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Funny story: The Secret Poisons Hidden In Your Vitamins

The Secret Poisons Hidden In Your Vitamins

Do you take daily multivitamin supplements to better your health? What about your kids? Well, chances are you and your kids may be intaking the same deadly poisons found in cigarettes.

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Funny story: Apartheid police chief laced activitst's pants with arsenic

Apartheid police chief laced activitst's pants with arsenic

Pretoria, South Africa - (Arse Mess): A former South African police minister and his ex-police chief pleaded guilty today to an innovative attempt to murder black anti-apartheid activist Frank Chikane by lacing his pants with arsenic.

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Funny story: Gas & Poison (Sketch)

Gas & Poison (Sketch)

Joan has popped to the retirement home to see her mother Mary. Mary is in the television room with several other residents. Joan takes a seat next to her.

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Funny story: Soldiers file depleted uranium lawsuit against the military

Soldiers file depleted uranium lawsuit against the military

Victims of depleted uranium poisoning have filed suit against the government for inadequately warning them of the inherent dangers involved in using their ordnance.

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Funny story: Military's new ninja school draws protests

Military's new ninja school draws protests

The State Department's new Martial Arts Campus located near Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University has come under fire from activists who claim they're training people to murder.

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Funny story: U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

After a series of grizzly attacks of swimmers along America's East Coast beaches by mammoth, flesh-hungry plankton, the Army issued a statement today denying that the mutant sea creatures were linked to the dumping of 64 million pounds of nerve a...

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Funny story: FDA Warns Public Against Deadly Poison Aspartame

FDA Warns Public Against Deadly Poison Aspartame

WASHINGTON (AP) - FDA Chief Ralph Roachman has warned the American public "against eating Aspartame or getting any on your hands," the distinguished bureaucrat cautioned at a news conference.

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Funny story: Boots Accused Of "High Street Chemical Warfare"

Boots Accused Of "High Street Chemical Warfare"

Pharmaceutical giant Boots the Chemist has today denied claims that they are using underhand methods to attract customers.

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Funny story: Cancer link with Catholic faith?

Cancer link with Catholic faith?

Dangerous Dioxin Levels Found in L.A. Communion Wafers...

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Funny story: Rat Poison Found in Karl Rove's Wet Food

Rat Poison Found in Karl Rove's Wet Food

Representatives from Menu Foods have disputed claims that the "Tasty Fixins In Sauce" Karl Rove is known to indulge in was tainted with rat poison.

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Funny story: Menu Foods to Release new Line of Pet Food Without all the Renal Failure

Menu Foods to Release new Line of Pet Food Without all the Renal Failure

Menu Foods, of Ontario Canada, this week announced a new lineup of pet food products, many of which cause little or no renal failure.

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Funny story: California judge awards 11 million dollars in cockroach-yogurt case

California judge awards 11 million dollars in cockroach-yogurt case

A federal judge in Sacramento, California has ordered Gaggot & Maggers Biological Supplies of Palo Alto to pay $11.5 million in damages and interest to a customer who found a glob of yogurt in a container of cockroaches. G&M, which distributes disse...

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Funny story: Top nuke spook dumped after Los Alamos Polonium theft linked to ex-KGB spy's death

Top nuke spook dumped after Los Alamos Polonium theft linked to ex-KGB spy's death

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The head of the National Nuclear Security Administration, Linton Brooks, has been dumped by US Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman after the theft of Polonium 210 from the Los Alamos Laboratory found its way into a lethal dose...

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Funny story: Suffolk Ripper is the new Polonium

Suffolk Ripper is the new Polonium

Ipswich - (Ass Mess): Journalists hunting the latest scare story to terrorise the UK have admitted that the Suffolk Ripper, as he/she is being called after five women were found murdered in the Ipswich area, may be the latest twist in the Polonium ho...

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Funny story: NSA: EVERYONE has been Poisoned by the KGB

NSA: EVERYONE has been Poisoned by the KGB

Following today's revelation that former Soviet contact Dmitry Kovtun fell into a coma after testing positive for polonium-210 poisoning the National Security Agency reluctantly told Americans "the bad news first". During a 12 minute r...

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Funny story: Green Onions Cause Taco Bell E-Coli Outbreak

Green Onions Cause Taco Bell E-Coli Outbreak

The cause of the Taco Bell E-Coli outbreak has been traced to green onions possibly imported from Mexico. In response, the fast food chain has pulled all onions from all of its United States locations. Chemical analysis of the product shows traces...

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Funny story: Russian Ambassador Grows Second Head

Russian Ambassador Grows Second Head

The Russian ambassador to the UK, Anatoly Buggarrov was admitted to hospital yesterday after he began to develop a second head.

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