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Funny satire stories about Police

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Funny story: "Touchdown Jesus" Slain While Seeking Medical Attention

"Touchdown Jesus" Slain While Seeking Medical Attention

After an hours-long standoff outside a hospital in Southwestern Ohio, it appears that the much beloved icon "Touchdown Jesus" has died from wounds inflicted by local police and sheriffs' deputies, as well as a National Guard unit that was called to t...

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Funny story: Sh*t - That'll Cost You 100 Dollars!

Sh*t - That'll Cost You 100 Dollars!

Queensland, one of the many State's in Australia is to introduce a no-swearing policy, with on the spot fines of 100 dollars - F*ck! (That's 100 dollars, thanks) The bold move comes as the Queensland Government looks at ways to clean the air space...

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Funny story: Sheriff's SB 1070 Enforcement Plan To Include "Amnesty"

Sheriff's SB 1070 Enforcement Plan To Include "Amnesty"

PHOENIX AZ (AP) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio held a press conference yesterday to introduce his three step enforcement plan for the controversial new law known as Senate Bill 1070. In addition to defining planned measures to identify undocument...

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Funny story: Qualified Policing Professionals - Wanted in Canada. Job Security Ensured

Qualified Policing Professionals - Wanted in Canada. Job Security Ensured

According to the latest news regarding job opportunities: "Demand for Qualified Policing Professionals According to Job Futures Canada the retirement rate among Policing Careers is higher than average. That means great opportunities for talented new recruits! There is currently a 0% unemployment rate for qualified Police Professionals in this country. As a trained Police Officer you'll be ab...

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Funny story: Derrick Bird Killings "Weren't Random" Say Police

Derrick Bird Killings "Weren't Random" Say Police

Police today confirmed that Cumbria gun killer Derrick Bird in fact selected his victims "with care". Bird, who is said to be resting this weekend after a draining day on Wednesday, apparently sent out a questionnaire to prospective victims the week...

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Funny story: Government Launches Justice Lottery

Government Launches Justice Lottery

In a bid to reduce public expenditure and raise funds, Justice Secretary Ken Clark has announced a new justice lottery. In a speech at Westminster on Tuesday, Clark told MPs that the new system would be quicker and fairer for everybody. He reveale...

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Funny story: Plastic Policemen/women needed, Takwana Smith & Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet are applying

Plastic Policemen/women needed, Takwana Smith & Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet are applying

The Police Force in England is much undermanned, or underwomened. Too many civilians and not enough 'plods on the beat' shall we say, according to the news. Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, recently in the news...

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Funny story: Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

After only 31 years, a police report has been issued which states that protestor Blair Peach may have been killed by a policeman. 'This has come as an absolute shock,' a friend of the New Zealander's said. 'No one could even have guessed that. ' S...

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Funny story: Cops catch bad guy by the balls

Cops catch bad guy by the balls

In a joint operation Seattle Police and the FBI have arrested super Ponzi scheme perpetrator Jeremy Sandcastle by GPS tracking his testes. The FBI got the first break when a federally approved wiretap caught an interesting call between Sandcastle a...

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Funny story: Police Follow up on a Missing Person in the Averted Natural Gas Explosion

Police Follow up on a Missing Person in the Averted Natural Gas Explosion

San Francisco CA: Police officers were once again called to a parking garage in the 2700 block of Lombard Street in the early morning hours of April 13, 2010. The parking garage manager had called 911 saying "his parking lot attendant was missing."...

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Funny story: Police Need Your Help

Police Need Your Help

In the nation's capital, Washington DC, as in other urban death zones like Detroit and Chicago, police are at war with guns. In D-C alone, there are gun murders everyday but, there has been a recent rash of shootings that have cops focused on one rea...

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Funny story: Thai Police Adopt A Monkey

Thai Police Adopt A Monkey

Police in the southern Thai province of Yala have adopted a pig-faced macaque monkey named Apetrees in an attempt to improve relations with the predominantly Muslim - and invariably upset about something or other - public. Police Chief Hitmay Wiv...

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Funny story: Uma Thurman in tears as ITV have Killed Bill

Uma Thurman in tears as ITV have Killed Bill

Uma Thurman was in tears last night firstly she discovered that only one person turned up to see her new Movie Motherhood, at the Apollo cinema in London's West End,then she found out that ITV have killed Bill. The Bill the popular police series w...

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Funny story: Woman drinking fizzy orange Tango'd by police officer

Woman drinking fizzy orange Tango'd by police officer

A police sergeant at the G20 protests in London hit a woman who was holding an orange fizzy drink, twice with his steel baton because he thought the woman was a threat. The woman had just taken a drink of her orange fizzy drink,when she was sudde...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson pissed as a newt

Robert Pattinson pissed as a newt

Robert Pattinson the young star of that vampire Movie, Twilight, got totally pissed yesterday after drinking far to much while partying to celebrate his new Movie REMEMBER ME. Outside the Ivy Club in London at Twilight Pattinson was being helped b...

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Funny story: UK drug problem worse than ever

UK drug problem worse than ever

The controlled drug problem facing UK Police is getting steadily worse says a spokesperson. "We are seeing an average of one new drug a week hitting the towns and cities and we believe farmers are to blame!" When we asked for evidence to support his...

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Funny story: Lithuanien assaults female police officer with his "Dick", she thought it was her "truncheon"!

Lithuanien assaults female police officer with his "Dick", she thought it was her "truncheon"!

A drunken, rather largely built Lithuanien, has assaulted a female police officer with his "Dick" (penis in oxford English). The assault happened after police were called to an address where loud music, raucous behaviour and mega-boozing was takin...

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