WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration turned up the heat on Burger Kingdom's fast food empire today and ordered a massive recall after 1.2 million patties the company intended to flame broil turned out to be 100% flame retardant Angus b...
A small study by psychologists from the United States, Switzerland and Germany showed that warnings unrelated to death were more effective in changing smokers' attitudes toward their habit. "In general, when smokers are faced with death-related an...
Public health authorities around the world are warning the public not to use 'hand sanitizer' lotions which advertise protection from illness. 'It's bad enough that hand sanitizers offer people a false sense of security', said Bertram Beecham of t...
LONDON: Scientists have made an amazing discovery regarding myrrh - one of the gifts given to the Baby Jesus by the 3 Wise Men. Myrrh, it seems was not just used as an embalming fluid in ancient times. It also played an important role in lowering...
The nursing profession was today in crisis after revelations that biscuit consumption has surpassed "danger" and is now at "crisis" level In a report issued today, it has been revealed that the mean estimated hip size of nurses is now a worrying 6...
Washington, D.C. - Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) and Senator Richard Burr (R-NC) were both hospitalized this week for health complications tied to the Seante health care bill. Senator Reed suffered a back injury lifting the 2,000 page bill and Burr suffer...
A new report from the Surgeon Colonel is that they have completed a major study that links breathing to Pinworms Disease. "It's almost 100%", stated S.G. to this reporter. "Two in the study have disappeared and we can't find them, but 100% of the...
(Defecated News) Old Labour back in the day when they were socialists, created the NHS as a fair way to allow poor lazy people to get free treatment off the back of hard-working tax-payers. It worked well. The poor sponged off the state and got every...
The AGW Anthropogenic Global Warming or Human Induced Climate Change virus was first isolated in a lab at the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Nowhere. The AGW virus can be recognized by the following signature - valadj=[0.,0.,0.
Scientist, and man who know's what it's about, Dr Angram Philchpott has categorically stated, so it must be true, that certain things that at first were thought bad are infact good for you. Things like smoking, which are generally accepted to be f...
Alabama - A man who had recently won a multi-state lottery faked being in a coma for 2 years to see who was worthy of being included in his will. Ricky Ray Rayfield woke up after 2 years of hospitalization to the relief and horror of his famil...
The delay of the Senate Health Care Bill Vote has puzzled many Americans. Citizens wonder when they will know if a new government run health care system will provide America with much needed relief. A report out of the White House early Wednesday mor...
In a shocking twist that is contrary to what the public has been saying for years, a new study released by the U.N. Department of Health has shown that laughter is not the best medicine. The study originated after three United Nations health worke...
There was bedlam last night in the US House of Representatives when the history making health care bill was passed. As Democrats,for the most part,cheered and high fived,the Republicans with red faces... jeered, grumbled, yelled, a few cried and seve...
Knockbridge,TN.-Homesteaders in this small Appalachian town got a welcome surprise this weekend when copies of the 1990 page Health Care Reform Bill started arriving at homes across the country via the delivery service, Federal Distress. "Woo wee!...
Washington DC -The Majority Leader of the Senate, Hairy D. Weed of Los Vegas, stated to my secret Senate source that his healthcare bill would include the "pubic option." The provision would allow the federal government to legislate the mandatory...
US President Barack Obama has declared the common cold a national emergency. The President signed the Taking Ourselves 2 Seriously proclamation at a jousting tournament in Washington DC last Friday, wearing a crown and surrounded by knights and serva...
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