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Funny satire stories about Ted Cruz

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Funny story: 2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

If you haven't already guessed, the 2016 election is really a Woody Allen film plot. Donald Trump, to be portrayed by Alec Baldwin, is a closet Democrat and a Hillary Clinton supporter, portrayed by Angela Lansbury. Donald never wanted to be pres...

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Funny story: After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

Last night's Republican debate in Detroit was only half the story. Our intrepid Senior Reporter, Dale Petrie has a nose for news, which fortunately for him was plugged, because to get the real dirt, he hid in the restroom at the Fox Theater. Here is...

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Funny story: Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Detroit, MI--After Donald Trump revealed at the Republican debate that he was "huge," in response to Marco Rubio's implicit criticism of the size of his genitals, all of the candidates now vying for the Republican nomination are being asked to releas...

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Funny story: Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

The Donald has tried to reach out to black Americans by staging a highly contrived music battle with Ted Cruz. However, he hasn't had much success. Man nah vote for Ted Cruiser, dis dull Establishment GOP loser! Man will nah vote, dis guy a jerk! Him Cruz Canadian, nah let man jive 'n' smirk! Man never vote for nah Teddy Cruz, Trump have fi win, me man dem Teddy lose! Cruz has hi...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

In a desperate attempt to prove how tough he would be on illegal immigration, presidential candidate Ted Cruz vowed to attach a huge net to the wall he will build between Mexico and the United States. "We no longer will allow migrating birds to mo...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Accuses Rivals Of Cannibalism

Ted Cruz Accuses Rivals Of Cannibalism

Saying the New York Times reported it first, the Cruz campaign was distancing itself from a mailer a Cruz super pac sent out to Nevada voters describing his opponent's practices of ritual sacrifices and cannibalism. "It was a mistake to tell vote...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton

Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton

Though neither are even close to wrapping up their party's nomination, Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz will appear together in an unprecedented event: Hillary will make her case for another Clinton Presidency while Ted Cruz will attempt to exorcise the...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz: Second Head Makes Trump Ineligible for POTUS

Ted Cruz: Second Head Makes Trump Ineligible for POTUS

In a bizarre turn of the tables, Ted Cruz has launched a birther attack against Donald Trump after reports of a second head emerging from Trump's jacket and shouting during a New Hampshire press briefing. "If this story is true, it raises serious...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Foreign-born Ted Cruz and foreign-born Penelope Cruz are not eligible to run for President of the United States. He was born in Canada and she was born in Spain. Foreign-born Arnold Schwarzeneggar, though married to a niece of a president, also canno...

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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton announced she's picking Joe Biden as her Vice President running mate. Naturally, Bernie Sanders is shouting foul, as he defended her on her emails and using the bathroom during the last debate. "Thanks, but you're not getting the...

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Funny story: Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since April of 2010 has the Supreme Court issued a decision in the form of a limerick. Historically, The High Court of Scotland started this procedure back in the 1262 in order to keep an over-supply of poetic justices occupie...

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Funny story: Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Last night Mr. Trump and Sarah Palin met at Royal Star Super Burger, an Iowa diner, and the event turned into a campaign rally. Hunkered down with super burgers, macaroni and cheese, plus diet Pepsis all was going quietly until somebody yelled: "P...

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Funny story: Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Donald Trump seems strong in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, but that doesn't mean he'll curb his more fringe tendencies. This week, Trump spoke at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, where he brought his brash viewpoi...

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Funny story: Trump concerned that Ted Cruz will spend thousands of tax dollars on maple syrup

Trump concerned that Ted Cruz will spend thousands of tax dollars on maple syrup

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump finds it very problematic that fellow candidate Ted Cruz is from Canada. Trump states that during breaks in the debate, Cruz surreptitiously drinks maple syrup from a flask stickered with Canadian flags.

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"

Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"

BILLINGSGATE POST: "I will never have a plane with my name on it," said Ted Cruz in comparing himself to rival Don Trump; "unless I am elected president and change my name to Air Force One." "EGAD FAP! KAFF KAFF!..WHEEEZ! GULP! GLUG GLUG!" Whene...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz's Daughters Admit to Running Campaign

Ted Cruz's Daughters Admit to Running Campaign

WASHINGTON- Ted Cruz and his untrained, human daughters held a press conference today to announce that his presidential campaign has been controlled from the start by his elementary school aged children. In the wake of a disgusting, unimaginable...

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Funny story: Monkeys Protest Being Portrayed as Tedd Cruz's Children

Monkeys Protest Being Portrayed as Tedd Cruz's Children

Monkeys are irate after a distasteful political cartoon depicted them stumping for the dark horse Republican presidential candidate. "Sure we work for peanuts sometimes," one inconsolable primate protested, "but that doesn't mean we'll go out in f...

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