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Funny satire stories about lockdown

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Funny story: People will have to relearn Small talk

People will have to relearn Small talk

People throughout the world are having to relearn the art of small-talk, now that shops and offices are beginning to open. The population, used to grunting, not getting out of their pyjamas until mid-morning, and going to bed early, will have to r…

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Funny story: Tea-Boy has been practising during Lockdown

Tea-Boy has been practising during Lockdown

49-year-old tea boy, Jason Isaacs, has been practising during the lockdown. Although now a senior member of the team at Seagull and Johns Solicitors, he has never had any ambition to do more with his life. 'I could have had a great career, but I t…

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Funny story: Are you contemplating your navel again?

Are you contemplating your navel again?

During Lockdown, it has probably come to your attention that you have been spending too long contemplating your navel. Why is that? Is your navel that interesting? No, it is not, so here are some other things to think about: 1) Why are most…

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Funny story: Festival Goer spent the weekend in a tent in his garden

Festival Goer spent the weekend in a tent in his garden

Gary Johnson, a Paul Weller fan and husband of Lorraine, has spent the weekend in a tent in his back garden, so that he doesn't lose the need to spend weekends in tents in strange fields with people two decades younger than himself when festivals sta…

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Funny story: Black Lace record has been played too many times during Lockdown

Black Lace record has been played too many times during Lockdown

Agadoo, a 1980s hit for Yorkshire-based popular beat combo, Black Lace, is said to be the most heard, but least wanted song played during the lockdown. Couples all over the country, wanting to remember the good times when Auntie Janice would form…

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Funny story: Couple telling everyone about their lock down anxiety dreams

Couple telling everyone about their lock down anxiety dreams

Mithering on the Trent couple, Stan and Vera, have been telling anyone who would listen, including their postmen, about the weird, anxiety lockdown dreams they have been having lately. 'Yes, it has been a bit strange,' said Stan, when we were the…

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Funny story: Man really missing his taxidermy group during lockdown

Man really missing his taxidermy group during lockdown

Gareth Johnson, a jovial man who likes to talk about the weather to strangers on the train, has revealed that, during the lockdown, he has missed the weekly exploits provided by his taxidermy group. 'I miss it,' said Gareth. 'I mean, the group is…

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Funny story: Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

As if Covid 19 lockdowns, unemployment, fear of a new pandemic, and furlough payments weren't enough to drive the world into recession! No, now we have a 'baby boom' heading our way like a tsunami hitting Japan! Scientists studying demographic mov...

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Funny story: Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...

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Funny story: Turd Hockey Returns

Turd Hockey Returns

With the Covid-19 crisis easing, sporting organisations are dusting off their clipboards and reacquainting with their whistles. Players of the game Turd Hockey are no exception. The game, played by about 7 people worldwide, has reached a new high…

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Funny story: Busker still no better

Busker still no better

Despite having months during lockdown to work on his chordal knowledge, his plectrum technique, his tuning, stage presence and projection, and his repertoire of songs, busker Shane Meadowfield is still no better. The talentless troubadour, who has…

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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches

Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches

NEW YORK CITY – Jennifer Lopez (aka J.Lo) told Voodoo Dupree with Glambuoyant Magazine that all this sheltering-in-place is wreaking havoc on her weight control regimen. She pointed out that when she is on the road performing nightly concerts, she...

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Funny story: Wombles are very busy, again

Wombles are very busy, again

Madame Cholet, Great Uncle Bulgaria and Tobermory, despite their increasing ages, are set to start clearing Wimbledon Common, as and when Lockdown restrictions are lifted. The three well-known characters have been taking it easy over the past few…

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Funny story: A nice day out at the castle

A nice day out at the castle

After the Prime Minister's guru had declared driving to be the way of testing eyesight, thousands have set out on trips up and down the motorways and country lanes of Britain, to ascertain their quality of vision. "Best if you test it from all sid...

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Funny story: Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

In news that surprised nobody at all, leading adviser to the PM, Dominic Cummings, has been unmasked as a liar, a hypocrite and an arrogant self-serving twat who refuses to acknowledge any errors he has made. "When I drove 260 miles during the loc...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Witnessing comedy clubs implementing contactless temperature-monitoring of guests and people going for their daily jog in face masks, all in the name of curbing the spread of a disease comparable in severity to the flu, Nate Parker of Nashville, Tenn...

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Funny story: CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

As a number of states begin to loosen up their COVID-19 lockdowns, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with extermination service Mosquito Joe to help people rid their backyards of the coronavirus and other pests that could p...

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