Washington DC: President Obama has issued an executive order that all US civilian federal employees (civil service, political appointees, elected officials) and military personnel must become monastic (male and female monks) to retain their jobs.
BILLINGSGATE POST - Obama's chief advisor, David Axelrod, told CNN's "State of the Union" today that the President has decided to dissolve the Secret Service and replace it with an Imperial Palace Eunuch Corps. Barney Frank is to be named Eunuch Cza...
Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker. Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a rece...
As guests at the elegant Cartagena's Hotel in Cartagena, Columbia were enjoying quiet drinks and the soft music of a harpist in the hotel lounge, several agents of the US Secret Service burst through the front door of the hotel. "It was like a scene...
Several hours after publicly declaring his opposition to the legalization of such currently prohibited drugs as heroin, cocaine and marijuana, President Barack Obama retracted his anti-legalization statement and told reporters that his administration...
The big news of the weekend once again involved the President of Vice, Joe Biden. This time the attacks were two-pronged. Some might say, much like Biden's tail. In story one, it was learned that last year, the PV earned $20,900 in rental inco...
BILLINGSGATE POST - The eleven Secret Service Agents who were flown back to Washington for allegedly participating in an impromptu toga party with a like number of Columbian coeds, denied that any sexual activity occurred. A spokesperson for the Sec...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden speaking from the White House Rose Garden informed the members of the White House press corps not to be concerned about the so called HookerGate incident. The vice-president stated that President Obama h...
Washington - "A terrible thing to happen in your husband's re-erection - uh...re-election! - year, Ma'am," was how one hang-dog protection officer put it to Michelle Obama this weekend. The First Lady is livid amid reports that a dozen Secret Serv...
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
ROMNEY, WV (ABSNN) Republican front-runner Mitt Romney lost his penis somewhere in Pennsylvania. He blames his Secret Service protection detail. The news of the lost penis was made public this morning in this tiny West Virginia town on the Maryland...
In order to battle the high price of gasoline US President, Barack Obama, announced that his entire entourage of Secret Service Agents and Twitter advisors have replaced all of the current Secret Service vehicles with the fully electric Nissan Leafs.
The secret service in Washington forced a man to lie on the ground and to move away from his backpack after he had jumped the white house fence onto the lawn. CNN was there live to catch the excitement on film, but later learned that the man has don...
Developing Story....American talk show host, Dr. Michael Savage, who has been fighting the ban placed on him by former British Home Secretary wacko, Jacqui Smith, announced today that he has asked friends in the Pentagon to authorize SEAL Team Six to...
Referee Calum Murray, who officiated at the Celtic-Motherwell Scottish Cup Final at Hampden on Saturday, is hanging up his whistle and starting a new career in Pakistan. Murray, who missed 2 blatant hand balls in the final, is to become the new he...
In the days following the attempt on Congresswoman Gabby Giffords life, and threats made against other politicians, the U.S. Secret Service has decided on a new tact, in dealing with dangerous situations. Although Secret Service director, Mr. Harr...
The Queen's recent edict cutting off private security for the Princess Uglies, Beatrice and Eugenie, is causing rising angst to their beleaguered father, Duke of Yuk, who in desperation resorted to the help wanted ads seeking private protection for...
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