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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Happy Hannukmass Chrismakah

Happy Hannukmass Chrismakah

Jewish groups are alternately outraged and amused by an invitation issued by the White House for a Hanukkah reception: the printed card features a painting of the White House Christmas tree being delivered as the President and Laura kiss under the mi...

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Funny story: Michael Caine says he "doesn't give a Bloody F*ck" what he gets for Christmas

Michael Caine says he "doesn't give a Bloody F*ck" what he gets for Christmas

British thespian Sir Michael Caine has told his cat that he doesn't give a bloody fuck what he gets for Christmas this year. The celebrated Oscar winner made the abrupt statement while having a shit in the cats food bowl. Caine - star of such f...

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Funny story: Santa Claus To Congress: "One Trillion Dollars Or No Christmas."

Santa Claus To Congress: "One Trillion Dollars Or No Christmas."

(Washington, D.C.) In the CEO Gulfstream jet wake of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler returning to Congress in search of a 34 billion-dollar bailout, a sleigh with a vanity license plate that read simply "S. Claus" touched down in front of the Capit...

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Funny story: Live Baby Found in Manger

Live Baby Found in Manger

Bethleheim, Germany - A parish priest was shocked to find a live baby boy in the manger of his church's Christmas nativity scene today. Father Visual Halle-Lucinations made the shocking discovery in the early hours of the morning as he entered St...

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Funny story: Teens Hot To Trot For Xmas Bonking Bonanza

Teens Hot To Trot For Xmas Bonking Bonanza

Research by some researchers today concluded that teens were planning a veritable bonkfest over the Xmas holiday period. It seems that most teens these days arrange their sexual exploits around significant dates, such as Xmas, Easter, Halloween, t...

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Funny story: New wave of 'Je-hobo' witnesses terrorise Port Flangey

New wave of 'Je-hobo' witnesses terrorise Port Flangey

With the continuing decline of religous interest and the increasing hostility towards 'Our friends of the Lord' in Britain, a new wave of radical Jehovah witnesses are getting their own back on the small town of Port Flangey, South Wales. Reports...

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Funny story: Son Attacks Dad With Christmas Tree

Son Attacks Dad With Christmas Tree

Police say a Florida man who lives with his parents has been charged with attacking his father with a Christmas tree and its metal stand. According to the Manatee County sheriff's report, 37-year-old Thomas Edward Backie was arrested and charged...

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Funny story: Santa Claus asks Congress for Christmas Bailout

Santa Claus asks Congress for Christmas Bailout

Washington D.C. Visitors to the nation's capitol were treated to an unusual sight Wednesday morning as an airborne sleigh powered by eight tiny reindeer and piloted by a short bearded fat man in a red suit landed on the roof the Capitol building.

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Funny story: Santa Warned By Health And Safety Executive - Christmas Expected To Drag On For Months

Santa Warned By Health And Safety Executive - Christmas Expected To Drag On For Months

The Health And Safety Executive today issued a stern warning to Santa Claus, to the effect that that he must desist from utilising unsafe practices whilst conducting his annual present delivering bonanza. 'We're not having him driving his sleigh t...

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Funny story: Claus plc. in receivership

Claus plc. in receivership

After several days of uncertainty, Claus plc. was today in the hands of receivers D'Toilette and Down. The UK institution with it's iconic Father Christmas brand appears to be well and truly stuffed. Dating back to the 1920's Claus was set up in the...

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Funny story: Santa's Elves are Stupid Little Bastards

Santa's Elves are Stupid Little Bastards

It's official! Santa Claus' North Pole elf workers are a bunch of stupid little annoying bastards. The miniature freaks toil all day and night in cramped workshops in sub-zero temperatures for the Christmas season but still find time to appear in Sa...

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Funny story: Lapland Park Scam a Huge Rip-off

Lapland Park Scam a Huge Rip-off

A newly-opened 'Winter Wonderland' theme park has been described as a 'joke' and a 'scam' by thousands of angry visitors. Many people have demanded a refund of the £25 they paid to enter the Smegmadale Forest Lapland Leisure Park on the Hampshire...

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Funny story: Brand-New Forest Winter Wonderland A Bit Of A Let Down

Brand-New Forest Winter Wonderland A Bit Of A Let Down

It promised it all on its official website, Hollywood style special effects, Santa, Reindeer, sleighs, snow, magic for the kiddies, gift shops, catering facilities, no queues, log cabins, elves, and hours of unbridled xmas joy for cash strapped famil...

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Funny story: Santa Claus says he's not coming to Little Jimmy Brennan's House this Year

Santa Claus says he's not coming to Little Jimmy Brennan's House this Year

Jolly old Santa has issued an internal memo to his staff in Lapland to not bother putting any presents in the sleigh for little Jimmy Brennan this year. It's believed the issue is related to an incident last Christmas in which 'someone' left a poo...

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Funny story: Re-invented Amy Back on Stage.

Re-invented Amy Back on Stage.

Homely Amy Winehouse is to star in this years Blackpool Tower's production of Aladdin. In an inspired coup for the resort, Amy has leapt at an offer to play "Widow Twankey" in the flying carpet/magic lamp romp, this season's star studded Christmas...

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Funny story: Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'

Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'

Washington D.C Kwanzaa will be celebrated in the new 'multi-colored' house next year. In keeping with his theme throughout his campaign, that 'change is coming', President -elect Barack Obama announced change yesterday. Kwanzaa will be celebrated in...

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Funny story: Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

St Nicholas, the jovial and benevolent bearer of Christmas gifts died when his custom-made sleigh collided with a Jumbo Jet just outside the North Pole, newly-impoverished parents reported to their children yesterday. The man more commonly known a...

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