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Funny story: Drug abuse during pregnancy and not MMR jab responsible for autism

Drug abuse during pregnancy and not MMR jab responsible for autism

Cambridge - (As Mess): A team of Cambridge immunologists has come up with the unorthodox findings that smoking, overdoing alcohol, prescription drugs, cannabis and other narcotics such as cocaine and E tabs is directly linked to autism in children.

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Funny story: Aggressive Case of Tennis Elbow may be Contagious and Drug-resistant

Aggressive Case of Tennis Elbow may be Contagious and Drug-resistant

Atlanta, Georgia (Reuterus) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have isolated a 30-year-old man, who they believe has contracted a rare but nasty case of 'Tennis Elbow'.

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Funny story: 'Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents

'Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents

The eighteenth instalment of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series will shock it's young fans critics are warning. Harry Potter and the Elixir of Rave will show teen heart-throb Daniel Radcliffe's character 'up to his pimply neck in high quality drugs...

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Funny story: Al Qaida To Begin Drug Testing Program For Members

Al Qaida To Begin Drug Testing Program For Members

Islamabad - Al Qaida has announced that it will require drug testing for anyone who wants to join its organization. This move came after Al Qaida joined the Partnership For A Drugged Up Work Place.

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Funny story: Sperm-flavored cocaine all the rage in LA

Sperm-flavored cocaine all the rage in LA

Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Narcotics agents in Yolo County, California have arrested six people after impounding over five pounds of innovative sperm-flavor cocaine.

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Funny story: FDA approves clinical trial using Ecstacy-like drug

FDA approves clinical trial using Ecstacy-like drug

Psychiatrists at the University of Maryland have received FDA approval to begin clinical trials using a drug similar to MDMA, or Ecstacy as it is commonly known, for marriage counseling.

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Funny story: George Bush Tells Drug Czar to Ban YouTube "Legal High" Videos

George Bush Tells Drug Czar to Ban YouTube "Legal High" Videos

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The "Internets" - President George W. Bush signed an order for the Drug Czar, John P. Walters, to crack down on hallucinogenic YouTube Videos.

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Funny story: Elvis' Pills Sold at Auction

Elvis' Pills Sold at Auction

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - BEVERLY HILLS - A gold-plated gun and a pill bottle owned by Elvis Presley were auctioned off at the Beverly Hilton Hotel this weekend, as was a microphone used by the rock icon on the Louisiana Hayride in the 1950s.

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Funny story: Man almost chokes on illegal drugs

Man almost chokes on illegal drugs

Police officers pulled over a car on Wednesday night and as one of the officers approached the drivers side he notices the driver was choking on a baggie.

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Funny story: Jaywalking suspect walks away with babbling officer's gun

Jaywalking suspect walks away with babbling officer's gun

(Seattle, WA) Officer Mark Dairy remembers stopping a man jaywalking across a busy five-lane highway Tuesday, but he claims he blacked out shortly after approaching the suspect.

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Funny story: Bumper sticker tagging supports students denied diplomas

Bumper sticker tagging supports students denied diplomas

(Galesburg, IL) A resurgance in youths tagging cars with bumper stickers has returned to show support for five students denied their diplomas because of a cheering audience.

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Funny story: War on Drugs Ends: Drug Supply Runs Out

War on Drugs Ends: Drug Supply Runs Out

The War on Drugs has ended due to a lack of supply, according to a report from DBS News.

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Funny story: Princess Poole's Page: Art Misunderstood

Princess Poole's Page: Art Misunderstood

It's time to set the record straight, today's artists are not crazy, they are simply misunderstood. The public just cannot be expected to understand today's art without years of art education, drugs, hanging out with weirdos and intense therapy.

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Funny story: Ecstasy, Hugs and the War on Drugs

Ecstasy, Hugs and the War on Drugs

The US Supreme Court surprised the Bush Administration by declaring every day National Free Hug Day. The long awaited decision comes in the heels a controversial joint study by the CDC and

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Funny story: Steroids to be Allowed for MLB Players

Steroids to be Allowed for MLB Players

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig announced today that Major League Baseball will abandon all drug testing and will allow athletes the use of any and all performance enhancing substances. "The athletes are all doping up behind our backs anyway", Sel...

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Funny story: NovaCane - the new wonder drug.

NovaCane - the new wonder drug.

Scientists in Los Angeles have biologically engineered a new stimulant from sugar cane. The new drug called NovaCane should replace other products in this burgeoning area of consumerism. Marketing suggests that the so called 'Columbian Marching P...

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Funny story: Stallone Convicted in Australian Steroid Drug Smuggling Case

Stallone Convicted in Australian Steroid Drug Smuggling Case

American actor Sylvester Stallone was formally convicted in court for his smuggling of 48 bottles of illegal steroids into Australia in February. Stallone lied to customs officials about having a prescription for the medication that is illegal in bo...

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