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Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Two

Shylock Humes And The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Two

The man who stood in our doorway was breathing heavily. A swarthy, weathered leathery face with a cudgeled nose peered out from beneath a forward-tilted ancient green billycock hat and from between luxuriant long side-whiskers of the sort formerly termed Piccadilly weepers. The dark visage was screwed up as if it faced an Atlantic storm, rather than our humble sitting-room. A shiny, blue serge dou...

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Funny story: The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part VI

The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part VI

As days went by, the boy began to show signs and symptoms of socio-phobia. Having no expertise to treat the boy; he become housebound. However, his mother as usual would open up her poor heart to other females who would recommend various ways of treatments, some similar to the pumpkin remedy. Nevertheless, one day a woman suggested she take the afflicted son to a Jinn-repeller, sorcerer. F...

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Funny story: How to summon Jinn

How to summon Jinn

Place a bowl of crystal clear water before the Jinn-stricken individual; bade him to focus on the water. Have some Peganum harmala seeds burnt onto red hot charcoal to fill the room with the fume. Now, you as the Jinn-repeller shall recite loud the magic words provided herein. Due to magic effect of the words and atmosphere of the room, the Jinn have no choice but to appear in the water, of co...

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Funny story: The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part V

The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part V

Once, when he was only seven years old, he saw a scene that lingered in his mind for years. It happened in a busy market place, of course, without cars of today. People, boys, girls, females and men were shopping. Tethered to the ground were a jenny and a jack ass. The boy like the horde of other shoppers saw the jackass keep sniffing at the jenny's dung and then turning his head and nostrils to...

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Funny story: Short Story: I Know It All

Short Story: I Know It All

John Smith was your average person. He had a job, a life, friends. Just like you and me. Except one thing. He had all the world's information in a sophisticated device - which was only the size of a credit card. His device was shiny, black, and it was his. Whenever the device allowed him to - which was most of the time - he could access trillions of pieces of data with a few taps and clicks...

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Funny story: The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part IV

The Pebble with a Red Streak - Part IV

Of course, none of the remedies worked. If bleeding stopped temporarily, it was due to clotting system. Neither the mother nor the boy knew that during bleeding the head should not be lowered; therefore, a pot was always placed on the floor under the boy's chin to collect the blood to save his only shirt. The boy did not see his father around or visiting him, of which the boy was glad. The boy...

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Funny story: NEQUOIA - a Cure at Last!

NEQUOIA - a Cure at Last!

After 'bipolar' comes a new mental disorder - NEQUOIA. Comes from the Latin "nequeo" meaning "to be impossible". To find out what it was all about I called on Dr. Fritz Krakkers at his clinic in Los Angeles where he and his team do research for several government agencies on mental abnormalities and their cures. His office overlooks the luscious lawns of a nearby golf course and contains all t...

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Funny story: The Pebble with a red streak - Part II

The Pebble with a red streak - Part II

The boy had no choice but to descend the mountain and go home. In fact, he was a dead man walking. His soul was traumatized. He felt like a lost puppy. How could he ever talk, walk or mix with other boys? Naturally, the society, if learned about his being raped, would treat him like dirt. He knew his rapist would soon start blackmailing him, including repeated yielding or otherwise he would th...

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Funny story: The Story of James (Part One)

The Story of James (Part One)

Jake was your average adolescent. He lived in a terraced house on the corner of Harney Boulevard and Mon Street. Jake woke up from bed a few minutes ago, and was stretching. He yawned. Then he stopped. "Who said that?" he asked to an empty room. "The room's not empty; I'm talking to you." He probably was rehearsing for a play. "What play?! I'm talking to you! Oi!" He appeared to be going insane...

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Funny story: Two men forgot-then two men remembered!

Two men forgot-then two men remembered!

A man left home intending to post a letter on his way to a local pub where he'd often 'have lunch'. Having walked down the hill from where he lives for a hundred or so yards he noticed that another man, a complete stranger, was walking up the hill towards him from the opposite direction. When only a couple of yards separated them the man who'd been walking up the hill suddenly stopped, swore at hi...

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Funny story: Future Mag's Short Story: "Pod." Chapter A

Future Mag's Short Story: "Pod." Chapter A

"Sony-Walmart-Vodafone-Google have announced that they have captured the polis of Marseilles in the France district of the European States," blared the radio. Of course, this was of little consolation to me. Back on Earth, I was interested in transnational politics, and especially the fact that Britainico was constantly changing hands between Soongle and Virgin-Tesco-Apple-Peugeot. But not ri...

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Funny story: My Gun is Warm: The Gut-Punching, Dame-Slapping Conclusion

My Gun is Warm: The Gut-Punching, Dame-Slapping Conclusion

Readers just can't get enough of being Jack Hammered. "Give me more!" they say. "Gimme more of the stuff or I'll murder myself, I swear!" Or, "Tell me how it ends, and don't pull any punches. Start talkin', before I start breakin' things." Even dames like it: "Give me more of that sweet, sweaty detective stuff," they say. "Slap me in the face with it until the slaps feel like wet, tender kisses."...

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Funny story: My Gun is Warm Part 2

My Gun is Warm Part 2

When we published the first installment of "My Gun is Warm," the stunning new Jack Hammer thriller, we could have hardly imagined the response. Readers can't get enough of Jack Hammer. One wrote, "I've never experienced such a thrilling tale. I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by a team of walruses." Another wrote, "I couldn't put it down. My old lady tried to distract me her e...

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Funny story: My Gun is Warm

My Gun is Warm

We are proud to present an excerpt from My Gun is Warm, a previously unpublished story by acclaimed detective author Spickey Mullane. My Gun is Warm A Jack Hammer Mystery I threw my toothpick into the gutter and strolled down the street. There was a girl crying her eyes out. I handed her a handkerchief. "Here, babe," I said. "You'll probably ruin...

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Funny story: An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Five

An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Five

An excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons," a novel by Anthony Rosania. Rose Princesses would never have breasts small as hers, far too small for a girl that age, another cause for heartache and some derision. Of course, she knew the boys who were the cream of the crop would not date her at all, unless she put out, and she had put out to a point, loneliness being a terrible thing...

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Funny story: An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Four

An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Four

An excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons," a novel by Anthony Rosania. She thought it was in the mid-nineties at least. And she felt hot and she felt drowsy. She felt like a hollow gourd, and thought it would be nice to live to make it home so she could lie in a hammock strung between two elms in her yard, and sip pink lemonade and relax. Sleep would do her a world of good, in a...

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Funny story: An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Three

An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons" Part Three

An Excerpt From "The Very First Summer of Rebecca Emmons," a novel by Anthony Rosania. Miss Sommers, catching herself not doing so, for it is never wise to let the students get the upper hand, even though they did from time to time, smiled professorially at her, her first line of defense, and unhurriedly walked back the few steps, passing through the sidewalk traffic, to her student. Impatient,...

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