Hey! Listen up, you poor, miserable, deluded little satire writers. You guys thought you could make fun of the old Trump here, you thought I was just like all the other guys, right? Yeah, I know what you guys do. I know your style. You did it to Clinton. You did to Bush. You're doing it to Obama. And somehow, you poor, pitiful little satire scribblers and jaded comedy jacks thought you cou...
Using his immense persuasive powers and a couple of spare billion dollars, Donald Trump has embarked to become President of either Mexico or the US this decade. Trump explained at a press conference this morning. "The way I see it, it doesn't ma...
Billionaire businessman and presidential hopeful Donald Trump is not going to wait until the 2016 Presidential election to launch his reelection campaign. He figures starting now will give him a head start on the 2020 campaign and will make getting...
Adding to the growing list of franchise names running for President, Ronald McDonald announced his campaign for the highest office in the land. When asked why he would make such a move, the clown responded, "I figured with the other candidates tha...
Rafael Edward Cruz, a first-term Senator from Texas, dispensing with any exploratory phase for his Presidential aspirations, delivered a formal speech during the weekly convocation at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia yesterday. The Bapti...
Atlantic City, New Jersey -- Casino kingpin and reality TV star Donald Trump has put together an "exploratory committee" that will help him determine whether or not to run for President. Here are 10 things you have to look forward to if the panel gives him the green light: 1. His wig will have its own motorcade. 2. Expressing a preference for staying alive, Trump refuses Secret Service prote...
Buoyed by the phenomenal success of the top-secret federal court that oversees government surveillance, President Obama, in a bold executive move, recently instituted another special court, this one devoted exclusively to the interpretation of campai...
Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown is continuing his indecisive behavior and believes that voters will embrace it during the next election. Which election? Well, he is undecided on that as well. Throughout his short time in the US Senate, Br...
WASHINGTON - "The campaign trail never ends", said campaign strategist Jennifer O'Hair in a Whitehouse interview last Thursday. She, among other professionals, has been working relentlessly since Obama's inauguration in January to uncover campaign...
San Diego, CA - Mitt Romney slouched in his overstuffed chair at Boston's Fairmont Hotel on election night, watching the results come in on Fox news. Aids pandered him with praise and false patronage, as his chances of world domination slipped throug...
YPSILANTI, Michigan - Paul Ryan's Widow's Peak Vice-Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Ypsilanti and the second that Ryan got off the bus he immediately went into a song and dance speech regarding the singer known as Madonna. Political Sal...
WHIPPLE, Ohio - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into the town where beer coasters were invented. A crowd of 29 individuals had gathered in the morning dew to hear Old Mittens speak in the parking lot of a local...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hey Joey, did you see who "Old Mittens" finally picked to be his vice-presidential running mate? 8:01 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Yeah Barry, I just heard about it on CNN. And let me say that today is our lucky day. 8:05 a.m. President Obama: You got that right bud. Paul Ryan? Can you believe that out of all of the fairly good choices the old Mormon ha...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Roseanne Barr had just finished her last stand up comedy routine at The Laughing Beaver Comedy Club when she sat down with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine. Roseanne told Miss Tallyho that since she has been living on...
NAUGATUCK, Connecticut - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour made a stop in the lovely New England town of Naugatuck, Connecticut. Naugatuck is noted for being the home of the fuchsia-breasted sap sucker, an unusual bird...
Washington DC - Deputy White House Press Secretary, Alfonzo Alamoso Arogola Rodriquez Somafeliea, announced today that all Mexicans would be able to participate in the Presidential election by remote ballot. As an added bonus for those who parti...
NARRAGANSETT, Rhode Island - The former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney brought his "Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour" to the town that Peruvian poet Claudio Cuervo made famous in his "Ode To My Second Wife Mimosa's Mirthfully Me...
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