Anonymous tea party insiders indicate the party is recovering quickly from its recent defeat, with exciting notions for more shutdown and debt ceiling crisis into the new year The defeat was accompanied by a thrilling revelation, as though a cloud...
The Tea Party is a group of political hacks who have hijacked Congress, shut down the government, and polluted vast stretches of the Infosphere with their antisocial notions and out of order tactics. Sure, they were entertaining at first, offering earnest explanations of how a bill becomes a hate crime. But Tea Party demagogue Ted Cruz has stopped being funny and has become just annoying. Now...
A recent Gallup poll conducted over the last weekend seems to suggest that the Tea Party may consider changing its name. While the nation is coping with the shutdown and many families are struggling to find ways to put food and drinks on the table ma...
Anonymous NSA sources are now revealing the latest surveillance deep inside an old textbook building where current tea party aficionados are planning strategy. The nature of this surveillance is not clear although deployment of tiny insect drones...
WASHINGTON, D. C.--With the deepening rift in the Republican Party over the government shutdown, some moderate Republicans are beginning to embrace a more measured approach to gun control. Said one Republican moderate, who remained anonymous for fe...
With the recent success in shutting down the government, the "gang of thirty" tea party members who are currently steering the GOP decided to celebrate. They dispersed to the home of one of their benefactors with its three swimming pools and sund...
The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another John McCain called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I'LL RUIN THE LEGISLATIVE PROCESS!" so he stomped off to bed without passing anything. That very night in Ted's room a chaos grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with pointless obstructions and the walls of Congress became the world all around Ted and a tide tumb...
Steely blue eyes ablaze with conviction, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R - Ohio) expresses the will of the American People. In virtually every speech, the phrase "the American People want" passes his righteous lips with prophetic certainty and...
This week GOP politicians, led by House Speaker Mr. Boehner and his conservative colleagues, will use a stunning new technique in an effort to further persuade congress and the American people on the wisdom of shutting down the government. An ent...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--After tweeting, "Fuck it! My wife's toy poodle could get more done with these guys than I can!", the besieged Speaker of the House stepped down on Friday to allow his wife's toy poodle, Knuckles, to take over as Majority Leader.
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham were seen today hunting Wacko Birds in Washington, D. C., in an attempt, McCain explained, to rid the Republican Party of all the extremist kooks bubbling up from the Tea Party faction of the...
WASHINGTON, DC--Having had such success nationwide with the Stand Your Ground laws, Republicans in the House and Senate are now calling for passage of a law they call the "Starve Your Poor Bill." This bill, which Republicans are selling as a self-de...
Although the more momentous voting on the Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2, this revered document was signed and officially adopted on July 4, which we now proudly celebrate as Independence Day (although John Adams preferred July 2). What follows is a rewrite of the Declaration of Independence, as conceived of by the Tea Party, had the Founding Fathers known as much about their ow...
Washington DC - The CIA intelligence whistleblower has become the darling of the US Tea Party movement after tweeting from somewhere in International Airspace his intention to publish the US President's 'real birth certificate' that names him as a Br...
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm the kind of hard stomping guy usually depicted in Super Bowl Truck commercials. I drive my Ford F350 from my house in the suburbs to my high impact job as an Accountant downtown. Today's hero of Freedom is conservative Radio sensation Alex Jones. Alex is the kind of hard hitting conservative who wanted to deport suspected Redcoat Piers Mor...
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm a hardcore Republican warrior who will fight for limited government, deregulation, personal responsibility and a balanced budget. As long as we don't have to cut our centralized military that costs more than the next four countries combined. Today's hero of freedom is Dustin Stockton a spokesperson for TheTeaParty.net. Dustin is the kind o...
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm the type of Conservative who has God sanctioned missionary style sex with my wife while thinking about Ronald Reagan. Today's hero of Freedom is Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. Rand is the son o...
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