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Funny story: Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today. The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...

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Funny story: The Drunk In Charge of a Theme Tune Sketch

The Drunk In Charge of a Theme Tune Sketch

An elderly man is staggering along the street, carrying a moose's head and humming the theme tune to The Forsyte Saga. A police Sergeant appears with a Constable. Sergeant: 'Now then now then my lad. What's all this here then, eh? I'm going to have to ask you to blow into this here balloon.' The man blows the balloon up. It turns out to be one of those long twisty ones. Sergeant: 'See...

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Funny story: Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50% "We felt an obligation to...

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Funny story: Iowan Eight "Mitt Romney voters" wake up with hangovers and recant - "He's a Pratt!" hits the morning papers

Iowan Eight "Mitt Romney voters" wake up with hangovers and recant - "He's a Pratt!" hits the morning papers

Mitt Romney's Mormon Holy Quest to lock down the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was sharply undercut this morning when eight Iowans who had apparently participated in caucus while under the influence of various dance club substances woke up...

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Funny story: Scientists discover global warming in Emmaus

Scientists discover global warming in Emmaus

EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpir...

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Funny story: "Twitter is Over Capacity" Phrase Trademarked by Twitter Birdies

"Twitter is Over Capacity" Phrase Trademarked by Twitter Birdies

Dissatisfied by the meager wages they receive for their services delivering tweets all around the world, Twitter birdies have become entrepreneurs and have trademarked their own version of the dreaded "over capacity" message sometimes displayed on th...

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Funny story: Spoof News to be included in phone hacking investigation

Spoof News to be included in phone hacking investigation

Police tonight revealed that top internet news site The Spoof is to be investigated in the phone-hacking scandal. An inquiry launched in the wake of alleged phone-hacking has heard details suggesting that the illegal practice was widespread. Noteb...

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Funny story: Local Man Claims To Have Been "Sloffensibly Blurred" - Whatever That Means

Local Man Claims To Have Been "Sloffensibly Blurred" - Whatever That Means

Local man, wastrel, ne'er do well, habitual drunkard, gambler, closet homosexual, dwarf, malcontent, former football hooligan, philanderer, alleged rapist, and alleged torturer of puppies and kittens, Martin Shuttlecock, this evening announced that h...

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Funny story: MP's 'So Drunk, they can hardly stand up' - a Tory MP claimed last night

MP's 'So Drunk, they can hardly stand up' - a Tory MP claimed last night

Heavy drinking MPs are often so sozzled they can barely stand up in the Commons, a Tory MP claimed last night. In an interview in one of the House of Commons 14 bars, a Tory MP who cannot be named for security reasons said; "Many stagger into the...

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Funny story: Obama's uncle fails U.S. history sobriety test

Obama's uncle fails U.S. history sobriety test

FRAMINGHAM, Mass.--President Obama's uncle, Onyango Obama, was arrested on August 24 after failing a sobriety test based on the history of the United States. Police pulled over Obama, 67, after making a rolling stop through a stop sign and nearly...

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Funny story: Pissed In Space - Russian Cosmonaut Spills Beans On International Space Station

Pissed In Space - Russian Cosmonaut Spills Beans On International Space Station

Russian Cosmonaut, Yuri Gaggininnit today revealed that a tour on the international space station isn't necessarily one long round of orbiting the earth and conducting obscure experiments, involving flying ants and lighted tapers in zero gravity cond...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Ex-Girlfriend Samantha Ronson's Mug Shot Is Beyond Being Coyote Ugly!

Lindsay Lohan's Ex-Girlfriend Samantha Ronson's Mug Shot Is Beyond Being Coyote Ugly!

BARSTOW, California - Deejay Samantha Ronson was returning from having performed at a QuinceaƱera Party in Las Vegas when she was pulled over for doing 89 mph in a 29 mph speed zone. Ronson, the ex-girlfriend of Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan, to...

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Funny story: Itallians replace planned Amy Winehouse (RIP) concert with near-dead Spice Girls!

Itallians replace planned Amy Winehouse (RIP) concert with near-dead Spice Girls!

After the tragic death of Amy Winehouse (RIP), her planned concerts in Italy had to be sadly cancelled although at first the Italians thought she was only "dead drunk"; nobody believes the Daily S++r in Italy! The organisers were forced into find...

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Funny story: Man arrested in Italy after pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Man arrested in Italy after pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Pisa, Italy: A man stumbled out of a local ristoranti in Pisa yesterday, totally loaded with Chianti and pizza. He made a bee-line for the tower and felt nature call and could not resist pissing up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The local Carabinieri...

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Funny story: Man arrested in Germany, he was caught laughing in public!

Man arrested in Germany, he was caught laughing in public!

Bitburg, Germany: A man walking in a Bitburg shopping precinct was arrested yesterday, ha was caught laughing in public an offence which is punishable in Germany. It seems the man left a pub stinking heavily of Bitburg beer (very tasty brew by the...

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Funny story: "Out-Of-Body" Experience Caused By "Brain Instability"

"Out-Of-Body" Experience Caused By "Brain Instability"

'Out-of-body' experiences are caused by instabilities in the brain which distort a person's perception, a study has found. Boffins at Birmingham University have found that the experience is caused by neural instabilities which cause vivid hallucin...

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Funny story: Sober as a Judge

Sober as a Judge

The perennially popular idiom "Sober as a Judge" was put under the spotlight by the Idiom Police, a lesser known division of the Literary Squad in Lincoln. "A lot of drunk people use the phrase," said Detective Charles Loche. "We need to know how...

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