Pope Benedict XVI has canonised Brazil's first native-born saint, Friar Galvao, to the cheers of up to a million faithful and two million undecided but who like a good spectacle all the same, gathered in Sao Paulo.
Rome - (Ass Mess): Pope Ratiznger has gagged the name of a Holy Sea official who was fired after cocaine was found in his Vatican sauna room locker.
Pope Benedict's plans to revive the Latin Mass, which includes prayers for the conversion of Jews, is causing concern among Catholic and Jewish groups about relations between their faiths.
Catholics are always boasting about miracles and resurrections but none expected the ermine stole of Benedict xvi to begin squirming around the solemn pontiffuerer's neck at Quadriggesima Sunday mass! A week later while Papa Ratzy hugged and bles...
As the German Pontiffuhrer, Benedict 16 tries to rush the sainting of Pius XII, experts on the history of WWII and the Holocaust are asking tough questions about Pius' impious apathy toward the extermination of millions of Jews and Catholics.
(New Brunswick, NJ) -- A Jet-lagged and clearly lost or mislaid Angelina Jolie, UN Special Envoy for Children, Leather goods, & pushUP Bras admitted she was a "tad befuddled" by all the goings-on in New Jersey, North Carolina, and Darfur...
(Vatican City Internet Cafe) -- If I didn't believe this I wouldn't have believed it. His Holiness Pope Benedict XXVI is coming to Rutgers. President Bush is also coming to Rutgers. And Osama Bin Laden will also come to Rutgers.
The Pope has used his customary Easter address to call for world peace. However, as the masses nodded at the speech they've heard so many times, Pope Benedict shocked many when, straight after calling for peace, he called for chocolate.
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope stunned the (mainly left footed) faithful during his Easter address today by announcing he is to marry his long time partner, former Right Said Fred frontman, Richard Fairbrass.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly married this weekend in a secret wedding somewhere in Africa. No details are known of the ceremony, except that the children that they have adopted from 167 different countries all served as bridesmaids, groomsm...
VATICAN CITY (UPI) - Rich countries such as the USA and Britain are bent on power and profit and are mercilessly plundering and sacking Iraq, Afghanistan and other poor regions of the world, Pope Benedict writes in his first book.
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope reassured many Catholics last night with a dramatically bauglerised rendition of the Stations of the Cross which is one of the Church's core Easter fantasy rituals.
London - (Ass Press): The fast track canonisation process to declare Pope JP2 a saint took a dramatic twist into unknown territory as UK anti-terror cops asked that all-important celibacy question that the might have slipped the Vatican's mind:
Vatican City- Today the Pope was shocked to recieve a letter from the Wiccans who usually keep to themselves. He was even more shocked when he opened it. Inside was a single page with but one paragraph on it.
Vatican - (Ass Press): In a concerted equality drive with Pope JP2's sainthood bid Cliff Richard waded into the campaign today to have Pope Raztinger declared the world's Living God with a re-working of one of his most famous 1950s songs.
Even in the Roman Catholic Church, it can be "hard out their for a Pope" to be a Saint. A parade of Papas with syphilis, sons and silicone implants have failed the test for canonization. Even widely venerated Papa John-Paul Segundo (They ch...
Vatican - (ReUterus): Pope Ratzinger has told his weekly audience that he is facing eternal damnation and will be joining the likes of his predecessor Pope JP2, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ronald Reagan "and just about all the members of the Bu...
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