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Funny satire stories about Stock Market

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Funny story: Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

A loud fart that occurred on the floor of the Estonian Parliament ignited panic and pandemonium on Wall Street, leading to a mass selloff of stocks by investors causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop more than 1 million points, most of whic...

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Funny story: Rogue Trader Makes $2 Trillion In One Day

Rogue Trader Makes $2 Trillion In One Day

Recent history is littered with stories from the financial markets of so called "rogue traders" who have made massive irresponsible bets and lost, resulting in losses often running into the billions. It stands to reason that with so many idiots rolli...

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Funny story: Obama Causes McDonald's Stock Price to Double

Obama Causes McDonald's Stock Price to Double

Washington DC: The share price of McDonald's Corporation has doubled on the NYSE. Market analysts believe the jump in shareholder value was a consequence of President Obama's latest executive order. The president's executive order sends Thanksgivi...

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Funny story: Apple and Blackberry Crumble

Apple and Blackberry Crumble

After the tragic news of the death of Apple guru, Steve Jobs, and the recent problems that have beset RIM's Blackberry systems, share prices at both companies have fallen alarmingly. "Although this is the ideal opportunity for a great headline," s...

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Funny story: 'Occupy Wall Street' even makes its way into rural Vermont, although no one is sure why

'Occupy Wall Street' even makes its way into rural Vermont, although no one is sure why

HARFOLD, Vt.--Occupy Wall Street protesters continued to appear this week in towns across the nation which clearly no one, including presidential candidates, gives a shit about. Seven senior citizens sat in chairs in the parking lot of the Harfold...

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Funny story: USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight

USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight

Under mounting pressure to demonstrate an economic turnaround, the United States Bureau of Labor and Statistics has decided to change the metrics being used to measure economic growth. The principal economic metric will now be the Gross Domestic Weig...

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Funny story: Man Indicted For Outsider Trading

Man Indicted For Outsider Trading

New York, New York-Wall Street Financier Lawrence Welsh has been indicted by a federal grand jury on allegations of outsider trading after an investigation into his stock trades revealed that he wasn't very well liked by anybody. "He was your cla...

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Funny story: 'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

Washington DC -- Pres. Barack Obama says he has figured out what is causing the US economic slowdown, and that he knows how to cure the economy's ills. But a variety of experts disagree. "Wall Street is not getting its minimum daily requirement of...

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Funny story: Economic Disaster Spreads! Bear Market Set to Consume Norway!

Economic Disaster Spreads! Bear Market Set to Consume Norway!

Recent global unrest and the impending crash of the world economy has now reached to Norway, one of the World's richest nations, home to 4.5 million Striking Vikings, who live very well, thank you, courtesy of North Sea oil resources. "It's the at...

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Funny story: New York Stock Market Crashes

New York Stock Market Crashes

New York NY: The Stock Market crashed today as stocks and commodities went through the floor. The Stock Market, an upscale lunch bistro catering to financial district patrons, located at Wall and Broad Streets in lower Manhattan was a total wreck.

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Funny story: Financial Meltdown in Prospect as Panic Takes Hold

Financial Meltdown in Prospect as Panic Takes Hold

In the face of global panic, stock market analysts today warned of further problems to come. "This is no doubt a serious situation," warned fiscal analyst Hernst Sprank, of Deutsch Bank Der Bolloks "for sure, there has been a 62.3% rise in the mea...

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Funny story: Huff/Poo Stock Sinks another 4.5%, Trading Now Just Above Whale Pucky!

Huff/Poo Stock Sinks another 4.5%, Trading Now Just Above Whale Pucky!

The AOL/ HuffPoo hookup is beginning to look more and more like a wet dream than an ideal love story with a happy ending between two enhanced profiles who meet on the internet and then wind up screwing each other to death when they find out the tru...

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Funny story: Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Amid reports of the strengthening U.S. Dollar, and reports of financial market adjustments proposed by Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the price of golf fell significantly in open trading today, forcing at least one man to be rushed to hospit...

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Funny story: Calls for Sexually Transmitted Diseases to be floated on the stock market

Calls for Sexually Transmitted Diseases to be floated on the stock market

For the first time in over a decade there has been a drop in the number of new sexually transmitted infections in England, figures show. The Health Protection Agency says increased screening for diseases like chlamydia has helped. For the first t...

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Funny story: GM Stock Tanks; Obama Plans Fire Sale of Stock Prior to Election; Blames Henry Ford and Ipad!

GM Stock Tanks; Obama Plans Fire Sale of Stock Prior to Election; Blames Henry Ford and Ipad!

President by Default, Barry Obama, continued his losing streak with the announcement he would be stepping down as CEO of Government Motors (GM) after the stock started to crater dropping 10% below it's initial IPO just months ago. Insiders say t...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight Goldfish Corner Sock Futures - Markets Panic

Isle Of Wight Goldfish Corner Sock Futures - Markets Panic

Markets around the world are panicking after it emerged that a group of speculators had cornered the world's sock futures. Prices of socks dropped like a stone when the FTSE opened this morning after a late flurry of selling in eastern markets. Wa...

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Funny story: Gold Man Sacks Little Guy

Gold Man Sacks Little Guy

New York: Just while stocks reached record highs in the Great Recession, investigators revealed today they discovered the secret formula of Gold Man Sacks (GMS): 2+2=5. According to investigators, GMS trained its employees to turn two 2s into 5. GM...

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