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Funny story: Health claims dismissed - worms not good for you after all

Health claims dismissed - worms not good for you after all

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - General health claims for "earthworm" apples and meats have been dismissed by a team of experts from the European Union. Their 'opinions', based on corporate profit sheets, will now be voted on by an EU Committee which is dra...

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Funny story: Speedier test for cancer in healthcare plan now

Speedier test for cancer in healthcare plan now

WASHINGTON DC - Granny get your best dress on. This is your big night out, maybe your last night out. The new healthcare plan now includes a speedy test for cancer, and summary judgment for old folks who have a terminal case of it. According to...

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Funny story: Won't somebody think of the children?!

Won't somebody think of the children?!

According to a recent report from Plan International, thousands of children worldwide are working on tobacco farms and because of it are suffering from toxic levels of nicotine exposure. Handling tobacco leaves without gloves, the children can ab...

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Funny story: Health and Fitness - New Book - Exercises to do while taking a dump.

Health and Fitness - New Book - Exercises to do while taking a dump.

The new book by health guru Helen Strainhard is proving to be very popular with executives who simply are too busy to take exercise during the day. The book titled "Shitting is fitting" explains that using the toilet is often just a waste time. When...

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Funny story: Cigarette Company is sued for man's suicide attempts

Cigarette Company is sued for man's suicide attempts

Another nail in the coughing has been hammered into a major cigarette company by a man who attempted to commit suicide by smoking himself to death. Mr. Havalight, 59, is to sue Balsam and Bushes for one million pounds for wrongful advertising and...

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Funny story: Smoking less harmful than crossing the road: New report

Smoking less harmful than crossing the road: New report

A new World Health Association report states that you are more likely to die from crossing the road than smoking regularly. This shock announcement has sent tobacco shares soaring and there is even speculation that smoking may be allowed back in...

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Funny story: "Breathing in" can make you ill

"Breathing in" can make you ill

Breathing in may be bad for your health according to UK scientists, who have shown that breathing in can result in lungs being filled with potentially harmful bacteria. Test revealed that that air harbours any number of airborne bacteria and spore...

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Funny story: Fried Butter Added to Food Pyramid: Starlets Rejoice

Fried Butter Added to Food Pyramid: Starlets Rejoice

In a story likely to reach into the very hearts of America and beyond, the Federal Nutrition Council today added fried butter to the food pyramid. Following its introduction at the prestigious foodie event, The Texas State Fair, experts declared the...

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Funny story: Swine Flu to Infect 9 Billion

Swine Flu to Infect 9 Billion

Washington, DC - Epidemiologists working for the CDC have predicted that over 9 billion people will be infected this year alone by the H1N1 virus. Using computer models and sophisticated prediction methods, researchers have concluded that the number...

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Funny story: Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Durham, NC - Relief is coming for those who have always wanted to drink from an ashtray. Researchers at the Institute for Tobacco Studies announced the creation of a cigarette flavoring that can be added to coffee drinks. John Bloom of the ITS sa...

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Funny story: On the verge of epidemic

On the verge of epidemic

Warm, moist environments have forever attracted fungal growth, and modern households often provide the perfect environments for a variety of unwanted flora. Many fungal infections that afflict humans are prevented by good bacteria that naturally l...

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Funny story: National Health Service Bought By America

National Health Service Bought By America

President Obama has triumphantly announced the purchase of the British National Health Service for immediate transfer across the pond. Advance elements of NHS shock troops will land in Chesapeake Bay next Tuesday, provided that it is not a Bank Ho...

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Funny story: High School Musical linked to new disease

High School Musical linked to new disease

Adolescents the world over, when they aren't stealing hooded tops, snorting alcopops and bumming Grannies, are huge fans of High School Musical. My own feckless brood can often be found staring slack-jawed at the TV marvelling at the antics of gr...

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Funny story: Health Care Screamers Swamp ERs

Health Care Screamers Swamp ERs

Emergency Rooms are treating a brand new ailment-one they have temporarily dubbed "Town Hall Throat" - a painful condition brought on by the crescendo of choreographed Town Hall screaming by opponents of health care reform. "Our ER admissions fo...

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Funny story: Fear for state pensions drive UK/US Governments to reverse smoking bans and encourages "SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE till you drop!"

Fear for state pensions drive UK/US Governments to reverse smoking bans and encourages "SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE till you drop!"

After recent announcements pertaining to a future "black hole" in pension funds the US/UK have reversed their smoking bans in public places, encouraging the whole world to follow suit and SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE and more f*****g SMOKE TILL YOU DROP! I...

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Funny story: Historically Accurate Tactics Used to Shape Health Care Debate

Historically Accurate Tactics Used to Shape Health Care Debate

As an homage to the Brown Shirts of yore, die-hard opponents of health care for all Americans are attempting to dominate the debate through the time honored tactics of out-shouting, intimidation and purchasing tea bags. Kudos to them. Using comple...

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Funny story: Government: Personal Space 'Kissing Ban' Imminent

Government: Personal Space 'Kissing Ban' Imminent

The UK Government has announced a new set of safety rules designed to combat the spread of Swine Flu. From Monday 17th August it will be an offence under emergency health legislation to kiss, hug or hold hands with another person in a public place.

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