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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 9

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 9

"Boy, are we glad to see you, whoever you are. Shit, I already know who you are. What the hell am I talking about here? You're Abel Zorro Rodriguez, master swordsman and defender of the truth. Glad you showed up when you did Abel." "I'm not glad," says Madame Bitters. Johnny Boy has rolled off her and she feels unfulfilled, like she's been cheated. Angie can't think straight. Her nipples are...

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Funny story: 'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre' Author Rushed to Hospital.

'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre' Author Rushed to Hospital.

The author of popular satirical website TheSpoof.com Magazine article, 'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre' has been rushed to hospital suffering from a totally out of control case of the 'vapours' Not being entirely certain...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 8

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 8

"Oh forget it," Todd sulks. He's pissed because Buck has been making the beast with two backs with his girlfriend, Angie. "I already did," Buck says. "She looked goddamned jam hot in that damp tee-shirt. But she's just a kid really. She needs to do some pelvic floor exercises and work on tightening her grip. If you get my drift." "You bastard!" Angie gasps. "Did I come at an inconvenie...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 7

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 7

"You had sex?" Fran says. "Oh my God!" "Oh yeah," Lola purrs. "It was like a baby's arm clutching an apple. My God, whoever he was he had the right moves." "So what happened to him?" Fran asks, leading her friend to a seat. "I don't know," Lola says. "But if he wants some more I'm definitely up for it." Todd looks on as a fire burns in his soul. His girlfriend is in bed with Buck, the...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part Six

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part Six

The two dead zombies have been removed. The six teens sit, hanging on every word issuing from the mouth of the grizzled warrior known to them only as Buck. Outside the camper, the storm rages. "What exactly is going on here?" Todd ventures. Buck doesn't hear. He's preoccupied with Angie's protruding bullet like nipples and the damp skimpy top covering them. He's thinking of whipped cre...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 5.

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 5.

Camp Gruesome Death: night. "What the hell is this?" Angie, the chick with the mightily impressive top set says as she returns to the camper. In her damp, incredibly revealing tee-shirt. "Why is there a skinned Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie hanging upside down from a rope in the doorway of our camper?" The man known as the Captain, Morse, could possibly have answered the question. But, having m...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 4

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 4

The teens park the camper in an open space by a lake. The storm continues unabated. Thunder rumbles ominously, and lightning bolts scar the night sky. Todd is concerned. This is nothing new. Todd is always concerned about something or other. At this point in time he is concerned because his girlfriend, Angie, who really wants to sing 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor on a karaoke machine somewh...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 3

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 3

Todd screws his eyes up to see whatever he can pick out through the driving rain, which hammers down against the windscreen. Lightning rends the night sky. Thunder rumbles. Todd drives slowly. "If I don't get the chance to sing 'I Will Survive' after all that rehearsing, I'll go fucking postal," Angie whinges. Nick grunts distractedly. He can't get the image of a pool table, a girl wit...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 2

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 2

There is a pregnant silence. A silence broken only by the rumble of thunder. The teens stare at the dead cat with the onion tied to its neck, as it lies inert on the floor. As dead things tend to do. Not surprisingly, the dead cat fails to move. "I wonder what his name was," Fran says in little more than a whisper, utilising a really bad plot device to illustrate the fact that she has a s...

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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part One.

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part One.

Six teens, three guys, three girls in a camper van. Getting away from it all for the weekend in a remote part of the wild British countryside, where you're rarely more than a twenty minute drive from a fast food outlet. It's dark. There is no moon. The rain is hammering down so hard it's bouncing back up three feet or more in the headlight beams. It's like the monsoon has come to the UK.

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Funny story: Giant Killer Snakes Are Booking Tickets On Greyhound

Giant Killer Snakes Are Booking Tickets On Greyhound

El Paso, TX - Giant killer snakes that can easily swallow livestock whole have been booking tickets on Greyhound buses and heading for Florida says Senator Bill Nelson to a congressional panel. "We gotta stop this before somebody gets et (sic)," t...

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Funny story: New High Tech Phone To Make Life Easier For Serial Killers

New High Tech Phone To Make Life Easier For Serial Killers

Nipple, the cell phone manufacturer today announced its new CGI phone, which it is thought will make life much simpler for serial killers. The phone, which uses biometric body scanning technology enables potential serial killers to pick out victim...

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Funny story: Serial Killer Cat Stalks Miami

Serial Killer Cat Stalks Miami

Miami, Fl - A Serial killer cat is stalking Miami and leaving the inhabitants quaking in their flip-flops. Miami-Dade County police have issued an all points bulletin regarding an unregistered Persian that goes by the name of 'Felix'. He is wanted...

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Funny story: Cliff Maxford To Represent Yorkshire Ripper?

Cliff Maxford To Represent Yorkshire Ripper?

Central London, an office overlooking a Starbuck's. Probably - This spoof reporter today met up with an insider from Cliff Maxford's PR empire who informed us that, Yorkshire Ripper Peter Scroteliffe had made 'certain undisclosed propositions' to the...

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Funny story: Serial Killer Escapes from Prison

Serial Killer Escapes from Prison

An infamous serial killer named Waylon Jones has recently escaped from prision. Waylon, or as his friends call him, "The Croc", was discovered missing from his cell in New York State Penitentary last night. Approximately three hours later his signat...

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Funny story: Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Today, notorious Halloween serial killer and subject of a host of Hollywood slashfest movies, Michael Myers made his first ever public announcement. Incarcerated for the most part in the Illinois Department Of Corrections Special Unit For Psychopath...

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Funny story: Friends Say They Never Suspected Neighbor Was Serial Killer

Friends Say They Never Suspected Neighbor Was Serial Killer

In the wake of his capture Monday, serial killer Buford George Jones is being recalled by neighbors as an ordinary type person. "I would have never expected it from Buford", stated one neighbor who's wife and kids apparently ran off to a life of...

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