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Funny satire stories about Red Sox Nation

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Funny story: King John Henry Orders Beckett's Head on a Platter!

King John Henry Orders Beckett's Head on a Platter!

Around 1202 in merry olde England when politics and challenging the king was dangerous business, the first Becket went the way of sainthood prematurely. In merry olde Boston in 2012, King John Henry VIII of the Boston Red Sox Nation has ordered hi...

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Funny story: Munchkins Drop a House on Beckett, Crawford & Gonzalez

Munchkins Drop a House on Beckett, Crawford & Gonzalez

The Red Sox GM has been disparaged and disrespected this season nearly as much as David Ortiz. This week, however, the worm turned. And, for that matter so did Ben Cherington. A few cynical fans thought the Red Sox front office were simply a bu...

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Funny story: Bell Tolls for Alfredo Aceves

Bell Tolls for Alfredo Aceves

Our favorite moralist, Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine, pronounced that it was simple to know the difference between right and wrong. Spoken a day after the biggest Red Sox trade in history (a rival to Babe Ruth's departure), Valentine's words app...

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Funny story: Red Sox on Bridge of San Luis Rey When It Collapses

Red Sox on Bridge of San Luis Rey When It Collapses

The metaphoric tale of a bridge one year in the Andes Mountains may apply to the Boston Red Sox during this bridge year. In 1714 the San Luis Rey Bridge collapsed, killing five people. Thornton Wilder wrote his cautionary tale about the fate of so...

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Funny story: Red Sox Version of Hunger Games

Red Sox Version of Hunger Games

In a dystopian league's future, the totalitarian Red Sox Nation is divided between manager, front office and 25 factions among the team. Each year the highest paid player must demand to meet with the ownership to demand the firing of the current...

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Funny story: Red Sox Improve Fan Vocabulary

Red Sox Improve Fan Vocabulary

The most popular word in Boston this summer is dysfunctional. Thanks to the Boston Red Sox, American League sports fans have a richer lexicon. We now know that when people talk, and no one is listening, that's dysfunctional. When BobbyValentine...

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Funny story: Root Causes of Red Sox Star Carl Crawford's Bad Luck

Root Causes of Red Sox Star Carl Crawford's Bad Luck

Carl Crawford has been playing with a bad elbow. He may need surgery that will jeopardize at least part of next season, making three lost seasons of his seven-year contract. Carl must have broken a mirror the day he signed the Red Sox contract.

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Funny story: Three on a Match: Red Sox Owners Sit Together

Three on a Match: Red Sox Owners Sit Together

The Red Sox ownership in a gesture of solidarity sat together at Camden Yards to watch their team not go down for the third time in Baltimore. The three men in white dress shirts (for that comfortable look) sat side-by-side, like Three Amigos read...

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Funny story: Red Sox Owner John Henry Channels Marie Antoinette

Red Sox Owner John Henry Channels Marie Antoinette

The Boston Red Sox have set a new record for members of media and team whistling past the graveyard. Putting on a happy face has never been quite as ugly as this week when backstabbing players started singing a different tune. They were not such b...

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Funny story: Munchkins Look to the Skies for Relief from Bobby Valentine

Munchkins Look to the Skies for Relief from Bobby Valentine

If you heard any talk-master on Boston radio this week, you know that the medical and managerial condition of Bobby Valentine is grave. The media has been licking its chops, anticipating the gravy. The Sox manager surely has dyspepsia and sever...

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Funny story: Pedro Ciriaco Makes Like Ty Cobb for the Red Sox

Pedro Ciriaco Makes Like Ty Cobb for the Red Sox

In a season of many ugly disappointments, the Red Sox seem to have found a silver lining to the cumulus-bearing deluge clouds. Rookie Pedro Ciriaco has emerged as the best candidate to be the 21st century Ty Cobb-or this year's Lu Clinton.

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Funny story: Wally the Green Monster Abduction Off the Wall

Wally the Green Monster Abduction Off the Wall

When Wally the Green Monster was reported missing on a warm Saturday afternoon while the Red Sox went out of town on a trip to the Big Apple, the Sox began to reveal the behind-the-scenes life of a team mascot. Was it an escape? or a hostage situa...

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Funny story: Starring Bobby Valentine in Death of a Salesman

Starring Bobby Valentine in Death of a Salesman

Playwright Arthur Miller probably never envisioned a sports version of his great play Death of a Salesman, but the Boston Red Sox are putting it on for limited performances in 2012 at Broadway on Fenway. The road show is even more tragic than the...

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Funny story: Rebirth and Reclamation for Carl Crawford

Rebirth and Reclamation for Carl Crawford

Not to be confused with a resurrection of Carl Crawford, back from the dead, the Red Sox outfielder now bats second and steals bases again. It seems to be a miracle of Biblical proportions. Crawford's journey may not yet be finished, but suddenly...

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Funny story: 'J.D. Drew Flu' Strikes Out the Red Sox

'J.D. Drew Flu' Strikes Out the Red Sox

David Ortiz looked into his crystal ball and pronounced, "it can't get no worse," after dropping three out of four games to the dreaded New York Yankees. Then baseball gods found his Achilles' heel. It just got worse, Big Papi. If Ortiz starts put...

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Funny story: Indiana Jones Hired to Find the Lost Red Sox

Indiana Jones Hired to Find the Lost Red Sox

Larry Lucchino is one of the high muckety-mucks at the Boston Red Sox. His exact title is unknown due to the covert nature of his position with the team. Word has leaked that Lucchino has asked GM Ben Cherington to sign Indiana Jones to find the L...

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Funny story: Rainmakers Call for Human Sacrifice to End Red Sox Problems

Rainmakers Call for Human Sacrifice to End Red Sox Problems

Everyone talks about the weather, but no one can do anything about it. The same axiom applies to the Red Sox. Everyone complains about the team, but the ownership won't do anything about it. The cloudburst over their heads may last through Septemb...

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