Six-year-old Nosy Nora, who plans to be a lawyer when she grows up, was shocked to witness the inappropriate display of affection from her perch on the stairs. She grabbed her iPhone and took a photo, so she could preserve the actions of the sneaky d...
An 18-year-old British teenager threatened to burn down Santa Claus' home and knife his elves after he gave him the wrong kind of trainers for Christmas. Jake Wilder travelled to the North Pole armed with a kitchen knife, screaming at Santa 'I'll...
Startling developments have been underway at the North Pole, recently. Days after the elves resigned, after elf leader, Cedar Snowfluff, took offence at being mistaken for a leprechaun by a drunk Santa, the reindeers have now followed in the elves' s...
This will be the last year that Santa drops off fake "Competition Winner" letters and furniture advertisements with his presents. Mail firms from warmer shores have undercut Santa's delivery deals by using cheap unregistered labor and offering an all...
Syria - There will be trouble in Lapland tonight where emergency response sledges are being kitted out with a 'Trojan Horse' Santaclaus in retalliation for last night's attack. Witnesses say IS jihadis shot down what appeared to be an evil-looking...
In another bid to raise Austerity Taxes, this time seasonal, the Irish Government is looking at charging Santa for every time he crosses the Flight Paths over Dublin and Cork. Given that Santa's Business Itinerary takes in thousands of trips per...
Several well known stores with high profile T.V. Christmas advertisements have reached agreement with bishops in the U.K. to utilise the huge amounts of prime City Centre Cathedral and Church interior and exterior space. Worshippers will be able to...
Furious upper-class families have blasted a Laurence Llewelyn-Ballsack giant 'Magical Inner Journey' grotto as it shut after one day amid claims Santa was a boozy, fornicating bastard, elves participated in a yuletide orgy and swore at sobbing kids!...
NORTH POLE - For the tenth consecutive year, Santa Claus gave out coal and candy canes to trick-or-treaters. Hordes of children and their parents traveled to the North Pole to meet the jolly old man, who happily welcomed each visitor by name.
Michelle Obama is to collect $2 per week from the housewives at the Martha's Vineyard trailer park where she spends her vacations with her husband Barack. The savings are to be paid out at Christmas. "I always do this to help pay for the close kn...
Huntington, W.Va. - A local nine year old girl was arrested yesterday after her parents realized the girl had been faking her belief in Santa Claus as a ruse to get more Christmas presents, and to ensure that the presents she received were more fun.
Santa Claus admitted using Elves and Pixies with no N.I. numbers to an undercover reporter working for The Sunday Leftovers. 100,000 elves were freed by police and granted bail, pending an investigation by Immigration Control. Santa is thought by som...
NEW YORK CITY - Megyn Kelly has been in the news more in just the past few weeks than she has in her entire career. The FOX News talking head, as Vice-President Joe Biden dubbed her, has been criticized and in some cases praised for her outlandish...
As reported in this space a few days ago, NORAD - who tracks the progress of Santa Claus -- almost killed the white-bearded jolly man. Santa, his sleigh and reindeer were on a trial run over the North Pole when they were mistaken for an incoming mi...
Santa has forgotten to deliver his presents this year because his reindeer, Rudolph, went AWOL, so instead of hitching up his reserve reindeer called Reginald, he also went AWOL. Millions of crying kids waiting for Santa to appear with his sack of...
NEW YORK CITY - FOX News reader Megyn Kelly says that she has received more emails, text messages, and phone calls in just the past 48 hours than she has in the previous 12 months. Kelly was having lunch with Savannah Kettle of Glamboyant Magazine...
Major events at North Pole, Inc. are driving speculation about stability at the company. Over the last week, the company has made layoff announcements, had visits from government and business leaders, and met with Sara Palin (see "Sara Palin Visits Santa Claus"). Last week, the stock price fell 8% on fears of that Santa Claus, CEO of North Pole, Inc, cannot do the belt-tightening needed to keep...
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