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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Santa Claus Vacancy / JobCentre Plus

Santa Claus Vacancy / JobCentre Plus

Job Title FATHER CHRISTMAS / SANTA CLAUS Ref : ALU /62734 Location : Lapland based / Worldwide distribution network Hours : Christmas Eve : Dusk til dawn Wage : MEETS NATIONAL MINIMUM WAGE Work Pattern : Night shift Employer : Grotty Grottos Ltd Pension : ? Don't be silly Duration : One night per annum Description : As Father Christmas you will be r...

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Funny story: Hot Toys for Christmas

Hot Toys for Christmas

Representatives of the UK's major retail outlets gather this week for their annual toy fair at Birmingham's National Exhibition Centre. It's time to find out what will be the HOT 'must-have' toy to fill your sack this Christmas. The surprise succ...

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Funny story: Martian's not predicting a White Christmas

Martian's not predicting a White Christmas

Although Scientists have recently discovered Snow falling on Mars, it is believed that Martians are not holding out great hopes for a White Christmas this year. Maude Smith 45, from Mars told us: 'The weather looks so promising in early Autumn, an...

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Funny story: My Little Tony

My Little Tony

Sales of an action figure of former Prime Minister Tony Blair are said to be the big hit of this Christmas, for children, and credit-crunch affected adults. The figure, which is fully posable, with shifting eyes, and a four phrase vocabulary of 'L...

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Funny story: Did Sarah Palin Shoot a Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Did Sarah Palin Shoot a Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Did Sarah Palin shoot a certain red-nosed reindeer? Is this causing Christmas to be cancelled due to Santa being unable to guide his sleigh and being broken up at the killing of his beloved differently-abled pet? Rumors swirl that the reindeer was...

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Funny story: Two Million Bob Cratchetts and a Sea of Tiny Tims By Christmas!

Two Million Bob Cratchetts and a Sea of Tiny Tims By Christmas!

British economic pundits predict that the Ebenezer Scrooges of the UK business world will create two million Bob Cratchetts and a comparable number of Tiny Tims by Christmas. But an eleventh hour conversion and a last minute Christmas goose will n...

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Funny story: George Michael's Latest Final

George Michael's Latest Final

Gay pop phenomenon George Michael has just performed the first of two "final" concerts at Earls Court in London with a third "final" gig labelled as "The Final One" in Copenhagen. However, a consortium of fans of his 80's pop duo WHAM have gathered t...

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Funny story: UK Inflation Set To Spiral Madly Out Of Control - Could Ruin Xmas, Says Office of National Statistics

UK Inflation Set To Spiral Madly Out Of Control - Could Ruin Xmas, Says Office of National Statistics

Figures released today by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) suggest that much-feared inflation is set to spiral out of control, leaving many people "without a penny to scratch their arses with."

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Funny story: Christmaski 1990

Christmaski 1990

On Christmas morning of 1990 around 4 am, I opened every gift addressed to me before any other family members were awake. I arrived before the colossal Christmas tree, which looked dominating next to my grandmother who was snoring violently on the fold-out couch. My eyeballs were the size of dinner plates as I quietly rummaged around for the boxes that said 'To: Timmy.' Whether they wer...

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Funny story: A Sexless Christmas At Hogwarts

A Sexless Christmas At Hogwarts

It was Christmas time at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry and everyone was getting into the festive sprit. The grounds were covered in a layer of thick Hedwig white coloured snow and from every nook and cranny hung magical decorations.

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Funny story: Santa Lays off Thousands

Santa Lays off Thousands

Every year on Christmas I would run down the stairs and look under the tree and in my stockings for the presents from Santa. Little did I know where those toys came from back then, now I know that they came from the elves, but not any more.

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Funny story: Apocalypse

Apocalypse

I don't need to be a psychologist to understand how my mind functions. All I need is to differentiate amongst ' thinking', 'remembering', and 'mental pop-ups.' When I try, in vain, to understand the true nature of the present quagmire on earth I call this mental process 'thinking'. When I try to recall what I bought for my wife last year as Christmas present, I call it remembering! Next comes my...

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Funny story: UK's 1,000 ex-KGB Spooks to Spend Russian Orthodox Xmas in Slammer Say Cops

UK's 1,000 ex-KGB Spooks to Spend Russian Orthodox Xmas in Slammer Say Cops

London - (Bad Add Mess): Up to 1,000 of the UK's ex-KGB spooks 'who simply melted into the UK's New Labour Party' will spend their Russian Orthodox Xmas in the slammer according to the Met's top brass this weekend.

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Funny story: King David's list of top 11 well-intended gifts that, frankly, suck

King David's list of top 11 well-intended gifts that, frankly, suck

It was reported today that satirist and Spoofwriter, King David has compiled his 2007 Christmas list of top 11 gifts that frankly suck and topping the list this year is the Fissure Price Farmer Says talking toy.

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Funny story: Freebasing department store Santa jumps to his death without a parachute, believing he could fly like magic reindeer

Freebasing department store Santa jumps to his death without a parachute, believing he could fly like magic reindeer

Los Angeles, California - Tragedy occurred as a department store Santa leaped to his death from a building in downtown Los Angeles yesterday. It is believed the man was responding to ad in the local newspaper calling on free-base jumpers to gather th...

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Funny story: Three wise men depend on OnStar

Three wise men depend on OnStar

Three wise men were reported last night by the Jordanian Desert Patrol traveling east from Najd and the Arabian Peninsula on camels through the Syrian Dessert at pretty fast speeds.

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Funny story: Father of family lost in forest for 3 days went into "Survivor" mode; made decisions all parents fear in order to make a Christmas miracle happen

Father of family lost in forest for 3 days went into "Survivor" mode; made decisions all parents fear in order to make a Christmas miracle happen

Paradise, California - What parent has not had to face a strain on their purse strings and struggled to make toys their kids want so much appear under the tree a real Christmas miracle this year? Checking his wallet, Frederick Dominguez, father of t...

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