Cambridge - (As Mess): A team of Cambridge immunologists has come up with the unorthodox findings that smoking, overdoing alcohol, prescription drugs, cannabis and other narcotics such as cocaine and E tabs is directly linked to autism in children.
Atlanta, Georgia (Reuterus) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have isolated a 30-year-old man, who they believe has contracted a rare but nasty case of 'Tennis Elbow'.
The eighteenth instalment of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series will shock it's young fans critics are warning.
Harry Potter and the Elixir of Rave will show teen heart-throb Daniel Radcliffe's character 'up to his pimply neck in high quality drugs...
Islamabad - Al Qaida has announced that it will require drug testing for anyone who wants to join its organization. This move came after Al Qaida joined the Partnership For A Drugged Up Work Place.
Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Narcotics agents in Yolo County, California have arrested six people after impounding over five pounds of innovative sperm-flavor cocaine.
Psychiatrists at the University of Maryland have received FDA approval to begin clinical trials using a drug similar to MDMA, or Ecstacy as it is commonly known, for marriage counseling.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The "Internets" - President George W. Bush signed an order for the Drug Czar, John P. Walters, to crack down on hallucinogenic YouTube Videos.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - BEVERLY HILLS - A gold-plated gun and a pill bottle owned by Elvis Presley were auctioned off at the Beverly Hilton Hotel this weekend, as was a microphone used by the rock icon on the Louisiana Hayride in the 1950s.
Police officers pulled over a car on Wednesday night and as one of the officers approached the drivers side he notices the driver was choking on a baggie.
(Seattle, WA) Officer Mark Dairy remembers stopping a man jaywalking across a busy five-lane highway Tuesday, but he claims he blacked out shortly after approaching the suspect.
(Galesburg, IL) A resurgance in youths tagging cars with bumper stickers has returned to show support for five students denied their diplomas because of a cheering audience.
The War on Drugs has ended due to a lack of supply, according to a report from DBS News.
It's time to set the record straight, today's artists are not crazy, they are simply misunderstood. The public just cannot be expected to understand today's art without years of art education, drugs, hanging out with weirdos and intense therapy.
The US Supreme Court surprised the Bush Administration by declaring every day National Free Hug Day. The long awaited decision comes in the heels a controversial joint study by the CDC and
Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig announced today that Major League Baseball will abandon all drug testing and will allow athletes the use of any and all performance enhancing substances.
"The athletes are all doping up behind our backs anyway", Sel...
Scientists in Los Angeles have biologically engineered a new stimulant from sugar cane. The new drug called NovaCane should replace other products in this burgeoning area of consumerism. Marketing suggests that the so called 'Columbian Marching P...
American actor Sylvester Stallone was formally convicted in court for his smuggling of 48 bottles of illegal steroids into Australia in February. Stallone lied to customs officials about having a prescription for the medication that is illegal in bo...
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