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Funny satire stories about drinking

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Funny story: Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

BOSTON-While hoards of inebriated partygoers celebrated the inconsequentially misunderstood holiday of St. Patrick's Day behind him, Boston native and resident sour puss Jerry Doogan, slowly sipped his pint of Guinness at the bar of the Squealing...

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Funny story: Traces of Plutonium 210-style nerve agent on Eric Joyce bar bill?

Traces of Plutonium 210-style nerve agent on Eric Joyce bar bill?

London - Charged with three c*unts of common assault tonight the evidence is piling up high against Falkirk MP Eric Joyce. Police sources said this evening they were looking into Wednesday night's Strangers Bar CCTV footage where a Commons barman...

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Funny story: My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

10. According to my horoscope, that's what I was supposed to do. 9. My dad drank too much. 8. My girlfriend drinks too much. 7. Being sober around drunk people sucks. 6. Dry heaves are almost as good as crunches - and that's on top of my smoker's cough! 5. Artists, musicians and writers always drink too much - that's just the way it is. 4. I'm tired of feeling left out. 3. I'm...

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Funny story: The Beginner's Guide Part 6: Ten Things To Know About Drinking

The Beginner's Guide Part 6: Ten Things To Know About Drinking

Welcome one and welcome all, to the Beginner's Guide Part 6, everything you need to know about drinking. Close the saloon doors behind you, pull up a bar stool and tip the barman a few coins, and we'll share a wee dram of your favourite poison whilst discussing the intricacies of the nations favourite pastime. From the very dawn of time, man has sought to forget the foibles of the day, to er...

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Funny story: Local Pub Offers Delivery Service

Local Pub Offers Delivery Service

A village pub in the heart of Oxfordshire is to offer a free delivery service to the surrounding villages, in a bid to drum up some much needed trade. Badger Smeaton, landlord of the Mutilated Pig Inn and Carvery in Tumbledown Moreton, has seen tr...

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Funny story: Watered Down Beer to be Introduced for Kids!

Watered Down Beer to be Introduced for Kids!

The British pint of beer is to be watered down from October this year. The watery pints will mostly be selling in the pubs and bars of Britain where the majority of customers are under 25 years of age, though all pubs are to be encouraged by the gove...

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Funny story: Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

London - Drunken Druids have trashed a UNESCO-protected tube-web spider colony in North London's Parliament Hill tonight. Annual Summer Solstice revelry descended into farce around a quarter past six, Hampstead time, just as the sun began its annu...

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Funny story: Leicester Drunk Staggers A Mile In Another Man's Shoes - Says His Feet Are "Knackered"

Leicester Drunk Staggers A Mile In Another Man's Shoes - Says His Feet Are "Knackered"

Leicester man, and habitual drunkard, Matt Dillon yesterday staggered a mile in another man's shoes, upon completion of which he announced that his feet were "absolutely knackered." It is believed that Mr Dillon entered into a conversation with a...

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Funny story: Jessie J Shocked By Students Drinking

Jessie J Shocked By Students Drinking

Pop singer Jessie J says she was disgusted at student behaviour at a recent gig in the Republic of Ireland. The singer recently performed at Trinity College in Dublin and she was "shocked" at the level of student drinking. "In my day, anyone tu...

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Funny story: Alcohol Link To Stupid Behaviour

Alcohol Link To Stupid Behaviour

Research has established a definite link between excessive alcohol consumption and stupid behaviour. A Europe-wide survey in the British Medical Journal found that increased drinking led to 3 out of 10 men and 2 out of 10 women posing with funny h...

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Funny story: Footballer accused of drug taking had 'drunk another player's urine'

Footballer accused of drug taking had 'drunk another player's urine'

An unnamed Premiership football player has been cleared of using a 'specified substance' after a drug test, when he claimed that he had unknowingly ingested the drug in another player's urine. It seems that drinking a small quantity of urine is a...

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Funny story: Prince William Is Royally Thrilled Over The New "Kiss Me Kate" Beer

Prince William Is Royally Thrilled Over The New "Kiss Me Kate" Beer

MAIDENHEAD, England - The Windsor Castle Brewing Company of Maidenhead has announced that it will soon be distributing its latest product Kiss Me Kate Beer. Head brewer Chichester Croxtonworth told a reporter for Tickety Boo News that he worked di...

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Funny story: Soupathon 2010 Xfactor

Soupathon 2010 Xfactor

While thousands tuned into TV3 to watch a talent show on Saturday night, the real talent was in the front door in Galway and they were putting on some show. Feeney was the first competitor on the scene. As he walked into the pub and to the bar yo...

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Funny story: Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight. The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...

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Funny story: Horror: London Man Brutally Left Hanging In Street

Horror: London Man Brutally Left Hanging In Street

Police are conducting a city wide search for a group of youths who callously left a pal hanging in a busy street, last Thursday evening, while out on the town drinking. Reports suggest the group were out celebrating a work related job promotion, f...

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Funny story: Man gets cup of tea, was expecting coffee. Mouth upset.

Man gets cup of tea, was expecting coffee. Mouth upset.

A local man is undergoing counselling today following a beverage related miscommunication between him and a friend he was visiting. The events unfolded as the local gent was asked by his friend if he wanted a cuppa, due to the kettle being on and...

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Funny story: One In Three People Who Drink Too Much Feel Like Sh*t The Following Morning

One In Three People Who Drink Too Much Feel Like Sh*t The Following Morning

New figures released today reveal that one in three people who drink too much inevitably feel like shit the following morning. And apparently the other two don't fare all that much better. "I like a drink or two," one man said. "But the followi...

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