QPR captain Joey Barton is contemplating (mmm - that's quite newsworthy in itself!), well, 'considering' legal action. He reckons he could sue the referee for his actions in last week's game against Norwich City. "It's the way he flashed hi...
The British public should be granted the legal right to sue the mid-wife who successfully cleared the airways of the newborn Queens Park Rangers midfielder, Joey Barton, according to everyone polled. 100% of the population asked whether they agree...
WHILE Joey Barton took to Twitter last night to hit out at Bradley Johnson, the Norwich star found a novel way of responding. The pair clashed as the Canaries beat QPR at Loftus Road on Monday with Barton being sent off for an alleged headbutt.
Queens Park Rangers' Adel Taarabt and Arsenal's Marouane Chamakh are both included in Morocco's 23-man squad for the Africa Cup of Nations finals. Chamakh has been selected despite only managing to eat a tagine just once in eight starts for Arsena...
Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League. "Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...
The football world was left dazed and confused this week after the untimely death of the legendary philosopher Socrates. Born in 469 BC, Socrates was named after the charismatic footballer Socrates who captained Brazil in the 1982 and 1986 World...
QPR manager Neil Warnock was left seething after the Premier League refused his request to bring in a goalkeeper on an emergency loan following injuries to Paddy Kenny and understudy Brian Murphy. "Paddy has got an enlarged Gluteus Maximus and his...
A heavily moustached QPR team had to man up and suck up the hairy banter when they fronted up against an ugly Stoke side on Saturday. "I told the lads before the game that they looked like a load of gay porn stars and that The Britannia Stadium i...
QPR fans are chewing over the formation of their manager's new teeth. "Sir Neil's Hampsteads don't seem to fit, he looks like Dick Emery's vicar" proclaimed lifelong QPR fan Ginger Vitis, a dental hygienist from East Acton. Warnock guided his...
Neil Warnock has admitted he never thought he would settle in London, but has been pleasantly surprised. "I love London. Everyone said it's full of twats, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I moved my family into a nice 3-bed maisonette...
Queens Park Rangers Football club may be moving to Heathrow airport if plans go ahead. The airport authority plan to sell off some land at the airport and the club is said to be very interested in buying the land. CEO Philip Beard said, "We will...
Players and fans of Manchester City sat back and enjoyed a sparkling Guy Fawkes party with QPR at Loftus Road on Sunday. "They are the best team we have played this season and it was a pleasure to be outclassed by a top quality side after getting...
Harry Redknapp and Neil Warnock dished up a load of old rabbit after Tottenham Hotspur's lucky victory against QPR on Sunday. "I thought we were t'rific today" said 'Arry. "Luka Modric was t'rific. I love Luka. Scottie Parker was double t'rific. I...
John Terry has categorically denied having a porcupine on his head during Chelsea's shock defeat at QPR. In a carefully worded statement, John Terry told a reporter "It's not a fucking porcupine you cunt." The FA are investigating the porcupi...
Chelsea skipper John Terry has insisted he did not make an intelligent comment during Chelsea's comprehensive defeat by a classy and witty QPR team at Loftus Road yesterday. Videos posted on the internet claim to show JT mouthing the words "Nietzs...
QPR manager Neil Warnock has helped come to the rescue of Adel Taarabt's near-poverty status by recording a song to raise funds for his talented talisman. "I understand living in London on twenty five grand a week can be tough, little wonder Adel...
English thespian Colin Firth is nailed on to win an Oscar for his sensitive portrayal of Colonel Gaddafi. The film, Gaddafi With The Golden Gun, based on the novel by Ian Phlegm, has won rave reviews from critics, even though it has not yet been...
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