SAN DIEGO, CA (AP Newsliar) -- Gorillas and chimpanzees broke a decades long silence today to voice their chagrin at having lost the space race to humans.
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The cult that left Earth and joined the comet Hale-Bopp in its journey trough the solar system has returned to a position near the Earth. The comet has been placed into a neutral zone in cislunar orbit.
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Scientist at this astronomical campus have discovered that the giant galaxies that populate the universe have a singular purpose. The galaxies are actually a giant drainage system where matter and energy flows "...
Mount Palomar, Ca (IP) - News from this observatory campus indicates that the planets Jupiter and Saturn are breaking up.
The world stared in awe today at the two lastest space-beings that have come to make their home in LA, Calif. The "odd couple" as they have been described, arrived in a blaze of media hype.
A chance viewing of a negative photograph of the Milky Way has led to one expert in Astronomy claiming that in reality it is just an ink blot in reverse.
A UFO that hovered over the West Midlands towns of Oldbury and Dudley at the weekend, caused havoc on the roads in the area, and widespread panic back on its home planet!...
Today (EST)--Europa News-- The European Space Agency is calling for guinea pigs to take part in a trip to Mars.
NASHA: In what would be one of a kind, the NASHA space research centre announced at a press conference that they are planning to send a group of humans to the sun to study its topography.
A computer glitch has placed the International Space Station in jeopardy. Talk is that the multi-billion dollar project may have to be abandoned. Before jumping ship, maybe they should try dialing up Earthlink and experience the anguish of waiting on hold for an hour, finally getting a human being working out of Manila, - speaking with an indistinguishable accent - endure the torture of switching...
Pasadena, California - Today a unit of undetermined strength from the 101st Airborne Division was dropped in the hills over looking the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California. Taking employees and nearby residents alike by surprise,...
Pasadena, California - Among his first attempts to acknowledge global warming before the G8 meeting in Europe, President Bush signed executive order 2010 ordering the return of all Jet Propulsion Libratory (JPL) deep space probes back to earth to hel...
Chimpanzees liberated from Los Angeles sweatshop computer spamming have been going apes over news coverage of their kin's revolt at Hardly University.
The apes at Hardly escaped and have been planning to launch a spacecraft, raising concerns from...
Backwater, TN - Aliens from the planet ~Frdcfvbflbmt! today admitted a massive mistake when they accidentally inserted a standard-issue redneck anal probe into a host's mouth.
"If you put a thousand monkeys in a room with typewriters, they will by chance eventually type the Encyclopedia Britannica," the old saying goes. But leave a thousand monkeys in a room full of computers and you get rocket science.
The truth about the mystery of crop circles is out. For we can reveal that they have nothing to do with extra-terrestrial visitors but more to do with a group of pole dancers from Gloucester.
DEATH STAR (Galactic Press) -- What he first identified as a "disturbance in the Force" turned out to be nothing but gas, a sheepish Darth Vader admitted yesterday afternoon.
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