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Funny satire stories about Rick Santorum

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Funny story: Rick Santorum: "Boys rule!"

Rick Santorum: "Boys rule!"

The Associated Press is reporting this morning that Presidential candidate Rick Santorum opened his remarks to a large crowd of supporters yesterday by saying, "Boys rule!" The attendees were made up equally of men and women who looked to their husba...

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Funny story: News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees. Women...

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Funny story: Romney: "If Rick Santorum says he is a person too, I'll take his word for it!"

Romney: "If Rick Santorum says he is a person too, I'll take his word for it!"

Mitt Romney released a statement this morning that had politicians, the media, and the general public perplexed. The Associated Press is reporting that the comment came without provocation and the accompanying remarks appeared to be a new low in the...

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Funny story: Birth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God

Birth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God

Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...

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Funny story: Santorum Prohibits Possession of Birth Control Pills at Campaign Events

Santorum Prohibits Possession of Birth Control Pills at Campaign Events

RED BANK, NJ (AP) Former senator Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) drew criticism from both wings of the political bird yesterday when his campaign spokesman, Cardinal Ignatius Glick, held a news conference to announce that no birth control pills would...

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Funny story: Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Risk Sanatorium, trying to be the strong conservative in the GOP Primary sweepstakes, picked up on the announcement from the Pentagon that more women in US armed forces will be serving in the front line. "Oh no!" he exclaimed, "This is not the w...

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Funny story: Santorum Now a Contender: Santorum and Romney to Star in Broadway Revival of "Carrie"

Santorum Now a Contender: Santorum and Romney to Star in Broadway Revival of "Carrie"

With a new head of steam from his three electoral victories on Tuesday night, Rick Santorum is daring to think what might have been unthinkable just a week ago and remains improbable - particularly from a costume perspective - that he can dispatch Ne...

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Funny story: Santorum opposes abortion even in cases of alien abduction

Santorum opposes abortion even in cases of alien abduction

HARRISBURG, PA - GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum further dug a hole for himself this week after telling reporters that he opposes terminating a pregnancy even if an alien impregnated a woman. Asked what he would say if his own daughter ap...

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Funny story: US Republican candidate to be decided by toss of coin

US Republican candidate to be decided by toss of coin

After months of to-ing and fro-ing, mud slinging and tv debates, the head honcho's in the Republican party have decided the fairest way to select a candidate for the Presidential nomination is the good ole fashion toss of a coin. A party insider t...

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Funny story: Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia, the Internet Sexual Proclivity site, has provided a unique analysis of yesterday's South Carolina GOP Presidential race. Through its exit poll analysis, Sexipedia researchers claim that they have dissected South Carolinians' presidential preferences (1= most preferred; 4= least preferred) based upon their rather diverse sexual proclivities. Those who enjoy carnal relations with firs...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul

Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul

Political Facebook Mitt Romney: Hi Ron, well it's been quite a week huh? With Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry dropping out that now leaves only four of us in the GOP presidential race. 2:11 p.m. Ron Paul: Yes it does Mitt old boy. But I really have a feeling that old slick Rick Santorum will be dropping out pretty soon. 2:16 p.m. Mitt Romney: What makes you say that? 2:21 p.m. Ron Paul:...

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Funny story: It's Official: Romney a Robot

It's Official: Romney a Robot

Sources within Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's campaign today acknowledged what most Americans have long believed: Romney is a robot. When asked to comment on the report at a Tallahassee, Florida, Jiffy Lube where his car was inex...

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Funny story: Jon Huntsman Reveals The Real Reason Why He Dropped Out of The GOP Presidential Race

Jon Huntsman Reveals The Real Reason Why He Dropped Out of The GOP Presidential Race

MYRTLE BEACH, South Carolina - Well to quote a line from the famous song "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen, Jon Huntsman, the former governor of the state of Utah has dropped out of the GOP presidential race leaving five Republican hopefuls left.

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Funny story: Rick Santorum Evades Fire and Brimstone for Now But Faces Christ's Wrath in a Lawsuit

Rick Santorum Evades Fire and Brimstone for Now But Faces Christ's Wrath in a Lawsuit

Editor's Note: When I couldn't nail Jesus Christ down for an interview, I asked him to submit a guest column. On Monday, Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit against "Jesus Candidate", Rick Santorum, citing, "….fraudulent impersonation with intent to gain power over the feeble minded citizens of the Kingdom known as the United States of America…" My Brothers and Sisters: By now you know that circums...

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Funny story: Kanye West Develops Economic Recovery Plan for Rick Santorum

Kanye West Develops Economic Recovery Plan for Rick Santorum

Soon after West's announcement for the creation of a multi-national, multi-divisional think tank, manufacturing and service based organization, Rick Santorum recruited West to be his chief economic advisor. The DONDA Company was conceived by Kanye...

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Funny story: Santorum Celebrates Caucus Win with 2 Week Old Chicken Fetus

Santorum Celebrates Caucus Win with 2 Week Old Chicken Fetus

Rick Santorum, gitty from last night's Caucus win in Iowa asks a local farmer to provide him a chicken fetus to sing songs to and cuddle over night in hotel room. J.R. McDonald, 92 yrs old Northern Iowa farmer, was taken aback at first when Rick m...

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Funny story: Rick Santorum Informs Des Moines First Graders that Their Classmate Gino Demario is Deformed

Rick Santorum Informs Des Moines First Graders that Their Classmate Gino Demario is Deformed

Des Moines, LA - For someone who has never set foot in a school, Rick Santorum seemed to be in his element in Miss Hess's first grade classroom. Friday's visit to Miss Hess's first grade classroom at Riverside Elementary School in Des Moines marked...

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