Oliver Letwin - the Minister of State at Cabinet Office, Policy, in David Cameron's new Con-Lib Coalition Cabinet, is quite happy to take the 5% pay cut imposed on the Cabinet by the new Prime Minister, writes Westminster Editor James Ivory Merchant.
After the smiles came the cuts. And none bigger than the cut to the Olympic budget. The new Coalition Government has wasted no time in making cuts to public expenditure. The Olympics were won at a considerable cost to the nation. Now George Osbour...
Nigerian political powerbroker James Ibori has reportedly been freed on bail in Dubai, where he was arrested on corruption charges, pending his acceptance of a position in the new British coalition Cabinet: Chancellor of the Exchequer. The former...
The hilarious new Mick & Dave show has opened to rave reviews in the West End of London and they plan to take it on a nationwide tour this summer. The pair teamed up at the last minute after the two major shows they'd been tirelessly working o...
Many people may be confused about the British Government. Here we provide a cut out and keep guide to the new cabinet. Prime Minister: Lord Snooty. Old Etonian, Bullingdon Club, champagne swilling Dave the Rave. Likes beating servants and toasting crumpets on teenage boys. Deputy Prime Minister: Nick Fagg. Promises to do whatever Lord Snooty says in return for a chance to pretend to be the P...
A crowd of reporters were in Downing Street this morning after a microphone stand, left in the road last night by the Prime Minister and later reported stolen, was mysteriously returned by a plain-clothed policeman. But reporters hoping to catch...
Money markets around the world were rocked this morning after newly crowned Prime Minister David Cameron and his Chancellor, George Osborne, were revealed to be missing. They were last seen just after the outgoing Chancellor and former comedian, S...
In a surprise move, the Labour Party today unveiled Lord Heehaw as its new leader. According to political commentators, this is the first time for at least two hours that the Labour Party has been headed by an ass. Lord Heehaw, who stood in the...
The British Public have decided to form their own Government, following the protracted discussions of the 'professional' politicians. Mrs Eileen Morris of number 17 Salcombe Avenue decided to pop round to see the Queen earlier today. "I said 'Yoo...
The UK will breathe a massive sigh of relief at the news that the Rt. Hon. G.Brown is about to quit as Prime Minister and leader of the Labour Party. Street parties are being set up and thousands of loyal Labour supporters are requesting that the...
For hundreds of years the constitutional monarchy of the United Kingdom has held firm lacking in either a set constitution or a cognisant monarchy. It has been a peaceful accord held together by ancient laws as convoluted as they are redundant. Tha...
A leaked Vatican email has left Foreign Office officials incensed after suggesting that the Pope should flip his second home whilst on a visit to Britain, the Daily Torygraph revealed today. Called "The Ideal Visit", the document was believed to b...
Question...what is the reward for voting labour? Answer... a minimum of nine bins and an alien for a neighbour. The idiots running Great Britain from the European parliament are at it again forcing daft Brits to toe their increasingly ridiculous line or face huge fines for putting too much shit in the landfill sites. But what about the mountain of doggy crap currently being deposited in lamp an...
War Cabinet Rooms, LONDON: Gordon Brown has been holding crisis talks at emergency Cobra Meetings in Downing Street. The Country has been put on a war footing against Volcanic dust clouds. With the Department for Transport and the Secretary of S...
Brown : In all my time in politics, My friends will all agree I never dodge the issue I say just what I see. That's why I tell you firmly (It's what I've always said) The past is now behind us The future lies ahead. All together: Politics, quick fix, old dogs new tricks, Spend, spend, spend, I'm everyone's friend. I spin, he spins, we spin, sweep in - No matter what you choose, we wi...
The Green Party has today begun campaigning ahead of the forthcoming general election in May. They got off to rather a slow start as power-saving measures at head office prevented the news from reaching them. Today they finally received a carrier pig...
Gordon Brown, who has the smallest penis in political history, today described his fears that a well-hung Tory government would outsize him in a dick measuring contest. He stated that if neither party could produce the goods when it mattered, pol...
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