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Funny satire stories about sperm

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Funny story: Cops use sperm to nab horny burglar

Cops use sperm to nab horny burglar

LYNCHING, Va. - A prosecutor says sperm stains led police in Vancouver to a suspect with sticky fingers. Assistant Attorney Bertha Jackson said Lynching police matched stains on an penis enlarger left at the scene of a breaking and entering to 63...

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Funny story: Sperm Bank Deposits Dry Up Overnight

Sperm Bank Deposits Dry Up Overnight

Financial sectors received another blow today when the world's two largest and most respected sperm banks separately announced that they were in a sticky situation. The Nobel Sperm Bank in Oslo and the Jade Pagoda and Two Golden Drums Sperm Bank in C...

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Funny story: World Sperm Bank in Crisis as Giant Storage Freezer Breaks Down

World Sperm Bank in Crisis as Giant Storage Freezer Breaks Down

Yesterday in Geneva a spokesman for the World Sperm Bank Dr Dick Cumalott announced that a Giant Freezer stored at St. Peters Hospital had defrosted in the middle of night meaning that several million gallons of Love Juice had been irreparably damage...

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Funny story: And Man Created a God in his Own Image

And Man Created a God in his Own Image

We all know that the union of a human egg and sperm is called fertilization. For this process to properly materialize, in addition to a mind set, some physical conditions are required.

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Funny story: Scientists create sperm from Barbara Walters' sense of humor

Scientists create sperm from Barbara Walters' sense of humor

In an astounding breakthrough that sent ripples throughout the worldwide scientific community, UK scientists yesterday announced the creation of viable sperm from an unlikely source: Barbara Walters' near-nonexistent sense of humor.

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Funny story: Charlie Sheen Denies Sperm Donor Request From Denise Richards

Charlie Sheen Denies Sperm Donor Request From Denise Richards

Actress Denise Richards requested a sperm donation from soon to be ex-husband Charlie Sheen. They already have two children together and she wanted the third to have the same DNA. Sheen, star of "Two and a Half Men" and the "Hot Shots" movies, laug...

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Funny story: Bill Gates comes in second, along with his baby-batter; stock market worried

Bill Gates comes in second, along with his baby-batter; stock market worried

Beijing, China - Adding insult to injury, Bill Gates got the news just before his tour of China that not only has he lost the coveted top spot of the world's riches man, to Mexican billionaire, Carlos Slim, now he discovers he came in second plac...

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Funny story: Breast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin

Breast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin

Following a recent report by a respected male physicist into the cancer beating properties of breast milk, men all over the world are beating a path to local hospitals in a bid to buy gallons of the white stuff.

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Funny story: Bush Condemns Disclosure Of Terrorist Sperm Count

Bush Condemns Disclosure Of Terrorist Sperm Count

President Bush yesterday sharply condemned the disclosure of a program to secretly monitor the sperm count of suspected terrorists, as well as the sperm count of Americans. The inclusion of American sperm count was explained by: you never know; just...

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Funny story: Female spiders: Dine and Dash?

Female spiders: Dine and Dash?

VORACIOUS female spiders just cannot help trying to eat suitors before sex. Why? It's their aggressive personalities. Females of several spider and mantis species dine on their partners, but only after acquiring the sperm necessary to fertilize t...

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