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Funny satire stories about rape

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Funny story: Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape

Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape

Justice Secretary and Lord chancellor Kenneth (Ken) Clarke has issued a full and frank apology in attempt to clarify his position on Oilseed Rape. Mr Clarke was forced into the embarrassing climb-down because of comments he made on Radio 4's 'Far...

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Funny story: The Pebble with a Red Streak, Part I

The Pebble with a Red Streak, Part I

Adolescence, as we all know, lies between childhood and adulthood. At this unique stage, the individual keeps gaining and losing his freedom. Before long, they all yield to the demands of the social system. During this horrible period terrible things may happen. The 14-year old boy of this story, like his peers, was looking for adventures, so he decided to mountain climb alone. When he reach...

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Funny story: Brit rubbish collectors could all be paedophiles or Granny rapists!

Brit rubbish collectors could all be paedophiles or Granny rapists!

Rubbish collectors in the UK have come under suspicion and must now undergo criminal record testing because they collect peoples personal rubbish including the neighbours discarded kiddy porno magazines? The UK public lives in panic and fear of p...

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Funny story: Wounded Rapist Demands Tougher Gun Control Laws.

Wounded Rapist Demands Tougher Gun Control Laws.

An unnamed accused serial rapist demanded tougher gun control laws from his hospital bed in suburban Philadelphia earlier today, just hours after being admitted by police for a gun shot wound incurred while attempting to assault a local woman. L...

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Funny story: Congress rapes Americans

Congress rapes Americans

WASHINGTON-In a landmark decision, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (*Retire Aged People Ea...

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Funny story: Zookeeper Raped by Gorilla

Zookeeper Raped by Gorilla

Zoo keeper Roy Schlemmer had no idea what he was getting himself into when he reported to work today at the San Jose Zoo. The zoo, renowned for being on the cutting edge of safety, announced to employees early last week that today would be the day...

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Funny story: Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Director Roman Polanski will leave jail Friday on $4.5 million dollars in bail ($1.5 million dollars for each bodily orifice through which he raped a 13 year old girl). Polanski will then be expected to remain at his Gstaad chalet to await word on w...

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Funny story: Texas man asks wife to cry rape

Texas man asks wife to cry rape

Austin, Texas - Chris Jenkins, recently laid off from the Ayers Tool and Die factory, has asked his wife Helen to accuse him of rape. Given that job prospects for either are scant, she has agreed. "I love Chris", said Helen, "But we need the mone...

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Funny story: That joke isn't funny anymore

That joke isn't funny anymore

It has just been revealed that disgusted fans of comic Jimmy London stormed out of a show last month after he allegedly molested a young woman on stage.

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Funny story: No Statutory Charges Pending Against Father of Jamie Lynn Spears Baby

No Statutory Charges Pending Against Father of Jamie Lynn Spears Baby

Hollywood police are not considering statutory charges against the 19 year old live-in boyfriend of 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears (actress and younger sister of Britney Spears). The actress and star of Zoey 101 announced today that she was 3 months...

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Funny story: Cheerleader Trampled by Football Team Becomes Top YouTube Video

Cheerleader Trampled by Football Team Becomes Top YouTube Video

The high school cheerleader in Washington that was accidentally trampled by the football team is recovering with only mild bruises. Friday evening, during the Homecoming game, she moved to straighten the center of a large banner just as the football...

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Funny story: Lighter Rape Sentences To 'Reflect The Seriousness Of The Crime' Says Straw

Lighter Rape Sentences To 'Reflect The Seriousness Of The Crime' Says Straw

Former Home Secretary Jack Straw has doused himself in controversy once more by announcing new plans to reduce sentences for the offence of Rape.

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Funny story: Warren Jeffs Guilty, Sentenced To Community Service as Junior High School

Warren Jeffs Guilty, Sentenced To Community Service as Junior High School

Warren Jeffs, leader of a polygamous sect that is a splinter group of the Mormon church, has been found guilty as an accomplice to rape. Jeffs was conviced for pressuring a 14 year old girl to marry, then have sex with, her 19 year old male cousin.

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Funny story: SPECIAL Bill gaining momentum in Congress

SPECIAL Bill gaining momentum in Congress

(Seattle, WA) Northwest activist Ashley White has introduced legislation to Congress that would recommend capital punishment for Level 3 sex offenders.

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Funny story: Censured comedy writer at 'The Vegetable' caught attempting to copulate with a palm tree; officials charge attempted date rape

Censured comedy writer at 'The Vegetable' caught attempting to copulate with a palm tree; officials charge attempted date rape

Coachella Valley, California - A self-described comedy writer at 'The Vegetable' was arrested during predawn hours today in Indio, California for attempting to copulate with a palm tree in a commercial date grove. The twenty-something male wa...

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Funny story: 2 Raped by Minister Awarded 11.45 Million Dollars

2 Raped by Minister Awarded 11.45 Million Dollars

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - GARDEN CITY, N.Y - The largest judgement ever in a child sexual abuse suit against the Roman Catholic Church was awarded to a young man and woman who were repeatedly raped by a youth minister, I.M. Afag as teenagers starting in...

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Funny story: Teachers Upset Saltpeter Put In Their Food

Teachers Upset Saltpeter Put In Their Food

For many years, private schools and boarding schools were accused of putting saltpeter (Potassium Nitrate) in the food of their male students to keep down their sex drive. With the recent increase in numbers of teachers sleeping with or molesting st...

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