing viewers consistently since...
Ian Tomlinson, the innocent newspaper-seller who was killed by police on the way home during the G20 protests in London, is to undergo yet another forensic autopsy - and maybe more if the police don't get the right result! Mr Tomlinson was caught...
London. Night. - Reports are emerging that the Metropolitan Police are to be disbanded. A statement issued by a dreadlocked white chap wearing a balaclava from a squat in Stockwell predicted that the Metropolitan Police's days are numbered following...
There was a significant development this afternoon in the Ian Tomlinson murder enquiry, when it was revealed that the newspaper seller who was just innocently ambling home from work that fateful day, WAS KILLED AS A RESULT OF POLICE ACTION. Mr Tom...
Even more shameful video footage of Police behaviour during the G20 protests was released today causing further controversy. The new footage appears to show members of the Police pulling members of the public's hair, giving wedgies (some atomic),...
Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has called for a review of tactics in the wake of the protests at the G20 summit. The Met has hired former Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho as a Special Adviser, to help them tighten up the areas ide...
A Met police officer policing the G20 demonstrations earlier this month has been branded "Karate Cop" after his violent antics were caught on camera. In a statement, the Karate Cop was quoted as saying "I had to smack a bitch today cos she got out...
London - (Real IRA Mess): Spooks' sources hinted today that Assistant Commissioner Bob 'Tosser-of-the-Yard' Quick had already been ritually fired three hours before last Thursday's Official Secrets papers photo-op fiasco. His appearance outside 10...
A Police chief has claimed that dangerous drivers are a menace and police resources should be diverted to tackling this issue. Juliet Bravo, Chief Constable of Cambridgeshire, said "The driver in the car behind you is speeding. He is not wearing a...
Britain's top counter-terrorism officer has quit after admitting he could have jeopardised an operation to thwart a possible UK al-Qaeda terror plot. Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick resigned after he accidentally revealed a secret document to ph...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): A senior police officer - whose dawn arrest of Tony Blair's personal nappy-changer Ruth Turner and blind truss portfolio bagman Lord Levy has become the stuff of New Scotland Yard legend - has replaced daftass top UK anti-...
London Mayor Boris Johnson has expressed concern regarding the hasty replacement of Anti-Terror Boss Bob Quick. Home Secretary Jacqui Smiff countered Johnsons claim by saying "we would have put the British public at risk had we not replaced the bu...
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