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Funny satire stories about Vegetables

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Funny story: Organic Grocer to Sell "Straight Sanctimony"

Organic Grocer to Sell "Straight Sanctimony"

Boulder, CO - Organic grocer Whole Globe Foods has announced a new produce-free product called "Straight Sanctimony" to appeal to its customers who want to feel good about themselves, even though they don't like eating fresh vegetables or fruit.

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Funny story: Bear Grylls Turns Up Nose At Broccoli

Bear Grylls Turns Up Nose At Broccoli

December 20, 2008 - NEW YORK CITY, NY - Noted Discovery Channel celebrity and survivalist Bear Grylls walked out of Manhattan's Ristorante Mario in disgust earlier this week. The small but quaint, highly regarded Italian restaurant has been very...

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Funny story: EU to allow wonky veg

EU to allow wonky veg

To give Neil Kinnock his due, he has worked tirelessly on behalf of British farmers for the past twenty years to overturn the EU directive that disallows the sale of knobbly carrots and bent cucumbers. Since the introduction of EU Directive 1677/8...

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Funny story: Free vegetable seeds for every household

Free vegetable seeds for every household

Every UK household can now discover the joy of growing their own vegetables, thanks to a new scheme that has been introduced to distribute free seeds. Gordon Brown made the following announcement today: "We are in the middle of the first recession...

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Funny story: Oranges are the only fruit

Oranges are the only fruit

According to a ground breaking study that will be published in the Lancet this month a group of amateur scientists have stumbled upon what they claim to be the fruit gene. This news, if corroborated, will rock the world of fruit and vegetables to...

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Funny story: Barbed Wire Banned After Thief Scratched

Barbed Wire Banned After Thief Scratched

Gardeners at Smegmadale's Sunnysideup Allotments have been ordered by the local authorities to remove the barbed wire capping fences around their respective lots due a teenage vegetable thief filing a personal injury claim against the district counci...

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Funny story: "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" advance on the Nation's Capitol as Bush retreats from shorting the FDA budget

"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" advance on the Nation's Capitol as Bush retreats from shorting the FDA budget

Washington, DC - Refusing any additional funding during the Congressional hearings on the Chinese wheat gluten and lead contamination scare to hire addition FDA inspectors, the Bush administration has reversed its position and now asks Congress for t...

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Funny story: Health Scare Over US Tomatoes

Health Scare Over US Tomatoes

Today, millions of tomatoes were withdrawn from shops and stores across America, because of healthy-eating fears.

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Funny story: Tomato Problems Traced To Mexican Farms

Tomato Problems Traced To Mexican Farms

The tomato ban, which spread from Texas and New Mexico to nine states, then seventeen states, and then the entire country, has been traced to product imported from Mexico.

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Funny story: Durham man attacked by locovore

Durham man attacked by locovore

A Durham man was attacked this evening by a locovore when he got in the locovore's way while it was grazing at a Whole Food's salad bar on Todd Street. Peter Hardwick was serving himself when a man identified as a locovore came out of the cor...

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Funny story: George Bush converts to fruitarianism

George Bush converts to fruitarianism

When the vegetarians came along with all their tree huggin and 'no meat eatin', fathers saw it as a way to save money, mothers saw it as a way to loose weight, and young people just saw it as another way to make them eat more vegetables.

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Funny story: Spun Dried Tomatoes

Spun Dried Tomatoes

The president of the Italian Agricultural Ministry, admitted last night that "Sun Dried" Tomatoes, the 'must have' ingredient in every trendy kitchen from New York to New Zealand, don't exist, but are due to a clerical error.

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Funny story: Uneducated Brocolli

Uneducated Brocolli

A recent development has sprung from the news that Cauliflower is now the least well educated of the vegetable family.

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Funny story: Vegetable Rights Activists Seize NY Planet Hollywood, Schwarzenegger Negotiates Hostage Release

Vegetable Rights Activists Seize NY Planet Hollywood, Schwarzenegger Negotiates Hostage Release

NEW YORK - "No one will be killed, if you do as we say!" Roberto Alvarez heard these frightening words as someone behind him put a paring knife to his neck. Alvarez, a Planet Hollywood salad prep crew worker, was one of fourteen of the ki...

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