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Funny story: World Health Organization Warns of Looming Jenken Abuse Epidemic in US

World Health Organization Warns of Looming Jenken Abuse Epidemic in US

WASHINGTON, DC -- While addressing a meeting of the Office of Drug Control Policy (ODCP), health specialist Jacqui Chan warned of a potential epidemic of abusing what she called the next meth or crack cocaine, jenken.

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Funny story: Jesus slams his "dead-beat dad" GOD on Rikki Lake Show

Jesus slams his "dead-beat dad" GOD on Rikki Lake Show

A pre-recorded episode of the often controversial Rikki Lake Show featuring Jesus Christ confronting God is due to air early next week.

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Funny story: New strain Skunk cuts emissions by 2000%: study

New strain Skunk cuts emissions by 2000%: study

National Poisons Unit, Aldermaston - (Ludicrous Mess): A new strain of eco-friendly weed variant of super-strength quick-grow skunk cannabis has been found to have drastically lower CO2 emissions compared to average cannabis sativa products according...

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Funny story: New Anti Depression Drug Causes Depression

New Anti Depression Drug Causes Depression

YupTup Utah - Walcolm Inc., the worlds largest drug manufacturer, has produced a drug that fights depression or can cause depression.

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Funny story: Yet another Russian coke sub sinks off Colombia

Yet another Russian coke sub sinks off Colombia

Bogota - (AssoCIAted Mess): Russian Secret Service cocaine smugglers scuttled yet another of their Bloodyvostock-engineered Barrakuda-class submarines off Colombia's Pacific coast today blaming uneven freight distribution that caused the...

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Funny story: Jamie Lynn: Britney impregnated me with Ron Paul's sperm

Jamie Lynn: Britney impregnated me with Ron Paul's sperm

The entertainment world was shocked to hear that Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant and now it turns out that they are to be shocked once again with the startling revelation that her sister Britney secretly impregnated her

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Funny story: Army crackdown on users

Army crackdown on users

London - (Narcotic Mess): The MoD has said that it regularly weeds out freelance drug-dealers poaching on its hard-won turf.

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Funny story: George Mitchell reports on steroid use: "Doing drugs beats the crap out of playing baseball"

George Mitchell reports on steroid use: "Doing drugs beats the crap out of playing baseball"

BOSTON - After 20 months of sniffing around the fetid locker rooms of major league baseball, George Mitchell did more than just uncover the use of steroids among some of baseball's greatest star players.

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Funny story: "Get off Your High Horse" - Cops tell Rudi Giuliani over his Coke-snorting Pony

"Get off Your High Horse" - Cops tell Rudi Giuliani over his Coke-snorting Pony

Police in New York City were called the scene of a bizarre domestic incident involving Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani and his doped-up pet pony, Miss Pretty.

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Funny story: Breakfast Cereal Mascots Encourage Drug Use

Breakfast Cereal Mascots Encourage Drug Use

GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - For years, parents have believed what they were giving their children for breakfast were completely innocent, nutritious, and healthy, sugar-laden cereals. Anti-drug activists, however, have revealed that those naive parents were...

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Funny story: Company Announces Drug to Cure MSB

Company Announces Drug to Cure MSB

A drug company has announced today that it will be releasing to the market the new drug Driagra to cure temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostate region, a condition more commonly known as Massive Sperm Buildup (MSB) or Blue Balls.

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Funny story: "Smoking Crack with Jack": Nicholson gets once off Christmas TV Special

"Smoking Crack with Jack": Nicholson gets once off Christmas TV Special

Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson is to get a once off Holiday special TV talk show where he interviews friends while under the influence of narcotics.

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Funny story: Tiddlywinks World Cup Comes to UK

Tiddlywinks World Cup Comes to UK

This week beings the biggest sporting event since the "pass the parcel world championships" in August. Sources say that a record number of alcohol and drugs will be consumed throughout this prestigious event including Jim Bowen's favour...

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Funny story: Martina Hingis Quits Tennis Due to Positive Cocaine Tests

Martina Hingis Quits Tennis Due to Positive Cocaine Tests

Former Wimbledon champion Martina Hingis officially announced her retirement from tennis after her original and back up samples from this year's tournament tested positive for cocaine. She stated that the long suspension time and legal battles t...

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Funny story: Cops bust Buck House crack den

Cops bust Buck House crack den

Buckingham Palace, London: (Constitutional Mess): A sex, drugs and blackmail plot to oust the Puppet Monarch has resulted in a dawn raid on a Buckingham Palace crack den according to police reports.

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Funny story: Drug Company Develops Drug that makes User want to take More Prescription Drugs

Drug Company Develops Drug that makes User want to take More Prescription Drugs

NEW YORK, NY -- A pharmaceutical giant made an announcement earlier today that will likely change history.

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Funny story: Nobel winner Lessing 'no cute old granny'

Nobel winner Lessing 'no cute old granny'

Cricklewood, London - (Rotters): Nobel prize winner Doris Lessing played a blinder this week accepting the prestigious literature gong for a lifetime of humbug and denial about some murky DNA secrets lurking in her personal closet.

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