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Funny story: Pope to allow oral sex for priests

Pope to allow oral sex for priests

Vatican City (AP) Priests all over the world celebrated as Pope Benedict XVI announced today that Catholic priests will now be allowed to receive fellatio and administer cunnilingus. This is in keeping with the Pope's "modernization" of...

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Funny story: Saddam death by stoning: Pope pleads for mercy

Saddam death by stoning: Pope pleads for mercy

Vatican City - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratinger has issued an official plea for Saddam's death sentence to be commuted to life imprisonment with hard labour in one of the Pontifical Office's maximum security latrines located under the city...

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Funny story: Pope's Message Is Directed To The Yoof

Pope's Message Is Directed To The Yoof

As part of his drive to involve the 'yoof' into the modern church, the Pope will today include a section of his Christmas blessing in a rap specially written for him by English rap combo, The Incontinence Crew.

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Funny story: Pope Reaches Out And Embraces Chav Generation

Pope Reaches Out And Embraces Chav Generation

Pope Benedict XVI has announced a new sponsorship deal with chav's favourite Burberry and from now on we can expect to see His Holiness's gold and crimson vestments being dumped in favour of the brown plaid so beloved of skinheads and dolts t...

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Funny story: Holy Smoke! Croydon Man Elected Pope

Holy Smoke! Croydon Man Elected Pope

In a sequence of events that might have come straight out of madcap religious comedy 'Father Ted', Brian Parker from Croydon near London, was last week elected Pope for a day by The Conclave Of Cardinals in the Vatican.

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Funny story: Vatican admits 'We made the whole thing up'

Vatican admits 'We made the whole thing up'

The Pope was being interviewed by police last night after the Vatican admitted that they made the whole thing up.

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Funny story: Pope wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Pope wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Rome - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): Pope Joseph Ratzinger has won this year's prestigious literary award for the worst example of erotica in his seminal autobiographical oeuvre 'Sixty-nine Something'.

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Funny story: Pope fired for wearing a cross at work

Pope fired for wearing a cross at work

The Christian world was shocked to its religious roots, today, when the Catholic Church announced that Pope Benedict XVI had been sacked for wearing a cross at work. The Pope had apparently been warned before that the likely consequence of his blatan...

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Funny story: Pope slams The Spoof

Pope slams The Spoof

Rome - (ReUterus): Italian newspapers are fuming that Pope Joseph Ratzinger has expressed disgust at satirical sites such as The Spoof! that lampoon his boyhood Nazi allegiances and Uncle Fester-like beady eyes.

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Funny story: Third Secret of Fatima: 'A miracle that no-one's been busted yet' gets JP1 saintly gong

Third Secret of Fatima: 'A miracle that no-one's been busted yet' gets JP1 saintly gong

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The apocalyptical Third Secret of Fatima came tantalisingly close to fulfillment yesterday with the announcement that Pope JP1 will be canonised because the prophecy's prediction that Nazis in the Curia will '...

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Funny story: Pope Admits, Bible is "Crap"

Pope Admits, Bible is "Crap"

After taking Sodium Pentathol for a minor surgical procedure and serving three masses with liberal doses of wine, Pope Benedict XVI held a press conference and admitted the Bible is "just a load of crap" and that the Vatican exists only to...

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Funny story: Vatican studies JP2 'miracle'

Vatican studies JP2 'miracle'

Vatican City - (AssoCIAted Mess): Claims that Pope JP2 Lodge once appeared in a vision to President George Bush Senior - prophesying that his namesake would one day be elected the US President who triumphed victoriously in the Whore Against Terra i...

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Funny story: Ratzinger tax records 'were spied on'

Ratzinger tax records 'were spied on'

Rome, Italy - (AssoCIAted Messerschmitts): Italian prosecutors have confirmed that Pope Joseph Ratzinger has been spied on for the last twenty years by Interpol tax experts looking for the Nazi-stolen gold ingot bars that have suddenly turned up in...

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Funny story: Nazi hunters launch 'God's Banker' cartoon

Nazi hunters launch 'God's Banker' cartoon

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Reports that a highly embarrased Vatican Directorate of History Sanitisation has been panicked into making a children's cartoon about Pope Karol Wojtyla following the arrest of UK Vultures, Mediocrity and Sport Secreta...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Canonizes Saint George W., the "Anti-Islam Oil Saint"

Pope Benedict XVI Canonizes Saint George W., the "Anti-Islam Oil Saint"

THE VATICAN (UPI)--Pope Benedict XVI gave Catholics another saint on Sunday, bestowing for the first time the supreme honor on a still-living, non-Catholic American President, President George Bush.

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Funny story: Bush adviser claims President called Pope 'nuts'

Bush adviser claims President called Pope 'nuts'

Washington DC - (Associated Mess): A former Bush Administration top aide has said that the President courted Pope JP2 Lodge to win the US TheoCon vote in the 2000 White House election run-up but secretly called him 'nuts' once he got his han...

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Funny story: Joy as Vatican tests nuke

Joy as Vatican tests nuke

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): Amid scenes of unprecedented celebration, the Pope held a public audience in St Peter's Square today following the Vatican's universally acclaimed successful test of a nuclear warhead deep under strategicall...

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