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Funny story: Expenses claimed by MPs

Expenses claimed by MPs

An investigation by the Sunday BrownNoser revealed expenses claimed by MPs Gordon Brown: £800 fee on a course 'How to be a leader' Michael Martin: Speaker spent £1,400 on chauffeurs to his local job centre to claim Income support and housing benefit. Margaret Moran: £250 on a Weight Watchers course David Cameron: £2.50 for a hair cut at Imrans barbers and £25,000 on a...

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Funny story: MPs allowances are bigger than most bankers' bonuses

MPs allowances are bigger than most bankers' bonuses

MPs are facing allegations by the City that their allowances are far more generous and far less tied to performance than bankers' much maligned bonuses. In a statement for the City lobby group "FatCat", a complete banker said: "I don't where these...

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Funny story: Gerry Adams doesn't refuse to take a British second home allowance

Gerry Adams doesn't refuse to take a British second home allowance

Provisional Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams, who has always refused to take his seat in Westminster due to protests against Britain's illegal 'occupation' of the six counties of Northern Ireland - despite the fact that the British there have been there...

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Funny story: Phil Woolarse pantyliner bill taking the piss?

Phil Woolarse pantyliner bill taking the piss?

London - (Parliamentary Ass Mess): Ghurkas Minister Phil Woolarse was accused of taking the piss this weekend after his published expenses bill showed claims for more than a thousand pounds per annum on 'Tenner Lady' pantyliners. The Immigration M...

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Funny story: New UFO Papers Released By Brit Government

New UFO Papers Released By Brit Government

Britain's defence ministry has just released over 10,000 more declassified UFO files to the general public. The files, released by Britain's National Archives, pertain to incidents from January 1, 1985 to Dec 31st 1995. The time period covers about 2...

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Funny story: Panda Porn Perks Up British Web Watchers

Panda Porn Perks Up British Web Watchers

British tabloid, the Gordy Brown Knot, has a regular feature that has kept careful track of the sexsual predelictions of British pornography purchasers. The United Kingdom Great Britain recession has cut sharply into porn profits from erotic websites...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown snaps at PM Question Time

Gordon Brown snaps at PM Question Time

Under fire British Prime Minister snapped today during a heated exchange with Conservative leader David Cameron. The pressure has clearly been building on Brown who had seen even his own party turning on him. The initial cracks in the PM starte...

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Funny story: Government unveils giant "money funnel"

Government unveils giant "money funnel"

The government is due to unveil a giant money funnel today, designed to better demonstrate where large proportions of public money go. Top secret until now, details of the funnel are still sketchy; however, it is believed to be built of enamel a...

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Funny story: Tony Blair to make Labour Party comeback

Tony Blair to make Labour Party comeback

Tony Blair is planning to make a suprise, yet glorious, return to the UK Labour Party. A close friend of the former Prime Minister described how "Tony is livid with the state of both the party and the country overall. When he left everything was...

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Funny story: Government minister: "I've just realised we're a bit shit, really"

Government minister: "I've just realised we're a bit shit, really"

Hazel Bleuughs, minister for patronising and talking down to the masses launched a savage attack on PM Gordon Brown this weekend for being, "useless, out of touch and just utterly rubbish, frankly". However, she later backed down saying that this was...

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Funny story: "I left my sandwich at home" MP explains why he expensed £1,000 for lunch

"I left my sandwich at home" MP explains why he expensed £1,000 for lunch

Whitehall, London - An MP has been queried over an expense submitted for £1,000 for "lunch." Under the "Description" in the spreadsheet the MP called the expense "lunch for one at McDonalds to peruse important governmental documents". The unnamed M...

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Funny story: MP's pass new suprise "Monopoly " expense plans

MP's pass new suprise "Monopoly " expense plans

The latest news from the House of Commons is that Members of Parliament have approved the new proposed expense measures by a narrow margin. The revised process will restrict the amounts that MPs are able to claim and are designed to ensure a great...

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Funny story: Darling Decoded

Darling Decoded

After a week's detailed analysis, aided only by caffeine and barbiturates, it is now possible to bring you the unexpurgated, euphemism-free version of Alistair Darling's Budget speech: "Mr. Deputy Speaker, Honourable Members, and the scum in the public gallery, it is my sad duty to report that the nation is flat broke. Skint. Our finances are as sound as a council house roof. We have blown all...

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Funny story: Government denies Swine fever masks cover-up

Government denies Swine fever masks cover-up

The government today vigorously denied claims that a mass issue of masks - ostensibly for the use of preventing the spread of swine fever - were in fact an attempt to cover-up the spread of panic amongst members of the government, which, it is claime...

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Funny story: Government clarify new Gurkha admission rules

Government clarify new Gurkha admission rules

In a press release this morning, the Government has clarified the criteria by which soldiers serving with the famous Gurkha regiment will be eligible to settle in the UK. "Our new admissions policy means that almost all members of the Gurkha regim...

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Funny story: Burkas Denied Right To Settle In Uk

Burkas Denied Right To Settle In Uk

The Government today announced that Burkas were to be denied the right to settle in the UK unless special circumstances were present. Originally the Government had lost in court, but on appeal the High Court found the Government's argument to be of m...

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Funny story: Government clarify new Gurkha admission rules

Government clarify new Gurkha admission rules

In a press release this morning, the Government has clarified the criteria by which soldiers serving with the famous Gurkha regiment will be eligible to settle in the UK. "Our new admissions policy means that almost all members of the Gurkha regim...

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