Tea-boy to the stars, Michael Gove is said to be disappointed that in the most recent cabinet reshuffle, he was made Minister for Nightclubs, instead being given the job of saving Christmas, and making sure supply chains are open for the spending fun…
British prime minister Boris Johnson has shocked the political world by actually sacking someone: his cleaner. Following controversies involving foreign secretary Dominic Raab, home secretary Priti Patel, and pretty much everyone else in the cabin…
Prime Minister Boris Johnson is leaving it to the country to decide on what they want to do on July 19th. Although, being warned by medical experts, and shops etc that leaving the decision to wear masks to the individuals is a dangerous thing, he…
In shocking news that surprised absolutely no one, another politician (we won't name names, but you can probably guess) has been caught doing something he shouldn't have been. Yes, that's right, he wasn't social distancing. Unlike, the old days th…
The common draught excluder is not as innocent as it may seem. Indeed, it could be a sign of dangers to come, said Lord Elpus, yesterday in the Upper House. "We live in troubled times, in which the common sort of person may rise up and seek despe…
Parliament voted today to endorse a motion accusing the Catholic Church authorities of committing genocide against humanity, in its treatment of priests and the European race. Around 1 million European and Catholic priests are believed to have bee…
Newly ennobled peer Lord Bent has been awarded his title for services to government communications. Beginning in a small way by delivering brown envelopes, he went on to found Bakkanders, liaising between government, civil service and (very) priv…
Speaking in the House of Commons, Minister for Special Deals, Phil Offthebakova-Laurie, hailed the signing of a recent trade agreement with Japan as a triumph for exotic fish keepers. “We’ve netted a good one,” he quipped, to cheers from government b…
The UK government has sensationally revealed how it is coming up with its coronavirus policy, as the country is thrust into yet another lockdown. Boris Johnson is using the 'Hokey Cokey' as inspiration. Believed to be the only song he knows all…
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…
In a move that many Britons are hailing as “a major step forward”, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced, Monday, that, after 'unanimous agreement by the cabinet', that a suggestion box is to be installed outside the gates of Downing Street…
UK Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, has admitted that there will be “tough choices” to be made over public financing. This coupled with the last ten years of austerity should be music to the ears of those in Northern England who voted to put these cunts in p…
The post-Coronavirus tourist industry will use air bridges made from compressed air, and are primed and pumped, to float travelers abroad. ‘With thirty million compressed air jets pointing skyward from Gatwick to dozens of European destinations,…
LONDON - The recent uproar across the pond with issues such as the Coronavirus, systemic racism, and failures in leadership, have led to talks of a potential invasion of the US. “The situation in the United States is troubling, and may require full a…
Furniture manufacturers have complained to the UK government that its cabinet is not fit for purpose, and that it will not fulfil the role expected of it. "It is a hastily thrown-together mishmash of planks, nuts and screws," said Jev Ikeason. "I…
Chris Grayling is to be appointed as the new Chair of the Intelligence Committee as the UK government goes through another restructuring. But for those lefty commentators rubbing their hands in glee at this clear own goal from Boris Johnson, things m...
The Dark Lord Cthulhu, devourer of souls and destroyer of worlds, has been given a seat in Boris Johnson's cabinet, as Minister without Portfolio, replacing Michael Gove. The Great Old One has no previous experience of government, but has a cult f...
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