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Funny satire stories about retirement

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Funny story: Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Amid strong speculation that Bruce Forsyth would be hanging up his dancing shoes at the age of ninety, Brucie himself has come forward and admitted that the limelight has just too much allure to have him retire just yet. "ITV bosses have offered m...

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Funny story: Phil Collins Announces Retirement

Phil Collins Announces Retirement

There has been a distinctly low key reaction in the entertainment world to the news that Phil Collins has announced his retirement from the music business. The former Genesis drummer , who carved out a successful solo career with albums such as '.

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Funny story: Local Man Pissed After Yobs Rampage Through Quiet Retirement Community!

Local Man Pissed After Yobs Rampage Through Quiet Retirement Community!

A quiet retired man, Melvin Wordsmithe, although he advised that he prefers his nickname "Wally" to Melvin, or Mel, awoke to find his tranquil neighborhood awash in plainclothes police after a late night rampage by local yobs the night before. W...

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Funny story: Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Shy and retiring megastar Lady GaGa has today sensationally quit the showbiz world. Lady GaGa, real name Gaynor Gartside has had enough of living the highlife and called it a day. As her new single once again goes global, she explained her decision to millions of devastated fans world wide. 'This will indeed be my last single. I'm sick and tired of wearing bra's made out of Parma Ham, a...

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Funny story: Retire Now, Work Later

Retire Now, Work Later

Company has answer to backwards dilemma: What is retirement and why does it have to come at the end of your career and life? Why not retire when you are 21 and able to enjoy your full potential? Work can wait, but your youth and health are on a declining scale. Waiting until you are 65 is like waiting until the expiration date has passed. Milk may still be palatable after its expiry...

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Funny story: Stephen King Comes Out of Retirement, Again

Stephen King Comes Out of Retirement, Again

Portland, Maine -- Stephen King is coming out of retirement, again. "Full Dark, No Stars" is the latest release for King, who announced his retirement from writing in 2002. "I thought I said it all, but when you are a formualistic writer, wel...

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Funny story: Not too old at 65

Not too old at 65

In a bid to become even more popular than the Beatles 'When I'm 64' and to defy the slogan 'The Good Die Young' the Government is to make sure people at 65 do not have to retire. In this devastating move not only are we on our way to solving the u...

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Funny story: Professional Slacker Leaning Toward Retirement

Professional Slacker Leaning Toward Retirement

FORT WAYNE, IN (HGN) - John Dunham is ready to hang it up, and get to work, or at least that's what his parents are hoping. Dunham graduated from Roosevelt High School in 2001 and seems to be losing interest in being a dead-beat lately. He spent ti...

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Funny story: U.S. Could Raise Retirement Age To 80

U.S. Could Raise Retirement Age To 80

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's deficit reduction commission said Wednesday that it is recommending painful changes to retirement benefits that the President has so far been afraid to propose on his own. The new austerity measures inc...

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Funny story: Nobody Expects the Spanish Preposition!

Nobody Expects the Spanish Preposition!

The decade of the "Con" is upon us. Ignore the Spanish translation meaning "with". We're not talking about Chili Con Carne' here, but rather something infinitely more evil and just as caustic to the bowels. The simple art of the financial Con. Nobo...

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Funny story: Brett Favre Changes Mind About Retirement Six Times During Press Conference

Brett Favre Changes Mind About Retirement Six Times During Press Conference

Brett Favre stood at a podium at the Minnesota Vikings headquarters and took questions from reporters after his choking performance Sunday against the New Orleans Saints. Favre threw more interceptions in that game than the Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo h...

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Funny story: Funeral Parlor Discovers Nursing Home is Tattooing Residents

Funeral Parlor Discovers Nursing Home is Tattooing Residents

The Shaw-Blackham-Robb-Watson Funeral Parlors have informed Rogers, Arkansas Police that they have discovered old people who die in the local Sunny Days Retirement Center and Nursing Home have been tattooed. Chuck Robb, one of the owners of the fune...

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Funny story: New Conservative Retirement Plan: Keep Working till you Drop Dead!

New Conservative Retirement Plan: Keep Working till you Drop Dead!

Washington, DC - A novel retirement plan for the people of America is under consideration in Congress. The plan put forth by conservative members of Congress is decidedly straight forward and simple. Aptly named the 'Keep Working Until You drop D...

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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh story has spoof writer considering retirement

Rush Limbaugh story has spoof writer considering retirement

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - It's been nearly 6 weeks since spoof writer cwthomson published the story "Rush Limbaugh Prefers World's Largest Penis to World's Largest Vagina" in The Garlic Press, and he says it's still one of his most read stories, every sing...

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Funny story: The Boogie Man Retires

The Boogie Man Retires

Hell, Michigan: After over 2000 years in business the Boogie Man has retired and is moving to Kissimmee FL, near Disneyworld. "This Michigan town freezes over every winter and I am sick of it," he was heard saying! Others cautioned that where he was...

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Funny story: Mythbusters to split, Savage retires from fun

Mythbusters to split, Savage retires from fun

In shocking news that has literally affected the whole of the internet, the Mythbusters team, popularised in the show Mythbusters, have decided to cancel the show after co-host Adam Savage announced his retirement from the whole business of having fu...

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Funny story: Satan retires, goals achieved

Satan retires, goals achieved

After several thousand years of mayhem, soul snatching, temptation, morality compromising, lust induction, and being the supreme causative factor in moving people to lie, cheat, rape, steal, and murder, Satan has decided to call it quits. Satan, a...

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