WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just announced that the producers of the hit show Duck Dynasty have invited President Obama to guest star on the A&E show. Colfax informed the White House reporters that the preside...
HOUSTON - The executives at NASA are thrilled due to the fact that they have just received a very generous donation from the patriarch of Duck Dynasty's Robertson family, Phil Robertson. Phil told the press that the members of his family have alwa...
HOUSTON - NASA has just informed the national news media that actress Sofia Vergara has just signed a contract to star in a public service commercial for The National Aeronautical Space Administration. NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb said that...
Michelle Obama stated that it was nothing at the time but she has now changed her story about her husband and the Prime Minister of Denmark. A Source at the White House told our reporter that it was all a set-up so that Hillary could get back at...
NEW YORK CITY - The secretary-general of the United Nations Ban-Ki-Moon has made it abundantly clear to the Central American government of Guatemala that they need to squash their invasion of North Korea rhetoric immediately. Ban-Ki-Moon informed...
The bearded and possibly inbred Robertson clan from "Duck Dynasty" signed up for Obamacare this morning with little to no trouble, says a family spokesperson. "It took like twenty minutes tops for the whole family!" said distant second cousin Red...
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - Kil Em Al, interim spokesman for the Korean Central News Agency, announced today that President Barack Hussein Obama will visit the supreme leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Kim Jong Un in February. Pres...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he will no longer pussy-foot when it comes to dealing with conservative radio talk shows. He told an assembled group of news reporters in the White House Rose Garden that he can no longer allow th...
CHICAGO - Playboy Corporation mogul Hugh Hefner has offered the stunning blonde prime minister of Denmark, Helle Thorning-Schmidt $1.8 million to appear in a nude layout in his magazine. Hefner spoke with reporters and stated that he knows that th...
Hope was a dying ember in a decaying star. The populous was living in constant fear; they were afraid to leave their dwellings, afraid to trust anyone who wasn't a white, heterosexual, Christian American for fear they may be terrorists. The working c...
Special to TPN - After the resounding success of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare), President Obama has decided to launch a new effort to reinvent the wheel. Leading this initiative will be former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, best known for hav...
Amidst all of the drama in the Oval Office surrounding such events as the terrible rollout of Obamacare and personally choosing drone targets, President Obama seeks to relax by watching his favorite TV shows. By his own accounts the President is...
First lady Michelle Obama will be the guest of honor at a White House dance party next month when she turns "50 and fabulous" but looks more like "50 and frustrated". She's still not all that happy about the Prime Minister of Denmark flirting with...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Michelle Obama was shopping at a local Walmart when she was approached by a reporter with National Focus Magazine. Durango Tucker asked the first lady about the rumors that she is very upset at her husband's flirting with Helle...
Barack Obama was born August 4th, 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Or was he? Obama has feverishly defended that he was born in the United States, but has failed to produce a birth certificate. We have discovered why. After a long arduous search Obama's bir...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama and the prime minister of Denmark, Helle Thorning-Schmidt made headlines all over the world when they were photographed playing footsie at the Nelson Mandela Memorial Eulogy in Johannesburg, South Africa. The att...
"This is remarkable", stated Michelle Obama and her daughters agreed. "I guess the American people appreciate us after all." The First Lady was talking about all the great gifts, over 4000 at the last count, they have received from ordinary citize...
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