Bogota - (AssoCIAted Mess): Russian Secret Service cocaine smugglers scuttled yet another of their Bloodyvostock-engineered Barrakuda-class submarines off Colombia's Pacific coast today blaming uneven freight distribution that caused the...
The entertainment world was shocked to hear that Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant and now it turns out that they are to be shocked once again with the startling revelation that her sister Britney secretly impregnated her
London - (Narcotic Mess): The MoD has said that it regularly weeds out freelance drug-dealers poaching on its hard-won turf.
BOSTON - After 20 months of sniffing around the fetid locker rooms of major league baseball, George Mitchell did more than just uncover the use of steroids among some of baseball's greatest star players.
Police in New York City were called the scene of a bizarre domestic incident involving Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani and his doped-up pet pony, Miss Pretty.
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - For years, parents have believed what they were giving their children for breakfast were completely innocent, nutritious, and healthy, sugar-laden cereals. Anti-drug activists, however, have revealed that those naive parents were...
A drug company has announced today that it will be releasing to the market the new drug Driagra to cure temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostate region, a condition more commonly known as Massive Sperm Buildup (MSB) or Blue Balls.
Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson is to get a once off Holiday special TV talk show where he interviews friends while under the influence of narcotics.
This week beings the biggest sporting event since the "pass the parcel world championships" in August. Sources say that a record number of alcohol and drugs will be consumed throughout this prestigious event including Jim Bowen's favour...
Former Wimbledon champion Martina Hingis officially announced her retirement from tennis after her original and back up samples from this year's tournament tested positive for cocaine. She stated that the long suspension time and legal battles t...
Buckingham Palace, London: (Constitutional Mess): A sex, drugs and blackmail plot to oust the Puppet Monarch has resulted in a dawn raid on a Buckingham Palace crack den according to police reports.
NEW YORK, NY -- A pharmaceutical giant made an announcement earlier today that will likely change history.
Cricklewood, London - (Rotters): Nobel prize winner Doris Lessing played a blinder this week accepting the prestigious literature gong for a lifetime of humbug and denial about some murky DNA secrets lurking in her personal closet.
London - (Narcotic Mess): A depraved and reckless German aristocratic count (sic) died from a massive cocaine overdose according to a London coroner's inquest today.
Washington (IP) - The ACLU is filing a law suit against the US government for forcing deportees to take drugs.
South Bank, London - (Conceptual Mess): Colombian sculptor Doris Salcedo has filled a hole in the Tate Modern gallery with 167 metres of crack.
International drugs smuggler Rud Gudd is in custody today after he was caught bringing large quantities of cocaine into Britain. The drug was hidden in the 35 year old Gudd's hair, where it was resembled nothing more than a chronic case of dandru...
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