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Funny satire stories about Ted Kennedy

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy Died Because Death Squad Denied Him Medical Coverage

Ted Kennedy Died Because Death Squad Denied Him Medical Coverage

Senator Ted Kennedy was one of the first people to be covered under Barack Obama's new Health Care Plan. His death was actually a result of his not being approved to received medical treatment after being turned down by a "death squad." Head of t...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy's Head Still Alive, Attached To 16-Year-Old Female Body

Ted Kennedy's Head Still Alive, Attached To 16-Year-Old Female Body

Ted Kennedy is not only alive but he's having more fun than a cat with five peckers according to an inside source who asked that he not be named or "all those wild conspiracy theories will spring up again. "The next thing you know there'll be witn...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy Actually Dead Ten Hours Before it was Reported

Ted Kennedy Actually Dead Ten Hours Before it was Reported

In a stunning news announcement, it was learned today that Ted Kennedy was actually dead for ten hours before it was reported. Instead of dying in his home on Tuesday evening, it actually happened in the early afternoon. One of those involved, sp...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy's Corpse Signed to Play The Blob in Movie Remake

Ted Kennedy's Corpse Signed to Play The Blob in Movie Remake

Ted Kennedy's corpse, bloated and purple, has been signed to play the title character in "The Blob" movie remake. The film is set to begin shooting this week in Hollywood. Film director Rob Zombie said that "we thought Teddy would be just perfec...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy Finally Meets His Maker: It Didn't Go Well!

Ted Kennedy Finally Meets His Maker: It Didn't Go Well!

Somewhere South of the Border/ It's HOT! - Despite the outpouring of love, sympathy, and maudlin wailing on the behalf of besotted liberals, and the Massachusetts electorate in particular, Ted's "homecoming" was not a joyous event according to report...

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Funny story: John F. Kennedy Airport To Be Renamed Teddy Kennedy Airport

John F. Kennedy Airport To Be Renamed Teddy Kennedy Airport

NEW YORK CITY - The New York City council has voted to change the name of John F. Kennedy International Airport to Teddy Kennedy International Airport. Councilwoman Chloe Tarantella said that originally the council wanted to rename it The John and...

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Funny story: Hitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights

Hitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights

Vatican City - (Bejaysus! Mess): A self-proclaimed drunk, adulterer, divorcee and pro-choice abortion legislator Kennedy always reckoned himself to be 'in with a chance' for a proper Papal sendoff when the time came. But reports that Pope Joseph R...

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Funny story: Leonardo DiCaprio: Ted Kennedy was my Dad

Leonardo DiCaprio: Ted Kennedy was my Dad

Los Angeles - (Reuterus): Online bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.con are quoting even money on Hollywood movie star Leonardo DiCaprio turning up for his father Ted Kennedy's funeral on Saturday. "Of course the Body of Lies star won't be an actual pall...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy's Head To Be In Macy's Parade

Ted Kennedy's Head To Be In Macy's Parade

In honor of the great senator from Massachusetts, Macy's has announced that a huge balloon of Ted Kennedy's head, made on a 10 to 1 scale, will be featured in their Thanksgiving Parade in November. "Actually this has happened by chance in the past...

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Funny story: Writer Dominick Dunne Continues to Pursue Ted to the Grave-and Beyond!

Writer Dominick Dunne Continues to Pursue Ted to the Grave-and Beyond!

Hyannis, Massachusetts/True Crime Stories - A dogged Dominick Dunne, 83, remained true to his mantra as he followed Ted Kennedy in Death today, making good a vow to "follow Ted to hell in order to get the real story behind Chappaquiddick!" The wel...

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Funny story: 'Like the the man who tricked his way onto a lifeboat from the Titanic'

'Like the the man who tricked his way onto a lifeboat from the Titanic'

London - (Rotters): Senator Ted Kennedy's lifetime of drunkenness, chicanery, priviledge and forked tongue doublespeak has been likened to that of a trickster survivor of The Titanic by one London newspaper commentator. The senator's Oldsmobile De...

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Funny story: Whitey Bulger Emerges from Hiding: Throws Hat in Ring for Ted's Senate Seat!

Whitey Bulger Emerges from Hiding: Throws Hat in Ring for Ted's Senate Seat!

Boston, MA/ Political News - In a bold political move, Winter Hill Criminal Gang Leader, Whitey Bulger, emerged from "hiding" and moved into the limelight after the Massachusetts Senate voted unanimously to grant him amnesty from a career of Murder...

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Funny story: Edward Kennerty:an Obituary

Edward Kennerty:an Obituary

Edward Kennerty, who died in Boston, Massachusetts today, aged 143, had a long and distinguished career as a Democrat politician. His life began in 1866, when he was born to father Tedward Kennerty, a bootlegger and gangster, and mother Edwina Rosie Lee Parnassus Boulevard McHimmler O'Guiness O'Reilly Obama OmacDonald Hadjafarmski Kennerty. In his twenties he enrolled in Harvard College, but fa...

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Funny story: Senator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck

Senator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck

HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - Senator Ted Kennedy has left his prized, pride and joy yacht The Silver Sage of The Sea to Fox Network political TV show host Glenn Beck. Speaking from the Kennedy Hyannis Port Compound family spokesperson Oliver Tere...

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Funny story: New Kennedy Conspiracy Theory Gains Momentum

New Kennedy Conspiracy Theory Gains Momentum

Chappaquiddick (Bridge Water Leggit) The death of Ted Kennedy may not have been due to natural causes, it has been suggested. The veteran senator may have fallen victim to the infamous Kennedy curse. Leading cancer specialist Dr Pat Pocock said "I re...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy's Funeral To Be Broadcast on Cable Television

Ted Kennedy's Funeral To Be Broadcast on Cable Television

The funeral for the late Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy will be broadcast on cable television for the world to watch. The brother of former president JFK passed away Tuesday evening due to complications from several health conditions. The funeral w...

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Funny story: Ted Kennedy to be buried in Marilyn Monroe vault

Ted Kennedy to be buried in Marilyn Monroe vault

Los Angeles - (Some Like It Hot Mess): The new owner of the $4.6 million Westwood Village Memorial Park burial vault holding Marilyn Monroe's remains was named as Sen Edward Kennedy who died today. The former top IRA fundraiser and Democratic Mas...

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