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Funny satire stories about Poetry

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Funny story: I'm A Celebrity Chef...Get Me Out Of Here.

I'm A Celebrity Chef...Get Me Out Of Here.

The nation's food fans all gasped in amazement There were queues for miles all along the pavement The day that the feted celebrity chefs Met a fate at the fete that was much worse than death Although the sous chefs were usually expedient They had miscalculated, run out of ingredients And so as not to inconvenience the fans It was decided to fill all the woks and the pans With the...

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Funny story: Halloween Poetry Has Local Housewives Flustered

Halloween Poetry Has Local Housewives Flustered

Local housewives were left flustered last night thanks to schoolboys and their enthusiasm for Halloween larks. Answering the door to suspected trick-or-treaters the women were, in stead, surprised to be regaled with romantic poetry. "It all sta...

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Funny story: My life as a man #24

My life as a man #24

All is the way it should be! In the heart of every West Virginian is a storyteller. Our most famous spinner of yarns was the incomparable Pearl S. Buck. And while I'm no Pearl Buck; I do spin yarns. In my heart, dear readers, lives a poet. Unfortunately for you folks, that verser is a failed poet. My haiku is astoundingly bad. My free verse should be chained and hidden in a forgotten...

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Funny story: Cyrus out--Watson in as star of Bonnie & Clyde miniseries

Cyrus out--Watson in as star of Bonnie & Clyde miniseries

APACHE DUNGHEAP, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - Miley Cyrus backed out of negotiations to play the infamous Bonnie Parker in the upcoming Lifetime Network miniseries Bonnie & Clyde. English actress Emma Watson has signed to replace Cyrus. "It wasn'...

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Funny story: The Turner Prize

The Turner Prize

The Turner Prize by Rob Barratt No Turners at the Turner Just Tracey bloody Emin No masterful masterpieces Just masturbating women No salty simmering seascapes No homebound fishing trawler Just the naked fore and aft Of an amateurish scrawler No mystical mist across the Thames No spiralling seabirds Just languid linear bodies Described by misspelt words For me she puts artisti...

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Funny story: U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

The U.S. Senators gathered for today's floor debate unexpectedly and unintentionally broke out into verse in the middle of their proceedings. The following is the official Congressional transcript of what occurred. CONGRESSIONAL RECORD PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION WASHINGTON, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 2012 SENATE MORNING BUSINESS The Senate met at 10...

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Funny story: Edward Lear: The Dorking Poems, Pt I

Edward Lear: The Dorking Poems, Pt I

Another selection from the fruitful harvest of Lear's Dorking years A deluded young vicar of Dorking Put a hen on his arm to go hawking. Though he hawked day and night, The prey simply took fright At the hen's dreadful flapping and squawking. A Mole Valley farmer one day Resolved he would live upon hay, So he sat on a cow And repeated his vow, Saying 'here with the catt...

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Funny story: Distressed

Distressed

My furniture is all distressed It's unusually unstable The oak bookcase is quite depressed As is the coffee table The worktop has a thin veneer It seethes beneath the surface The taps know how low they can sink And think life has no purpose The painted window frame's been stripped... Of dignity. It's lacquered The blue front door's morale has dipped The cheese board is cream-cracker...

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Funny story: Local poet produces another collection

Local poet produces another collection

Great Yarmouth poet Ann Thology has just published yet another collection of verbose poetry. Entitled "More Gushing", all the poems involve the central theme of overflowing phrases. Ann Thology's poetry is fully enriched with emotional outpouring...

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Funny story: Ode to an Anal Annoyance

Ode to an Anal Annoyance

An Ode About a Certain Malevolent Condition that has Acquired a Pathogenicity that Threatens Mankind Across the Globe as It affects the Bowels of Those Who are Afflicted with its Curse Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Hondo Thwaite, Esq. to His Most Excellent, Gracious Majesty, Dionysius XII, as He Recovers from a Facial Bligh...

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Funny story: David Cameron asks, and gets answers in Rhyme

David Cameron asks, and gets answers in Rhyme

"Who is the best Minister in my government?" said Cameron, "who's also a multi-millionaire?......" "Me me!" shouted Willy Hague, waving his brassiere in the air, "And I'm also bendable, and a billionaire!" Nick Clegg raised his hand, "Me, and even as your lackey I'm still debonair!" "But in case I'm not right, I'll set up a questionnaire!" George Osborne lied again, saying he was cleve...

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Funny story: Ode's to Famous Dead People: Book 3

Ode's to Famous Dead People: Book 3

Seve Balleisteros: You've played your last eighteen. Strolled your last green. If there is a golf course in heaven. Will you use the number seven. By Arnold Mitercrump. Florida Osama Bin Laden: You ugly bearded bastard. Copt it from the Yanks. Did you hear the missile. Before it hit you on the head. By Col. Percy Pummel. Saffron Waldon Dom DeLuise: You mad...

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Funny story: Odes to famous dead people: Book 2

Odes to famous dead people: Book 2

Pete Postlethwaite: You were a highly studied actor. your films were very good. I wish you had won an oscar. Your photo is on my Nans shelf. By Oswald Gentry. Glasgow Patriarch Alexy 11: You gave some nice sermons. People listened when you spoke. Now that you are in heaven. Do you still have the long coat? By Yuri Barbetov. Moscow Joan Of Arc: As a young girl. Yo...

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Funny story: Odes to Famous Dead People: Book 1

Odes to Famous Dead People: Book 1

Jimmy Saville: You have smoked your last cigar Jimmy. It's time to leave the disco floor. The marathon ends in heaven. You won't have to knock on the door. By Mrs Futtle Ferang. Hampshire Betty Driver: You have cooked your last hotpot Betty. It is time to leave the pub. No more pints to pull. Jesus is waiting for you. He has kept you your own bar stool. By Mr Fred Futtle.

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Funny story: Observations on the Coalition Government - in rhyme

Observations on the Coalition Government - in rhyme

This ode about MPs might just make you affright, In fiddling, lying, and nepotism they delight, MPs consume Caviar and not toast and Marmite, Their cons and excuses for fiddling are so erudite, They vary in loyalties and actions, from Thatcherite, Communist, Tree-huggers, Luddite's, and the odd Jacobite, Even the odd honest one, playwright or transvestite, They steal and fiddl...

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Funny story: Languid language languishes

Languid language languishes

Language is in a constant state of flux What was common 500 years ago will now get you some funny looks This has been the subject of a great many books Discussing how they made a verb out of a word like ducks But for these tomes, they'll charge you fifty bucks And this piece is free, but not as comprehensive We can use words to shine light into tiny nooks And scare away some metaphorical...

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Funny story: My Futile Search

My Futile Search

This is self-explanatory! My Futile Search I'm told there is talent in our political system But I've looked pretty hard and it seems that I've missed 'em I took myself off through the corridors of power It made me depressed and got worse by the hour 'Cos all of the members to whom I was presented Acted like kids or were clearly demented The place was just full of these crushing old bor...

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