The confidence trickster and professional thief known only as Beatie has struck again. Sid Bonkers, an 83 year old war veteran and former charity volunteer who loves children and puppies is the latest victim. "I just needed some batteries for my...
With Spring just around the corner, I decided the first thing I'd clean would be my wallet. Nearly two inches thick, my billfold has become just too unwieldy for my back pocket. While this isn't a problem at home, commuting can be a pain in the...you know what I mean. The first thing to go was the month's worth of debit card receipts accumulated from the local grocery stores. It's not often I c...
Door to door double glazing salesman Hugh Peeveesea was found dead in a Swansea street this morning, apparently from acute hypothermia. At first, it was suspected that Mr Peeveesea was another statistic in the tragic Bridgend suicide cult that has...
There were many reports this evening of children as young as 5 demanding money with menaces at locations across the UK. Police Officer Hal O'Ween said "I think these reports are very unlikely. There are very strict laws in this country about minor...
After a local health clinic in Hartford, Connecticut, received six telephone calls in a row from some heavy breathing pervert, they decided to call the police. Police then traced the seventh call to an apartment on Bigelow Street and called in for a...
Local man caves to mounting testimony from friends and admits he has used his cell phone while shitting but maintains it was only for texting and never while talking. Jeff Blake found himself cornered in the last seat of the bar with some of his...
London - Mayor Boris Johnson has come up with a novel solution to the shortage of public loos in downtown London for tourists and shoppers. The historic red telephone box designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott is to be redesigned as a loo under the KX10...
Hot on the heals of his fantastic, incredible, unbelievable, Conservative-beating and amazing majority of, er, 9 in the recent Commons vote on 42 days detention, Prime Minister Gordon Brown decided to telephone a random British voter to join in the c...
With all the talk of red phones around the Democandies campaign, telephone companies are predicting that their once top seller, the Princess phone, may have a 21st century rival. Red Light Districts are ordering them by the car-load and Vladmir Putin...
What's old, doesn't work and smells of wee? Not pensioners, but BT red telephone boxes. These scarlet iconic beauties were set to disappear from remote villages all over Britain, but have received a last minute reprieve from the Government.
VANCOUVER (Varietal Magazine) - The voice on the other end of the telephone was fraught with panic: "Listen to me, I need to disappear for a little while... If they even know that I am talking with you, your life could be in danger too!"...
Hollywood, California (IP) - Elisha Cuthbert is famous for her role as Jack Bauer's daughter on the TV series 24. Now she has become famous for chasing after a well known American space scientist named Dr. Povenmire Finootch.
An increasing number of businesses today rely on computer voice recognition for navigating their phone directories. First generation software products, unfortunately, could not decipher the language of many rural speakers.
A queue formed last night at the BBC, ITV, C4 and SKY's boardroom doors, of producers waiting to confess to having run bent phone in competitions, and in fact any contact that TV and radio has ever had with the outside world by telephone turns out to be false.
Are you a parent afraid of lashing out at your child? Kids can be so sensitive these days! Calling your eleven year old daughter a little pig can get you in a world of trouble. Not only will your child be upset, but the authorities will have a field day at your expense. Don't be victimized!...
In the last few days, news has broken regarding the unprecedented level of phone tapping occuring in the UK. As many as 1 in every 3,000,000 phones is, as I speak, being tapped.
After recently spending time with Aussie boxing champion, Kostya Tszyu, Australian Russell Crowe 41, was out to test the waters. When the telephone in his hotel room didn't work he approached the porter in the lobby. Russell did his best to provoke a...
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