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Funny satire stories about Roman Abramovich

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Funny story: Underperforming Rafael Benitez Sacked By Chelsea

Underperforming Rafael Benitez Sacked By Chelsea

Chelsea dictator Roman Abramovich has decided to relieve recently appointed manager Rafa Benitez of his duties after no games in charge. The news will come as no shock to most football fans as Abramovich is a notoriously hard man to please, a fact...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez was appointed interim Chelsea manager today following the dramatic sacking of Roberto De Matteo, who in six months as manager had won the FA Cup and Champions League double, but was replaced after a poor run which saw defeats to Manchest...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...

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Funny story: Roman Abramovitch to quit Chelsea after eight years

Roman Abramovitch to quit Chelsea after eight years

After last months nail-biting European Champions League Final where his Chelsea side beat Bayern Munich on penalties, Chelsea star owner Roman Abramovitch has confirmed he is leaving the club. After pumping around £500m into the club since the sum...

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Funny story: Prince Harry And Cheryl Cole Fly Down To Monaco For A Romantic Weekend Break On Roman Abramovich's Yacht

Prince Harry And Cheryl Cole Fly Down To Monaco For A Romantic Weekend Break On Roman Abramovich's Yacht

The latest news to hit the gossip columns suggests that Prince Harry, and former Girls Aloud favourite Cheryl Cole may be an item, after the two were spotted boarding a private jet at Farnborough Airfield, early Saturday evening, allegedly heading fo...

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Funny story: Man Finally Wins Champions League After Playing Championship Manager Computer Game For 20 Years

Man Finally Wins Champions League After Playing Championship Manager Computer Game For 20 Years

A Russian man has finally led his team to winning the European Champions League after playing the realistic and addictive Championship Manager Computer game for 20 years! Ruslan Chekov took over as manager of Premier League outfit Chelsea in 1992...

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Funny story: Chelsea Bid for Power Station as Defensive Crisis Mounts

Chelsea Bid for Power Station as Defensive Crisis Mounts

Chelsea have lodged a "substantial" bid for the defunct Battersea power station as injuries and suspensions continue to decimate the heart of their defence. Chelsea chairman Bruce Buck revealed that the situation was increasingly becoming unsolvab...

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Funny story: Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...

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Funny story: Roman Abramovich decides on new Chelsea manager

Roman Abramovich decides on new Chelsea manager

Roman Abramovich shocked the world of football today by announcing that he would do the job of Chelsea manager himself. After sacking young pup Andre Villas-Boas on sunday after a 1-0 defeat at West Bromwich Albion, the media immediately threw the...

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Funny story: Abramovich sacked more managers than Andre Villas-Boas had hot dinners!

Abramovich sacked more managers than Andre Villas-Boas had hot dinners!

Chelsea boss, Roman Abramovich, loves chopping heads off, in fact any manager who risks the wrath of the impatient Russian billionaire will be led to the chopping block and served up on his golden plate, cost what it will! His latest victim Andre...

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Funny story: Katie Price In The Running For Chelsea Job

Katie Price In The Running For Chelsea Job

Former tits out model Katie Price, AKA Jordan, has thrown her pink hat into the ring by declaring herself interested in succeeding Andre Villas-Boas as Chelsea manager. The west London club axed AVB after a dismal eight months in charge of the ail...

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Funny story: Back my vision by emptying Stamford Bridge on matchdays, AVB tells Abramovich

Back my vision by emptying Stamford Bridge on matchdays, AVB tells Abramovich

Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas has urged owner Roman Abramovich to back his blueprint for the long-term future of the club by insisting all matches played at Stamford Bridge be completely free of home fans. The Portuguese feels a lack of suppor...

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Funny story: Carry On Up The Capello.

Carry On Up The Capello.

John Terry has paid tribute to Fabio Capello and expressed his personal regret at losing the England captaincy . "The eyetie stood down in protest at how the FA treated me. I expect everyone in the country to follow his example and resign from th...

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Funny story: Chelsea appoint new coaching staff to pile pressure on Andre Villas-Boas

Chelsea appoint new coaching staff to pile pressure on Andre Villas-Boas

Following another disappointing premier league result, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch heaped more pressure on manager Andre Villas-Boas yesterday by forcing him to appoint three extra coaches to his backroom team. Significantly, many say, two of the...

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Funny story: Chelsea boss Villas-Boas thinks Premier League should field "B" sides in Football League

Chelsea boss Villas-Boas thinks Premier League should field "B" sides in Football League

Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas thinks English football should seriously consider following the Spanish model by allowing Premier League clubs to field "B" sides in the Football League - or even permitting the purchase of smaller rivals for use as fee...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Villas-Boas denies Chelsea will sell Torres in January

Transfer Window: Villas-Boas denies Chelsea will sell Torres in January

Chelsea manager Andre Villa-Boas has denied the club will sell £50million flop striker Fernando Torres in the January transfer window. "It's an ABSOLUTE LIE" AVB grumbled into a microphone shoved into his face after another failure to pick up thre...

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Funny story: Abramovich tells his stalker the truth about Torres

Abramovich tells his stalker the truth about Torres

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich came face to face with a stalker after the girl got past security on his yacht. The girl was armed with only a pen and begged the Russian millionaire to sign his name between her legs! He refused despite the girl beggin...

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