Rome - (Ass Mess): A Rome City bailiff was unsuccessful in his attempt at trying to reposses the Popemobile today following two years of unpaid parking fines and speeding offences in the Via Dolorosa area of the Vatican City.
Rome - (Ass Mess): According to highly reliable law enforcement sources Pope Joseph Ratzinger is said to be shitting himself today as all five suspects in the God's Banker murder trial were acquitted by a Rome jury that is rumored to have been pa...
Moscow - (Ass Mess): An increasingly paranoid Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has threatened to 'nuke the shit' out of Europe if the CIA outs Pope Josef Ratzinger as his father and nails him for the 1982 murder of God's Bank Roberto Calv...
Downing Street announced today that Tony Blair will be travelling to the Vatican to meet the Pope before standing down as Prime Minister next month.
Buenos Ares, Brazil - The Pope's first visit to Latin America has been a success, drawing little controversy, if any. But with The Holy See announcing today that he was holding a special outdoor prayer service in a personal intersession on behalf...
Pope Benedict XVI has canonised Brazil's first native-born saint, Friar Galvao, to the cheers of up to a million faithful and two million undecided but who like a good spectacle all the same, gathered in Sao Paulo.
Rome - (Ass Mess): Pope Ratiznger has gagged the name of a Holy Sea official who was fired after cocaine was found in his Vatican sauna room locker.
Pope Benedict's plans to revive the Latin Mass, which includes prayers for the conversion of Jews, is causing concern among Catholic and Jewish groups about relations between their faiths.
Catholics are always boasting about miracles and resurrections but none expected the ermine stole of Benedict xvi to begin squirming around the solemn pontiffuerer's neck at Quadriggesima Sunday mass! A week later while Papa Ratzy hugged and bles...
As the German Pontiffuhrer, Benedict 16 tries to rush the sainting of Pius XII, experts on the history of WWII and the Holocaust are asking tough questions about Pius' impious apathy toward the extermination of millions of Jews and Catholics.
(New Brunswick, NJ) -- A Jet-lagged and clearly lost or mislaid Angelina Jolie, UN Special Envoy for Children, Leather goods, & pushUP Bras admitted she was a "tad befuddled" by all the goings-on in New Jersey, North Carolina, and Darfur...
(Vatican City Internet Cafe) -- If I didn't believe this I wouldn't have believed it. His Holiness Pope Benedict XXVI is coming to Rutgers. President Bush is also coming to Rutgers. And Osama Bin Laden will also come to Rutgers.
The Pope has used his customary Easter address to call for world peace. However, as the masses nodded at the speech they've heard so many times, Pope Benedict shocked many when, straight after calling for peace, he called for chocolate.
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope stunned the (mainly left footed) faithful during his Easter address today by announcing he is to marry his long time partner, former Right Said Fred frontman, Richard Fairbrass.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly married this weekend in a secret wedding somewhere in Africa. No details are known of the ceremony, except that the children that they have adopted from 167 different countries all served as bridesmaids, groomsm...
VATICAN CITY (UPI) - Rich countries such as the USA and Britain are bent on power and profit and are mercilessly plundering and sacking Iraq, Afghanistan and other poor regions of the world, Pope Benedict writes in his first book.
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope reassured many Catholics last night with a dramatically bauglerised rendition of the Stations of the Cross which is one of the Church's core Easter fantasy rituals.
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