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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Flossing "is like death"

Flossing "is like death"

A new study out today concludes that the nearest experience humans have to death is the act of flossing. The feelings of futility, angst and despair it provokes can only be matched in power by the total mental and physical shutdown the body experien...

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Funny story: Avram Grants' Coat Dies

Avram Grants' Coat Dies

Chelsea Manager Avram Grant was unavailable for comment tonight after the sudden death of his beloved black overcoat, Alan.

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Funny story: Cost Of Living Goes Up, Cost Of Dying Goes Up More

Cost Of Living Goes Up, Cost Of Dying Goes Up More

Never mind moaning about the cost of living, the cost of dying is set to soar!...

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Funny story: Thought For The Day With Tony Blair

Thought For The Day With Tony Blair

When I heard yesterday of the death of boogie-woogie jazz pianist Oscar Peterson, it brought to mind the words attributed to Thomas More in Bolt's play "A Man for All Seasons", when he was threatened with that imposter death by the Duke of Norfolk. "Death comes for us all my Lords, yes even for kings he comes." And I thought: "Yo, even for the maharaja mutha of the key...

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Funny story: Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed

Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed

Paris -- There has always been a lot of controversy around the death of rock and roll legend Jim Morrison. The lead singer of the Doors died in a Paris Flat in July of 1971. The story of mystery signatures on his death certificate and his manager b...

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Funny story: Terrorism Alert Hits Earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck Comments

Terrorism Alert Hits Earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck Comments

Walgreens will be warning investors of a sizable continuing write-off to be charged against this quarter's earnings to urgently implement a counter-terrorism surveillance system into its 6059 stores nationwide.

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Funny story: How To Handle Being Panhandled

How To Handle Being Panhandled

How many times, on average, do you get panhandled in a year? Outside Seven Eleven's, churches, bus stops, pay toilets, you name a public gathering spot and chances are you have been shaken down by a nice homeless person several times this past week. How do you handle this without being rude or being beaten to death?...

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Funny story: Acupuncture Proven to Relieve the Suffering of the Dead

Acupuncture Proven to Relieve the Suffering of the Dead

A study at the University of Springfield at Piermont (USAP) has conclusively shown that acupuncture can help the dead every bit as much as it does the living.

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Funny story: (Old News) Strong Growth in Effigy Sector Spurs 2005 GDP

(Old News) Strong Growth in Effigy Sector Spurs 2005 GDP

Washington D.C. -- The United States Bureau of Commerce released 2005 GDP figures today revealing the highs and lows of today's volatile economy.

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Funny story: Study shows: Grape Eaters May Die

Study shows: Grape Eaters May Die

A landmark study by the Association of National Medical Doctors, in conjunction with the the medical journal "The Syringe," says grape eaters face a higher risk of death.

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Funny story: Boris Johnson - Death of a Hero

Boris Johnson - Death of a Hero

Earlier this week, it was announced that Boris Johnson is the comedy pseudonym of funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen. The news that Boris is not a real person has been a devastating blow to millions of people across the country, who loved his sharp, intellectual wit, his "no nonsense" approach about saying wha...

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Funny story: Pixar to remake Asian body Shocker

Pixar to remake Asian body Shocker

"Toy Story" makers Pixar are to do an animated remake of the banned Korean horror "Mother Death"...

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Funny story: US Government Forbids Souls From Leaving The Bodies

US Government Forbids Souls From Leaving The Bodies

In response to China's actions against reincarnation, President Bush gushed with apprehension from lessons learned about inadequate responses, like during 9/11 and Katrina. This compassionate leader understood the importance of keeping-up-with th...

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Funny story: Dead man found in graveyard

Dead man found in graveyard

A dead man has been arrested by police in Cheshire for loitering with intent in a graveyard near to where he died seven months ago.

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Funny story: Peter Fox held for murder

Peter Fox held for murder

(Hollywood, CA) Peter Fox, co-star on the popular FoxTrot Sunday comic strip, is being held on $1 million bond in the death of younger brother Jason.

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Funny story: Dead Loved Ones - Preserved In Pasty Form.

Dead Loved Ones - Preserved In Pasty Form.

LONDON (Defecated News) - A Cornish pasty-making factory and national undertaker have teamed up to provide a sensitive yet alternative service for people.

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Funny story: Hair Dryers Can Kill

Hair Dryers Can Kill

Croydon, Saaf London (Defecated News) - In a recent independent study, a scientist has hypothesized that in theory, hair dryers can kill you, and me - possibly.

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