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Funny satire stories about Scottish independence

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Funny story: Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

H.R.H. Prince Charles of Wales, tired of waiting to be a Welsh King has sent his LinkedIn C.V. to Alexei Salmon, who Charles thinks may soon be looking for a King if Scotland becomes free. The C.V. is known to point out that Charles, although not bl...

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Funny story: Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotland Tells Obama That If They Get Freedom He Knows Where He Can Stick His Nuclear Arsenal

Scotsmen can defend themselves if they gain their "Freedom" in the referendum and no nuclear weapons will be allowed to park in Lochs or they will be clamped or towed away, a famous Scotsman said this morning. The man, who is famous for being fe...

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Funny story: Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Scottish Independence will have an impact on the world's supply of shortbread, a former confectioner has warned in a stark comment on the Referendum debate. Belgian bakers would "cheer loudest" and "the forces of dark confectionery would simply l...

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Funny story: English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme

English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme

Cuts to the incredibly subsidised Welsh language soap Pobol y Cwumgogogoch have been announced. The weekly omnibus will be cut, along with one of its fifty weekday episodes, and it will be taken off air completely for a wonderful two weeks a year.

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Funny story: New Tick Species Discovered in Scottish Western Highlands

New Tick Species Discovered in Scottish Western Highlands

A significant new species of Blood Sucking Tick has been found embedded in Alex Salmon's elbow. Experts at the indigenous species unit under the Stone of Scone in Holyrood Palace described the discovery as "significant". It is thought to be t...

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Funny story: E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

After Scotland is removed from the U.K. and is pronounced independent, E.U. conservation rules will come into force to protect all Scottish insects, particularly the Highland Midge or Gnat. E.U. police will stand next to roadside Pipers with the powe...

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Funny story: Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

New E.U. Lake Monster regulations taking effect from referendum day 18th September may mean Loch Ness will have to be drained and the monster shortened by 2 metres to bring it in line with 22 other European Lake Monsters, a spokesperson from Brussels...

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Funny story: Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Drones monitoring possible post Scottish Independence alliances have accidentally killed Kim Jong Un's Ambassador to Independent Scotland, Auntie Beryl Un II. President Obama today apologised for the tragic error, saying that U.S. sympathies at rhis...

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Funny story: Independent Scotland Makeover

Independent Scotland Makeover

Independent image consultancy firm, Koch Wan has published the results of its investigation into the acceptable image for a new Scotland. Out with: Scotch eggs, stodgy pies, haggis, whisky, kilts, drunken Glaswegians sleeping in cardboard boxes, k...

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Funny story: Search Continues for Missing Scotland

Search Continues for Missing Scotland

High winds and strong seas are hampering the search for Scotland, which disappeared two weeks ago. Only when Alex Salmond Rushdie, the first minister tried to return home after a garden party at Buckingham Palace did the government notice it was no...

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Funny story: Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

A pledge has been made by Jacobite, Alexei Salmon to make Scotch Whiskey palatable if he is crowned King of Scotland after the Independence vote. Scotland's nasty National beverage which was once used to induce vomiting after cases of poisoning wi...

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Funny story: Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics would not exist in an independent Scotland. The startling revelation was made today in a speech by First Minister Alex Salmond, where he outlined more of his plans for the country in the event of a Yes vote. The shock announcement...

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Funny story: Osbourne Suffers Whiplash

Osbourne Suffers Whiplash

Chancellor of the not-only-English Exchequer George Osbourne has suffered a severe bout of whiplash, courtesy of his considerably hard neck. It is believed it ocurred when insisting that an Independent Scotland would not be allowed to use the Poun...

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Funny story: Scottish Tourist Board unveils Giant Peat Bog to destroy Welsh Bog tourism hopes

Scottish Tourist Board unveils Giant Peat Bog to destroy Welsh Bog tourism hopes

Bog Wars: The latest exciting peat bog finds will be discussed at a four-day conference taking place in the Caledonian Hotel, Edinburgh. Travel and Tourism Representatives from across the EU will be among the 60 delegates. The event, which runs un...

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Funny story: Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up

Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up

Internet bampot and Chief Cybernat Stuart Campbell has been forced into an embarrassing u-turn after his 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books were found to be strewn with errors. The books were launched earlier this week in a blaze of glory, i...

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Funny story: Alastair Darling reveals he is Droopy's lovechild

Alastair Darling reveals he is Droopy's lovechild

In an astonishing revelation, former Chancellor Alistair Darling today announced he is the lovechild of cartoon misery pooch, Droopy. Darling, head of the Better Together campaign, made the startling discovery while filming a new series of 'Who Do...

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Funny story: Glasgow gangs to get protection money to keep oil rig pirates at bay

Glasgow gangs to get protection money to keep oil rig pirates at bay

Oligarch Alexei Salmon may become the new outright owner of Celtic and Rangers football clubs when the North Sea oil is divided up, Scotch gang leaders have announced. His oil rigs and any football clubs will have the "protection" of razor wieldi...

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