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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight residents are reminded to move their calendars forward tonight to 2013. Despite the annual spring reminder and widespread use of the Internet there are many hold outs to sharing the 2013 calendar across the island with many communities...

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Funny story: Many Fail To Turn Back Clocks At 2AM - Thousands Arrested!

Many Fail To Turn Back Clocks At 2AM - Thousands Arrested!

Police have made thousands of arrests after people illegally turned their clocks back by one hour last night instead of waiting to do so at the now legally required time of 2am. Police were out in force across the UK last night making spot checks...

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Funny story: Millions oversleep as the 02 network goes down

Millions oversleep as the 02 network goes down

Millions of 02 customers turned up late for work this morning, all with the same excuse: they overslept because their alarm failed to go off. "It sounds like a lame excuse," said O2 customer liaison officer, Tom O'Byle. "And in many ways it is. Ho...

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Funny story: Union demands extra second's pay for workers

Union demands extra second's pay for workers

Leaders of the Britain's biggest public sector union have proposed industrial action if employers do not pay workers for the extra second that is being inserted into the calendar on June 30th. At midnight on June 30th, one second is due to be adde...

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Funny story: Commander Bond with some tips on enjoying the upcoming St. John Voodo Holiday - 24 June

Commander Bond with some tips on enjoying the upcoming St. John Voodo Holiday - 24 June

Well here we are. Many of you are unawares of the meaning behind the St. John's Voodoo holiday coming up Sunday, June 24. It's a harmless holiday really, a lot of chasing and shagging while waving potables not fit for either end, actually.

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Funny story: Time? Says US Navy-Did We Miss Something?

Time? Says US Navy-Did We Miss Something?

The US Navy has this problem with clocks. And to be fair, we can't blame the gobs out there chipping the paint. That's navy life. Earlier this month, the spoof scooped the potato, the carrot AND the onion.com's when the International Dateline malfunctioned and the US Navy responded with force to escort June in. The spoof's spook speaks time and again! But would anyone listen? Now it tu...

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Funny story: HG Wells's The Time Machine, as read by the author

HG Wells's The Time Machine, as read by the author

Tim Travola of Glasgow has been a massive fan of the novel HG Wells's The Time Machine since being eight years old. So much so, that it is the only book he has ever read, since discovering it. "I got to the point where I had to have it playing in the car while I drove," said Travola. "Then I started to wish I could have the audio version as read by the author." Unfortunately for Travola, HG...

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Funny story: Gravity, Time, Celestial Mechanics... All Bastards Says Local Woman

Gravity, Time, Celestial Mechanics... All Bastards Says Local Woman

A local woman has lashed out at the workings of the universe following the realisation that her birthday fell on a Sunday. She claims that if the universe had been better arranged, she would not face going to work on Monday with a hangover. Mrs...

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Funny story: Vague Timing System to be used in the Olympics

Vague Timing System to be used in the Olympics

Scientists at Cambridge University have successfully lobbied the World Athletics Federation to adopt their new Vague Timing System as the official timing system of the Olympics. "With many countries having different timing mechanisms, we feel this...

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Funny story: Passing the time is the new pastime

Passing the time is the new pastime

More people than ever before now spend most of their spare time 'passing time'. In a recent European survey of several thousand people (who were just hanging about), over 90% of them said their main pastime was passing the time. "A few years ag...

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Funny story: Quantum Mechanic Researchers Discover Time Runs Backward!

Quantum Mechanic Researchers Discover Time Runs Backward!

Dateline Bern, Switzerland, day after tomorrow: Quantum researchers exploring the bizarre world of "string theory", "quantum entanglements", "replicating clothes hangers" , "single socks" and other unexplained phenomenon which A.Einstein will one day...

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Funny story: Thieves steal international date line and drop it in middle of Asia

Thieves steal international date line and drop it in middle of Asia

Last night the International Date Line, the boundary line between 'today' and 'tomorrow' was stolen by a group of metaphysical criminals calling themselves the 'Time Lords'. Since it's inception in 1884 at the International Meridian Conference, the Date Line has been tucked safely away in the middle of the Pacific ocean at 180 degrees Longitude. This morning the Date Line finds itself slap bang in...

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Funny story: It happened on my watch

It happened on my watch

Following a week of shock revelations and all manner of hullabaloo, there have been warnings of more to come. The times they are a changing and that's not all, people are going and coming, regimes are changing and the hand that ticks and tocks awa...

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Funny story: Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

The UN announced today that the year of 2012 is to be postponed. Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations, spoke of the unanimous UN vote. 'The outlook for the global economy is extremely uncertain,' he explained. 'There is political i...

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Funny story: Brian Cox - the rising star of British Astronomy

Brian Cox - the rising star of British Astronomy

Brian Cox, the rising star of television astronomy, has been asked to explain the entire universe, all that has happened, all that will happen, how it happens and what is going on right now across the entire visible universe. In four hour long episod...

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Funny story: Summertime Plan To Boost UK Tourism

Summertime Plan To Boost UK Tourism

Proposals to put Britain on "Double Summertime" will be published by the Government as part of a new strategy for tourism this week They will involve putting the clocks forward an extra hour to bring the country in line with the rest of Europe.

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Funny story: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...

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