CHICAGO - The world's number one restaurant franchise is always having to keep one step ahead of the competition. Walter B. Frothfizzle, 53, spokesperson for the McDonald's chain stated that they've noticed in their corporate rear view mirror that...
A Japanese scientist has developed the worlds first food group made from human excrement. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, found that sewage mud has a lot of protein in it, beef has a lot of protein in it so why not comb...
LONDON - Brompton Boxgrove, a reporter with Britain's Tickety Boo News, has just reported that merry olde England has just opened up a brand new fast food establishment. Boxgrove reports that The Giddy Up Diner has just opened for business in the...
Over the past few years horses have been disappearing at an alarming rate on the European continent and now it seems as if the mystery has been solved; they have ended up in beef burgers in the UK! One vital clue in the mysterious disappearances w...
Super market giant Tesco today admitted that one of their prime value beef burgers had been found inside a horse. The horse named Billy after William Shakespeare, was today undergoing intensive surgery to remove the burger which had lodged in its sto...
The recent "horseburger scandal" "sweep-steaking" Britain is not quite as bad as it seems because hamburgers make people fat and horsemeat burgers make them thin. Nutritional experts have discovered that males and females who have been eating the...
London - A consignment of dodgy burgers has been confiscated by the UK National Poisons Unit after testing positive for traces of the missing racehorse. Shergar vanished from his Ballybollox, County Mayo stables shortly after winning the 1982 Epso...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley was extremely sad and upset when she was recently eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: The All Stars Edition. She told a close friend that she will certainly miss the daily ritual of being in Maksim Chmerkovskiy'...
SAN FRANCISCO -- A California dairy cow previously identified as having Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease, has been euthanized. Federal officials stated that in the last several weeks the cow had been exhibiting classic symptoms o...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama was having a cheeseburger with Vice-President Joe Biden at a local Burger Bandit in the nation's capital when he was asked a personal question regarding his marriage. The president put down his cheeseburge...
Maastricht, Holland: In the University of Maastricht Dutch scientists have discovered how to make synthetic hamburgers and a top Scottish burger chain has bought all rights for further development. The global empire owned by the McDonald family re...
Today saw the launch of Grossbook, the new social network site specially for the clinically obese, overeaters and the world's general fast-food junkies. Jane Lardbucket, a 32 stone professional eater from Glasgow had the idea when she was trying t...
SEATTLE - Hank Williams Jr. said he felt very strange not hollering out his usual Monday night "Are You Ready For Some Football" signature question on ESPNs Monday Night Football. "Bocephus, as his daddy Hank Sr. nicknamed him, told Sports Territ...
LEAVENWORTH, Kansas - Newt Gingrich's GOP Whiter Than White Bus Tour pulled into the home of the infamous Leavenworth Federal Prison as well as the home of Leavenworth Lolita's Barbecued Burgers & Hot Dogs Diner. Gingrich speaking to a crowd t...
South coast kebab and burger entrepreneur Ali Bullo has blamed the recent unrest in Worthing on crap burgers and kebabs. Ali Bullo explained that, being elderly mobility scooter riders and decadent MILF's, most of the troublemakers couldn't handle...
New York - The iconic Downtown delicatessen's latest treat was released today in tandem with the eatery's 'Crowbar' installer. This loads up the server with juicy condiments 'such as the spicy Crowbar sauce'(sic) the deli's CEO announced this morn...
'Gobsmacked News' reported today that Bob the Builder has been banned from ALL Burger Restaurants in Yorkshire for at least 8 months. Apparently, Bob the Builder was heading into his favourite Burger Restayrabt for his lunch yesterday and had aske...
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