London - (Ass Press): The fast track canonisation process to declare Pope JP2 a saint took a dramatic twist into unknown territory as UK anti-terror cops asked that all-important celibacy question that the might have slipped the Vatican's mind:
Vatican City- Today the Pope was shocked to recieve a letter from the Wiccans who usually keep to themselves. He was even more shocked when he opened it. Inside was a single page with but one paragraph on it.
Vatican - (Ass Press): In a concerted equality drive with Pope JP2's sainthood bid Cliff Richard waded into the campaign today to have Pope Raztinger declared the world's Living God with a re-working of one of his most famous 1950s songs.
Even in the Roman Catholic Church, it can be "hard out their for a Pope" to be a Saint. A parade of Papas with syphilis, sons and silicone implants have failed the test for canonization. Even widely venerated Papa John-Paul Segundo (They ch...
Vatican - (ReUterus): Pope Ratzinger has told his weekly audience that he is facing eternal damnation and will be joining the likes of his predecessor Pope JP2, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ronald Reagan "and just about all the members of the Bu...
The Vatican was stunned by the revelation that their 'Papa' has turned to another well known religion. The disappearance of the one time head of the Roman Catholic Church led to speculation that he had eloped with his one time friend, Eva Sti...
Sydney - (Ass Press): Australian entertainer and royal portrait artist Rolf Harris is to unveil his latest celebrity painting of the topless reclining figure of Pope Joseph Ratzinger relaxing in the Vatican's private hot tub.
VATICAN CITY -- Pope Benedict XVI has issued a statement reaffirming the church's traditional stances on remarriage and gay marriage, encouraging the return to the use of Latin in ceremonies, and calling on Catholic politicians to follow the chur...
Some 50,000 brand new George Washington dollar coins have been inadvertently released by the US Mint without the traditional inscription, "In God We Trust".
Last week in County Galway in Ireland, Sister Bernadette was having her morning shit. Her doctor had instructed her to check for worms, so she carefully examined her stools before flushing. But instead of worms, she saw the shape of the Virgin Mary&#...
Vatican City (ReUterus): An inter-ecumenical commission has urged child molestors of all persuasions and perversions to unite under the Pope while the going is still good as George Bush and Tony Blair continue to stonewall their way through public o...
Rome - Astonishing news from Vatican city today, as Monsignor Alphonse Di Vachi, head of a papal commission, looking into ways for the Vatican to maximise falling profits, startled believers and atheists alike when he announced that his new report wo...
Jerusalem - Amazing news from Jerusalem today as a team of Isreali archeologists from the Unviversity of Tel Aviv, sensationally confirmed that the foreskin of the infant baby Jesus, known to followers throughout the world as the "Christ" h...
Vatican City - (Rotters): Pope Ratzinger and UK Chancellor/wannabe Prime Monster Gordon Brown have launched a £750 million fund to vaccinate billions of children against homosexuality according to a Vatican statement issued today.
Pope Benedict 16th has announced that from now on everyone must call him Pope Ratzinger.
It is rumored that Pope Benedict XVI was arrested by police in Rome this afternoon, after being caught having sex with a badger. The badger was said to have been wearing a Nazi uniform. It is not yet known whether the badger enjoyed the encounter.
Koniakow, Poland - (Rioters): A lace-making fraternity in the village of Koniakow, southern Poland is about to float their tayloring business after sales of g-strings, brassieres and crotchless ecclesiastical vestments hit the roof following years of...
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