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Funny satire stories about Physics

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Funny story: Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress America's Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act

Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress America's Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act

Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser. "What is your name?" asked Piers Morgan of this wild-eyed man. In a Swedish accent, the man gave his name, "I am Arcus Temporis and I am 87 years olt," he said as he took in the huge crowd he stood before. "And...

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Funny story: Israeli Physicists Denied Place in Book of World Records

Israeli Physicists Denied Place in Book of World Records

Book of World Records adjudicator, Martin Cransky, was sent to Israel to certify that two Israeli physicists have achieved a world record of entangling or inextricably linking five light particles that possess what they call a "weird feature of super...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber vs Stephen Hawking

Justin Bieber vs Stephen Hawking

A cataclysmic feud has begun this week between the biggest force in hip hop and the immovable object of physics. Justin Bieber vs Steven Hawking is a true example of an unstoppable force, meeting an immovable object. It started early this week whe...

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Funny story: Headlights slow cars down

Headlights slow cars down

Most drivers will agree, getting home from work when it's raining takes longer. They will also admit that the same is true when it is dark, foggy or snowing. The Highways Agency got a team of scientists from the University of Bristol to find out w...

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Funny story: Second Law Of Thermodynamics Calls Out Firefighters Yet Again

Second Law Of Thermodynamics Calls Out Firefighters Yet Again

In the third roll-out of the shift on Tuesday, Passaic firefighters were called out on a two alarm on Johnson Ave/Higgs St. area. By the time trucks arrived on the scene the ever present law of physics had fully engulfed the two story structure.

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Funny story: Physicists "Had Enough of Quantum Physics"

Physicists "Had Enough of Quantum Physics"

Despite the excitement being generated in some quarters by the Large Hadron Collider, the Internationaler Symposion Von Quantum Physic which took place in nearby Geneva this week declared in a statement to the press "Bugger quantum theory. Bugger it.

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Funny story: Dr. Sam Beckett leaps into murder victim

Dr. Sam Beckett leaps into murder victim

Volusia County, Florida - Dr. Sam Beckett, head of the Quantum Leap Project, and now distressed time traveller, finally leaped into the wrong person. For years he has leapt into people throughout his own personal lifespan, "setting right what onc...

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Funny story: Spoof Writers Meet - Break Space/Time Continuum

Spoof Writers Meet - Break Space/Time Continuum

Portsmouth, UK: Concern is growing after two writers at theSpoof.com from completely different time zones met up in Portsmouth today. Skoob and Morse appear to have unwittingly broken the laws of Physics by appearing together in the same point in s...

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Funny story: Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - With the cause of lightning supposedly still a matter of debate, and with theories ranging from the laughable to the somewhat plausible, San Francisco Onion staff writer and physicist Ginger Steele decided to weigh in on the matte...

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Funny story: Ice is cold: Latest

Ice is cold: Latest

Red-faced scientists now admit that melting polar ice will not raise sea levels as much as first thought. In a statement issued from the Institute of the Bleedin' Obvious, it was acknowledged that ice cubes floating in glasses of water do not signifi...

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Funny story: Higgs Boson discovered - Cern 'furious'

Higgs Boson discovered - Cern 'furious'

The elusive Higgs Boson, the so-called 'God Particle' has been discovered by three schoolboys working with a home-made particle accelerator. The boys, all aged thirteen and from The Francis Howard Academy in York, built the accelerator from bits and...

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Funny story: Physicists closer to finding "God particle"

Physicists closer to finding "God particle"

Despite damage to the large particle accelerator last year, Europe's particle physics lab Cern is still striving to discover the "God particle", also known as Hogg's bison. The particle was first hypothesised by Dr Rode Hogg in 1902. After a lifet...

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Funny story: More accurate than time itself

More accurate than time itself

A new clock developed by the National Physics Laboratory is redefining time itself. The current most accurate clock is a Caesium Fountain Ion clock that is accurate to within a second every 400 million years, but physicists felt that they could do...

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Funny story: Speed of light wrong

Speed of light wrong

Scientists have finally been able to measure the speed of light, and they have discovered that their original speed was wrong. Ray Luminere of the Paris Academe, Paris, used an advanced version of the same technology that catches speeding drivers...

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Funny story: M-Theory Proven With Lost Socks

M-Theory Proven With Lost Socks

Socks that become lost in your washer or dryer are now being investigated as indisputable proof that M-theory is, indeed, a valid hypothesis to explain all existence. Apparently, vibration along the strings that make up all matter in the universe...

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Funny story: Shrodinger's Cat Put Up For Adoption

Shrodinger's Cat Put Up For Adoption

BERKELEY, CA - Physicists at U.C. Berkeley, home of Shrodinger's cat for the last several years, have decided to give up their quantum kitty. "He's become quite a nuisance lately. We love him to death, but his behavior is completely unpredictable...

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Funny story: Huge Success for the Large Hadron Collider

Huge Success for the Large Hadron Collider

Scientist today reveal the full success story of the LHC as they switch it off for a few months to cool down, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) says. A spokesperson said it simply fantastic, "We knew at the outset that just col...

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